Am I doing something wrong? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 04-03-2003, 09:15 AM - Thread Starter
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We were about to plan a trip back home to Alabama--16 hr. car trip! But we took a small trip an hour away the other day, and had to stop half way on the way there and back so I could nurse dd (7wks old). She nurses constantly. I don't think she's gone longer than an hour and a half since birth and most of the time nurses about every 45 min. to an hour. This is fine with me, I just feed her on cue. But everyone else, my mother especially, says I'm doing it wrong. That she needs more scheduled feedings and that I'm overfeeding her (ok she does weigh almost 14 lbs). So far I've told them all to kiss my a$$, but it's really starting to bother me. But how do you tell a 7 wk old baby, "Sorry, I know you're hungry but it hasn't been 2 hrs yet, you'll have to wait". That's stupid, right?
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#2 of 10 Old 04-03-2003, 09:21 AM
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feeding your baby on cue is "right"
no its not the most convienient, but get used to it! (LOL) kids aren't convienent!
Raising kids today you have so many more enlightened choices than our parents did even. They did what their mom did, and the neighbors did. what the pediatrician said with little thought or research. they were the experts, kwim?
do what you feel is right for yourself, your family and your baby!

Take your time on your trip, don't get fretting about how many miles you have in x hours! and always wait for a burp!

P.S. you are in the right place for support and belief in those choices!
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#3 of 10 Old 04-03-2003, 10:09 AM
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If you don't feed on cue, you won't have enough milk. The baby will increase the number of times she eats to increase your milk supply. Some babies then eat less often, because your supply is built up.

My dear grandmother tried to breastfeed, but did it on a schedule, because that was the new thing in the 1930s. She didn't have enough milk as a result. That's the economics of breastfeeding for you. You've got to meet the demand to build up your supply!

anyway, is it bad that your baby is growing and thriving? I thought that was the point!

Divorced mom of one awesome boy born 2-3-2003.
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#4 of 10 Old 04-03-2003, 11:47 AM
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Your baby is the perfect size for her, and you are doing the right thing by feeding her on cue! Her weight will plateau at some point. Breastfed babies are much less likely to be obese than formula fed babies, don't worry about the poundage!!

Tell your mother that when she's in a nursing home and can't talk, you'll be happy to feed her on a strict schedule, no matter whether she's hungry sooner or not!

OK, maybe that's a little harsh, but that's me.

Keep up the good work and your confidence - you're doing a great job!

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#5 of 10 Old 04-03-2003, 12:04 PM - Thread Starter
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That's Great!! I will tell her that!!
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#6 of 10 Old 04-03-2003, 12:32 PM
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You are doing the right thing. Your mom is wrong. Sorry, Grandma.

Scheduling babies feeds, sleep training (in a crib, in another room), letting them cry, worries about spoiling, only picking up to feed and change them, were products of a theory called eugenics, popular in the early part of the 20th century. This led to the idea of the Ubermensch and the Nazi revolution. Then add in that many parents who practiced these techniques smoked like chimneys and drank like fishes!

Al these ideas may look good on paper, but are created by men, who are not known for their nurturing qualities. They like to "fix" things. But if it ain't broke, don't fix it, I say. KWIM?

These techniques go against our nature, lead to artificial feeding (or failure to thrive), and kids and parents alienated from each other. Not good.

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#7 of 10 Old 04-03-2003, 03:48 PM
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It is normal and healthy for a baby to nurse every minute of the day and night.

It is normal for you to be surprised by this.

If you schedule your feedings your baby will lose weight and you will lose your milk, whether she weighs 14 pounds or not.

It is normal for older relatives to criticize you. As hard as breastfeeding is these days, as difficult as it is to find accurate information and educated support, it was EVEN HARDER in the past and your mom is simply passing on the BAD information she got when she was a new mom.

Here is an excellent article about what NOT to do, repeat, what NOT!!!!!!!!!!! to do:

"How to Make Breastfeeding Difficult"

Take the time to heal from your marriage before you move on with someone else. Make a list of all the qualities you would like in a new partner and then work on growing that way yourself. ~mandib50
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#8 of 10 Old 04-04-2003, 12:45 AM
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When Lincoln was that age, I remember thinking this nursing around the clock should really be ending now, right? I do think that it pretty quickly did slow down. Pretty soon she'll be too distractable to nurse, with all the action at your house. You'll just be wanting her to finish her meal not un latch and look up every time someone runs by or yells.

Of course Lincoln still would nurse every couple hours if I let him.

I don't remember with Miles at that age, it was in the middle of moving here and quickly running out of money for hotels while trying to find an apartment.

But Miles weighed 12 lbs at 2 weeks and would guess close to 20 lbs. at 2 months. I think he has turned out well so far! In fact he has been having a hard time keeping his pants on lately, they just fall off he has gotten so skinny

When are you going to be gone? I think we are going to be gone almost all of june, flying to kansas and then driving to idaho.
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#9 of 10 Old 04-04-2003, 09:36 AM - Thread Starter
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We are going to be leaving the last weekend of April and staying for 3 wks. I'll be so glad to get back home to my mom and sister

Sometimes I really want to kick my dh in the head, but last night he proved that he really can be wonderful . I was telling him about the comments my mom and his mom had said about my bf'ing and how worried I was about driving home and he said to tell them all to go to hell because obviously I'm doing something right --amazing since he's a big time mama's boy. He also said he would buy me a plane ticket and fly me and Ella home and drive the boys by himself. Of course his mother said that was a bad idea because we would surely catch SARS and die:
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#10 of 10 Old 04-04-2003, 10:00 AM
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Aaron's usually a once/hour nurser too...but when we take him on car trips, he pretty much konks out in the car seat. In fact, I've had trouble waking him after car rides to nurse after 2 1/2 hours! Maybe she'll be so sleepy from the motion that you can get some good driving in then...

Aaron, 1/26/03
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