My 2 1/2 year old nurses more than my newborn - Mothering Forums

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Old 04-05-2003, 12:25 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Is this normal? She used to only nurse three times/day (like a few months ago). Then she started nursing more often but for shorter periods. Now she nurses more than my 4 month old and for longer periods. It's killing me! Advice/support wanted!

Amy - Blessed wife to Jesse (the best dad in the world), mother of 10 on earth plus 8 in heaven.   PROUD to be a Catholic! : winner.jpg familybed2.gifhomeschool.gif

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Old 04-05-2003, 12:34 AM
 
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The problem, as I see it, is that at that age 1) their stomach/appetite is bigger, and 2) nursing is no longer truly driven by hunger but by neediness/boredom/desire to be close to you. My 3.5 year old nurses longer than my 8 month old almost every morning, naptime, and night (the times I let her nurse).

My only advice is to try to figure out how to limit the 2.5 year old in a way that gives you some space and doesn't torture her too much. I'd suggest making the rules based on household routine - no nursing until lunchtime, for example, or whatever you think would work, rather than going by the clock.

I'd guess some might say bear with it and try to wait it out, hoping she'll cut back on her own, but with my own experience I know I would have lost my sanity by now. We're at 4-5 times a day now (officially 3, with some leeway), and I can live with it; I no longer want her to wean immediately but at the same time I'd love for her to nurse less.

Tandem nursing is hard, be kind to yourself and make sure you can still savor nursing the newborn.

Nancy
mom to nurslings Emily (3.5) and Hazel (8 months)
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Old 04-05-2003, 12:38 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by nancg
[
Tandem nursing is hard, be kind to yourself and make sure you can still savor nursing the newborn. [/B]
That's the thing. I want to enjoy nursing him. Nursing a tiny baby is so yummy! Nursing my older child doesn't bug me but at the same time it's just different, KWIM? And it seems like I'm always rushing to nurse him before she sees me and demands to nurse or because I feel like I spend my life nursing!:LOL I guess I'll need to set limits again. I hated doing that but this is truly wearing me out! Thanks!

Amy - Blessed wife to Jesse (the best dad in the world), mother of 10 on earth plus 8 in heaven.   PROUD to be a Catholic! : winner.jpg familybed2.gifhomeschool.gif

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Old 04-05-2003, 01:45 AM
 
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when my toddler is bored or satiated and starts getting fiddly, i cannot stand it. just taking the tip of my nipple in his mouth, flicking a finger on me, figuring out unrhythmic new little sucks, argh. it is distracting me from my baby. so when my instinct is to growl 'enough!', i just do (or not 'do', as that is my toddler's term for nursing )

no guilt- as long as he can nurse w/out driving me nuts, he's welcome. but at 28 months, he can be patient and wait for baby (esp since baby has little interest in food besides me), and he can settle and nurse, but i am not happy when he starts dinking around, kwim?

suse
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Old 04-05-2003, 01:48 AM - Thread Starter
 
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OMG, she hums while she nurses and pulls the skin of my breast. It drives me batty! Then the gymnastics start and I want to scream!

Thanks for all of the support and advice everyone!

Amy - Blessed wife to Jesse (the best dad in the world), mother of 10 on earth plus 8 in heaven.   PROUD to be a Catholic! : winner.jpg familybed2.gifhomeschool.gif

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Old 04-05-2003, 01:50 AM
 
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Dd2 twiddles. Drives me insane. She is beginning to figure out that if she does I will stop nursing. It is getting better.

I can't help you on the other issue, sorry. I assume Jackson is getting all he needs.
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Old 04-05-2003, 03:31 PM
 
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Ohhh, good (and bad, sorry!) I'm not the only one!!

I have been limiting my toddler too, it's just too much for me (dd is only almost 4 weeks, I'm still *TIRED*). As hard as it is, I just try not to spend too much time unoccupied between dd's nursings, since then ds doesn't see an opportunity to even ask.
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Old 04-07-2003, 02:26 PM
 
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I was not tandem nursing but...I did an interesting test once. I went away without my 2 yo nursing ds for 36 hours and pumped with a Lactina. I got out 36 oz in that amt of time! he was nursing 8 times a day. Obviously, despite being a good table foods eater at the time, he was getting tons of nutrition from my milk.

One yr later (same time, same place, LLL conf), I did the same thing. He was still nursing 8 times a day. I got out 8 oz in 36 hours!

So, while you struggle with the acrobatics and all, know that your milk is important to your bfing 2 yo. It is empowering to nourish two at once, altho tiring. Cut back if you need to. Perhaps he will still be able to get out as much in less frequent feeds. Cutting back is an individual thing. The ease will depend on your dedication, and his degree of spirit/determination.

I guess you've read s Mothering Your Nursing Toddler, and How Weaning Happens?
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Old 04-07-2003, 02:54 PM
 
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I could have written this post myself! I also have a 2 1/2 yr old DD (born 9/00 also!) and an almost three month old baby boy. My daughter nurses much more than my son. She was actually weaned before he was born, too! Now she's back with a vengeance. :-) It makes me a bit crazy. I feel like my body doesn't belong to me, and that I'm completely drained (literally) all the time. I've been trying to set limits, but she is SO *into* nursing. I don't want her to feel like I don't love her as much as the baby, and I know that's what nursing means to her. When I weaned her during the pregnancy, I know she wasn't ready and didn't want to, but I couldn't take nursing and being pregnant. That's one reason I let her start up again. But I keep going back and forth on whether or not I want to let her continue nursing. I know she really wants to, but how much can one woman do? :

Oh, well. It so helps to know that all of you are out there going through the same thing. Big hugs and boob-private-time to you all! :-)

Wendy
Mom to Caroline (9/00) and Teddy (1/03)

Momma of three, born 9/2000, 1/2003 and 12/2012!  Married to my beautiful wife, whatever the law says. Nurse practitioner student, RN, childbirth educator and birth doula

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Old 04-07-2003, 04:37 PM
 
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Wow, I am glad I am not the only one dealing with this. My friend said, "Check out the Mothering boards. I bet they have something on this," and lo and behold there is!

I have a 2 1/2 yr old and a new baby girl almost a month old. I nursed the two yr old through my pregnancy and if I let her she would nurse all the time now. However, it hurts! I just can't seem to find the right latch. Could it be the hormones or the latch or the fact that she is just sucking much harder? :

What I have done is limit it to a couple minutes tops. When I am getting to the end of my rope I start the countdown. 2 mins., 1 min, 30 secs. and then I count up to twenty, so at least she is also learning her numbers....

Karen
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