Strange to still be BFing an 8mo old?!!!! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 51 Old 03-19-2007, 03:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yesterday my MIL was making comments about how I'm STILL breastfeeding my 8mo old dd. This has been a continuation for awhile now. I tell her all the benefits and that babies are suppose to be breastfeed (or on formula) until a least a year and I just get empty glares back, not another word until the next time we see her, then it's another comment. Two girls at work saw me with my pump this morning and asked if I was STILL doing "that" and I said yes and smiled. WHY is it socially acceptable to breastfeed a newborn but past that it's not?! Almost everyone I knew was happy and excited to hear that I was breastfeeding her when she was a newborn, including my MIL and the girls at work. Thought it was a great thing, now I get those kind of reactions?! What is the deal?!! Any suggestions on how I can get my MIL to drop it?!
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#2 of 51 Old 03-19-2007, 03:12 PM
 
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MIL's...ain't they grand? And it probably IS strange to be nursing an 8 month old, by mainstream standards. *sigh*

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#3 of 51 Old 03-19-2007, 03:21 PM
 
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I must be strange too! I bet everyone around here is strange. I am getting the same comments, but not from my MIL, from my own mother!
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#4 of 51 Old 03-19-2007, 03:21 PM
 
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I would just be straight with her abd tell her you do not want to hear it anymore. I think it's sad so many people have hang ups w/ a mama feeding her baby.

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
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#5 of 51 Old 03-19-2007, 03:42 PM
 
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i'm quitting mdc because mdc is unkind and discriminates against mamas with special needs babies.
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#6 of 51 Old 03-19-2007, 03:48 PM
 
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It's annoying and frustrating. Know that you have many like-minded mamas here who understand why you have no desire to stop!
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#7 of 51 Old 03-19-2007, 03:49 PM
 
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I must be strange too! I bet everyone around here is strange. I am getting the same comments, but not from my MIL, from my own mother!
Me too- from my mom, grandmother, my sisters, my brother-in-law, etc. I also get the "You'll stop as soon as she gets a tooth!" comments regardless of how many times I tell them otherwise.

: co sleeping, babywearing, cloth diapering SAHM to two beautiful girls.
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#8 of 51 Old 03-19-2007, 04:02 PM
 
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She would think I am really weird then, still nursing my 18 month old! And I don't plan to wean him anytime soon either!
BTW, WHO actually recommends bf to 2 years now

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#9 of 51 Old 03-19-2007, 04:28 PM
 
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I would just be straight with her abd tell her you do not want to hear it anymore.
I like that! Short and sweet and too the point! There is no room for her to come back and say anything else to you.

But I guess I am totally strange too! My ds is 28 months and I still nurse him, LOL.
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#10 of 51 Old 03-19-2007, 04:56 PM
 
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Ask her what she thinks your breasts are better suited for, nourishing a life or advertising beer and cars
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#11 of 51 Old 03-19-2007, 05:05 PM
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My MIL (and mother) may both think I'm a little extreme, but they have the good sense not to make snarky comments. From what they have said, though, it's been clear to me that they were curious and did not really know the facts about infant nutrition and development. I have an 8 month old as well, and my in-laws arrive today for a week visit -- so I'm right here with ya.

Your MIL may be coming from a similarly uneducated perspective, and it may be tough for her to admit she is uneducated about such an important aspect of being a mother. So maybe you can emphasize how much research has been done RECENTLY (i.e., after she was done raising her infants) that confirms the benefits of long-tern BFing, and the risks involved in early introduction of solids or other non_BM foods.
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#12 of 51 Old 03-19-2007, 05:22 PM
 
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Ask her what she thinks your breasts are better suited for, nourishing a life or advertising beer and cars

heee hee
i EBF my DS until 1 year - plan on CLW. i haven't really had many people give me issue with this, but i am pretty upfront with it when they ask and i don't pull any punches when people try to make suggestions that DS doesn't need it anymore (he is 16 months).

Mommy to a wonderfully passionate little one
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#13 of 51 Old 03-19-2007, 07:53 PM
 
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My coworkers ask the same thing ("You're STILL pumping?"). I told them to get used to it. (Actually, I said, "I'll probably pump for at least another 2yrs. So shut up and get used to it.")

Tamara: hs'ing Christian mom of five here and five in Heaven. Joyfully awaiting Punkin, coming mid-Sept!
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#14 of 51 Old 03-20-2007, 01:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ask her what she thinks your breasts are better suited for, nourishing a life or advertising beer and cars
HA! That's a good one. It would be hurtful if it was my own mom making the comments, so I can be thankful that my own mom is my biggest supporter. I will just be straigt with her the next time it comes up and I'm sure it will.
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#15 of 51 Old 03-20-2007, 01:24 PM
 
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I actually had my physician ask me "how old IS he?" when I told him I was still nursing. He was 11 months and with me. I switched doctors after that. That seemed completely absurd to me.
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#16 of 51 Old 03-20-2007, 03:21 PM
 
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Ask her what she thinks your breasts are better suited for, nourishing a life or advertising beer and cars

Doing my best every day with DH , DD (11) , and DS (4)

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#17 of 51 Old 03-20-2007, 03:23 PM
 
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I would just be straight with her abd tell her you do not want to hear it anymore. I think it's sad so many people have hang ups w/ a mama feeding her baby.
:

Doing my best every day with DH , DD (11) , and DS (4)

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#18 of 51 Old 03-20-2007, 08:25 PM
 
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I've gotten questions, but from generally good hearted people who just wanted to be educated.

What really hurt was my sister telling me I was going to be one of THOSE women who bf after the kids can talk. It's disgusting you know.





....



WHAT!!! So I hear you. People think that by BF you are saying that you are better than they are. They just don't get that while I wouldn't mind everyone bfing - I really don't care what they do with their children. I'm not putting your choices down - and I've done MY research - so leave me be!

~ Kim

mama to E (01-2007) and wife to C

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#19 of 51 Old 03-21-2007, 12:45 AM
 
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That's what I just can't understand - the idea that MY BFing is somehow a eflection on THEIR choices. Uhm, nope! Sorry! I do my thing, you do/did yours. Own your own choices and decisions. I do!

Still EBF at 6 months. FIL, when baby was 23 hours old, told me she had had enough of *that* and we could switch to formula now. I stopped him quite firmly and rather diplomatically, considering the state I was in. Hello? I had just given birth, and you know how stubburn and outspoken I am! So, you know, I can't wait to hear the barrage of comments I'm in for in the future.
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#20 of 51 Old 03-21-2007, 12:58 AM
 
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I would just be straight with her abd tell her you do not want to hear it anymore. I think it's sad so many people have hang ups w/ a mama feeding her baby.
:

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#21 of 51 Old 03-21-2007, 01:01 AM
 
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i havne't had any questions about my bfing, but i had a couple of people comment on my weight gain during pregnancy (hello, i only gained 30 lbs, and only in front, and most people were surprised at how little i gained... but some people have issues) and i just said "my midwives are really happy with how i'm doing" and when one co-worker brought it up more than twice i laughed and said "well i can see why you didn't get into med school! mmy actual doctor thinks i'm fine!" and that shut her up entirely.
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#22 of 51 Old 03-21-2007, 08:57 AM
 
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I'm starting to get comments too. DS is 14 mos old, and it's like once you hit 1 year, you're expected not to BF anymore. I got comments with DD who weaned at 15 months, and I'm getting it now too. I don't expect DS to wean so quickly .

I've been suffering with thrush for a few days, and I mentioned it to my mom, who said, "then maybe it's time to stop?" Actually, no, it isn't. DUH.
She knows me well enough to know that was a dumb question.

It's nice to come here and see I'm far from being an extended BFer just yet.
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#23 of 51 Old 03-21-2007, 09:00 AM
 
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Originally Posted by momtosimon View Post
I must be strange too!
Me too, my dd caitlin is still breastfeeding at almost 21 mths

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#24 of 51 Old 03-21-2007, 10:05 AM
 
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I get comments too!!! ds is 17 mos. I've slowly become less sensitive (or annoyed) to the judgement and now I just remind them how healthy ds is and that I attribute it to breast milk.

I used to site AAP, WHO recommendations and really how can anyone argue with that? I also have used, my doctor fully supports it... blah, blah... Uniformed people tend to believe anything doctors say, imho.

It's always empowering for me to tip the scales and go to a LLL meeting or an AP meeting to surround myself by others where it's the norm to bf and do clw.
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#25 of 51 Old 03-22-2007, 03:11 PM
 
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clw? what's that?

Doing my best every day with DH , DD (11) , and DS (4)

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#26 of 51 Old 03-22-2007, 03:12 PM
 
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child led weaning... just figured that out in my own head.

Doing my best every day with DH , DD (11) , and DS (4)

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#27 of 51 Old 03-22-2007, 06:50 PM
 
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I must be a real freak nursing my 21 month old.
Of course a woman slapped my arm the other day and told me to "wean that baby". Yes she physcially slapped me.
I was shocked
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#28 of 51 Old 03-22-2007, 06:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I must be a real freak nursing my 21 month old.
Of course a woman slapped my arm the other day and told me to "wean that baby". Yes she physcially slapped me.
I was shocked
OH MY!!! Did you say anything to her?!
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#29 of 51 Old 03-22-2007, 11:43 PM
 
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My response to these types of things: "Yes, we are still nursing! Isn't he a lucky baby/toddler/child to have a mother who cares so much about his health?" or "Oh, yes, the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for at least the first two years. And the American Academy of Pediatrics says a baby should get most of her calories from nursing for the first year and that breastfeeding should continue for as long thereafter as is mutually desirable."

The one I really love, a LLL leader I know always suggests is "My doctor said it's important to nurse through the second winter" -- it's so confusing and can be interpreted in so many ways, it's hard to refute.

- I love these little 'educational opportunities'!!!
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#30 of 51 Old 03-22-2007, 11:50 PM
 
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Well then I must be a real wierdo 23 weeks pregnant and nursing a 19 month old. When people say things to me I generally say why should you have a problem with it, I am doing what is best for my childs health and I am not asking you to nurse my child?!

Jenese Mama to Elliot 8/05 and Millie Jane 7/07 and Cecilia Kate 1/11
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