How would you handle this situation? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 06-30-2007, 11:34 PM - Thread Starter
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Whenever I would nurse my dd around my in-laws it was awkward and embarrassing. Anytime I would say I was going to nurse MIL would jump up and grab my things and then escort me to another room, forcing me to leave the group and separate myself from the entire family/celebration.

I understand that she has a 17 year old son and they can be modest to a fault but it's not like I was flashing everyone or being showy in any way. We were at the park for a picnic and I was sitting on the ground and dh said "Oh, looks like dd is hungry" and MIL jumps up and offers me the camping chair... I accept and she then takes the chair and faces it in an opposite direction so that my back is to the family and I am staring into the tree line! : I felt like a two year old with my nose in the corner. It makes me feel like I should be ashamed or something!

I don't know what to say or how to approach it but it hurts my feelings. She bf her children past infancy so you'd think she'd be sensitive... but I also don't want to offend their modesty policy. How would you handle this in a kind, respectful way? I'm planning ahead for #2.

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#2 of 6 Old 06-30-2007, 11:51 PM
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My MIL never moved my stuff - but she used to always leave or if we were in public try to go home (like I would realy make my kid wait to eat).

I just kept insisting I was comfortable and continuing to nurse wherever, now she and the rest of my in-laws are pretty used to it.

I doubt your MIL means to hurt your feelings...maybe she is just trying to make you more comfortable...and once she see's you are maybe she won't do that anymore....

I hope things get better for you...DH, myself along with his twin's family are much more AP etc (like my family growing up) whereas my DH's family growing up (and therefore many of my in-laws) are more mainstream. ..I know it's a little rough.
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#3 of 6 Old 06-30-2007, 11:53 PM
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Wow... How rude of her.. I personally would have turned the chair right back around.. Or took my things back into the room. If you dont want to nurse in another room, then dont.. But you do need to speak up and tell her that it hurts your feelings that you are being isolated from the family. Tell her that breastfeeding is completely natural and that by her shooing you away she is not helping societies perception of breastfeeding..
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#4 of 6 Old 07-01-2007, 12:00 AM
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maybe don't announce that baby is hungry, just do it!
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#5 of 6 Old 07-01-2007, 12:09 AM
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Originally Posted by adzuki_bean View Post
maybe don't announce that baby is hungry, just do it!


Or if she starts moving stuff around again, grab it back and say, "I'm fine where I am, but thanks for helping!" in a cheerful voice. I would have acted like turning the chair around was an amusing little mistake and turn it back around.
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#6 of 6 Old 07-01-2007, 12:27 AM
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Uh, yeah. My in-laws all go hide to nurse their babies. I don't-- it freaks the bejesus out of some of them. *shrug* they get over it.

Next time, ask her where she's going with your things and tell her that she can bring them back because you're comfortable where you are. Be prepareed, though for them to all get up and leave the room instead. That's happened to me, too.

Turn your chair back around and say something like, "Thank you, but I enjoy being part of the group." and go on nursing.

THe seventeen year old SHOULD SEE WOMEN BREASTFEEDING, if they want him to support it.

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