All I have to say is NO UNDERWIRES!!!!
They poked me in the armpits and gave me plugged ducts. Soft cup or nothing for me!
I have worn a variety of styles but at 38 I/J cup (that's 10 - 11 inches bigger than my back - can you say top heavy?).
My absolute favorite is the Brantly / Cameo / Colesce bras:
Mabel at Ah Bras was wonderful!http://www.ahbras.com/J_Col_CFB.htm
I personally have two of the Brantly CF Bra Lady Cameo - Nude Lace - Ultra Support and two of the Cameo CF Bra
Confidant - 1 Black Satin Knit, 1 Beige Satin Knit.
The only down side is that they are quite expensive in the bigger sizes. I wear a 38 I/J and they cost about $55 each.
These bras fit 25 to 50 back size and AA to N cup size.
You can find them online, but they are usually sold by independent distributors who will cutom fit you. These bras are different in several ways.
Back strap is low, the bra is high in the back. A linen band supports the weight of your breast and makes a shelf. You put the bra on by opening the cups and gently pulling the brast tissue out of your armpit and into the cup. To nurse, just undo the cups.http://www.ahbras.com/how_to_fit_your_brantly.htm
This bra will put weight on the neck, the neck muscles and the spine. It also contributes to rounding the shoulders and this type of posture. If there isn't good lymph flow, then the lymph starts to accumulate. When the lymph starts to accumulate, it could contribute to a lot of dysfunctions, including cancer. These uplifting undergarments bring a woman's chest four to five inches closer to her chin and makes her look 10 to 15 pounds lighter.
Quite honestly, the best bras ever. And they're not specifically for nursing, so you can wear them long after (I've been wearing them since I was 25). These bras have a cult following. If you don't feel comfortable not wearing a bra, but you hate the way your breasts look in clothes (or not fitting right), try on one of these bras.
To find a dealer in your area (by state):http://www.ahbras.com/CADUSA.HTM