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Old 10-19-2007, 01:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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..i should be able to breastfeed, right?

I dream at night about breastfeeding.. i WANT to breastfeed more than anything, but people keep telling me and my dh that its '"too demanding" or "hurts too much" and i wont be able to do it. My dh luckily defended me against the "hurts too much" crowd at his work (since i wasnt even there to defend myself, and they havent even met me, but felt comfortable telling dh i wouldnt be able to bf : )

so if im absolutely completely 100% committed... i should be okay, right? Im so scared that i wont be able to, but i would feel like a complete failure if i couldnt feed my kid...

is this just normal first time mom stuff?

Artie, mom to Riley 3/22/08 and a surprise due Oct 2011!
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Old 10-19-2007, 01:27 PM
 
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Yes. You absolutely should be able to breastfeed.
I had people tell me the same things when pg with #1 and you know what? I didn't hurt at all once I got past 1 day of engorgement. I did go on to have minor issues with my subsequent children but nothing that even made me considering stopping.

Get some support. Go to a class. Meet with a lactation consultant and read everything you can get your hands on.

 Keri wife and Mama to  Cory 17,  Brendan 15,  Kerianne 8,  Avery 7,  Lilia 3
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Old 10-19-2007, 01:28 PM
 
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Yes, it is just new mom stuff. And Yes! you will be able to beastfeed.

I BF my DD and it did hurt a little for a few days near the beggining but it was becouse her latch was off. Gets some Lanolin and start using it on your nipples before your baby is even born it will help with the pain later.
People are always so down on breastfeeding. It is so irritating, if people did not walk around saying how much it hurts and that it is so hard then I bet so many more women would breastfeed.
I am sorry that you are having to deal with so much negitive energy. Try to think more postitivly, I CAN BREAST FEED! I WILL DO IT!
also my advice to every first time mom is try to take a class in breastfeeding, I took one (it was only an hour long!) and it totally changed the whole breastfeeding experience for me. It will make you feel so much more confindent becouse you have the knowlage that you need to succeed.
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Old 10-19-2007, 01:34 PM
 
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Try to ignore those nay-sayers! I think it's important to be prepared that it will be hard but you can stick through it and should be able to have a successful breastfeeding relationship. However, I was determined, patient and understanding and my DS just simply REFUSED to breastfeed. I probably could have stuck with it longer but at 8 weeks, I just resigned to pump and bottle feed EBM. With DD, though, she took to it much easier and we had a great experience from the beginning.

Good luck!
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Old 10-19-2007, 01:36 PM
 
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Yes, yes, yes! You can do it! I highly recommend The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. It covers so much and really makes you feel good about BFing. Also, I had my mom read The Everything Breastfeeding Book. It's not as detailed but good for a quick read. She did not BF us, so it was helpful for her to learn some of the basics (esp. about comfort nursing).

Dismiss the negative comments...you will be fine!

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Old 10-19-2007, 01:56 PM
 
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Yes you will! Ignore the naysayers. Here's what my MIL said when she found out I was pg: "Oh, and don't worry if you can't breastfeed, it's not that important!" Whaaa???? I had a LOT of naysayers about everything we chose: Breastfeeding, breastfeeding until age 3, co-sleeping, natural childbirth. Every single thing everyone "warned" us about failed to come true.

That said, we did have some difficulty in the beginning (my milk came in a little late). I wish I'd admitted we were having trouble before I did (a wonderful LC saved everything). I'm very, very stubborn and thought I knew everything about bf'ing (intellectually, I did -- I read EVERYthing). This time around, I will seek help early even if I don't think I need it.

You will be sucessful at this! Just roll your eyes at the naysayers. Often they are folks who quit early/had bad information/pressure and need to validate what they went through. I try to remember this so I don't get angry!
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Old 10-19-2007, 02:06 PM
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Yes, you can do it. It might be a good idea to get hold of a local LC jsut in case there are any problems in the beginning. We had some issues (tongue-tie) and met w/a LC twice (on the second day and at about 2 weeks pp) and it did a world of good!!

I know it caused me quite a bit of discomfort, but it eventually went away and breastfeeding is going great now. If you do have problems, whatever you do-don't get discouraged!! It will be easy and enjoyable soon, if not right away!
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Old 10-19-2007, 02:11 PM
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You can do it for sure! And I think being really committed ahead of time helps--that and educating yourself.

Re pain--hey--I had me some nipple pain. What can I tell you. It can hurt and you can get sore crusty nipples even if the latch is perfecto. It's not unbearable, and it doesn't last. Use Tylenol and Lansinoh; I agree with whoever said to use Lansinoh BEFORE it starts to hurt, even before the baby is born. You'll get through it. That's a silly thing for people to get you all worried about.

Like most parenting things, with breastfeeding there's a period of learning and getting over the "hump," even with second children. Just anticipate it and stay motivated and before you know it it will all be second nature.
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Old 10-19-2007, 02:12 PM
 
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It is very uncommon to actually be unABLE to BF. Most of the time when folks have trouble or excessive pain, it is due to latch-on. I highly reccommend the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding (someone linked it above). And if you do have any difficulty, don't hesitate to contact a lactation consultant or a local La Leche League Leader, or just a friend you know that has successfully breast fed. Oh, and don't forget to drink MASSIVE amounts of water! If you're not hydrated enough, it can make it hard for a NB to suck strongly enough to get the milk out. : You'll do fine! You've got a great attitude, if you just won't worry about it too much, or your nerves might get in the way (which yes, it is normal new-mama stuff to worry about it anyway).
Good Luck!

Sarah , Wife to DH , Mommy to DS 01/07 , DD 04/09 , and Due 04/11
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Old 10-19-2007, 02:15 PM
 
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I recommend starting to go to LLL meetings now. Build yourself a support system. Hearing you CAN do it is oh-so helpful, and having women surrounding you who were able to and also know how to troubleshoot is helpful, too.

Yes, it hurts a bit in the beginning (because you have to teach YOURSELF and YOUR BABY how to do it properly, so there can be a bit of a learning curve) but once you get it down, it's just oh-so easy. Hold out through the hard stuff, it WILL get easier.

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Old 10-19-2007, 02:19 PM
 
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Being 100% committed AND having a good support system in place will take you far. I was 100% committed to breastfeeding, but when there were problems, everyone suggested switching to formula. My problems were due to a jaundiced baby not getting "enough" (according to the doctors) to produce the "output" they were looking for. So I was encouraged by everyone to switch to formula. (Also have to mention that I have flat nipples and experienced blocked ducts.) None of these issues would have prevented me from breastfeeding in and of itself.

Had I had a good support system in place, I feel that I could have continued to breastfeed - but even being 100% committed to breastfeeding, as a first time mom having everyone encourage you to formula feed can make you rethink your position - especially when you're hearing that it will be "best for the baby."

Oh, if I only knew what I know now - but I did not have as much information that I should have.

So, in my opinion, the commitment is awesome, but it will only get you so far. You really need to have a good support system in place, so that if there are problems, you won't feel like you have to abandon breastfeeding. Read all the information you can from this board and the other experienced mamas. THAT will give you tremendous support. But you also need support IRL.

Best wishes to you and good luck with your little one.
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Old 10-19-2007, 02:23 PM
 
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If it's any consolation, I'm a first time mom of a four month old and I didn't have any pain, even in the first month, with my breastfeeding daughter. Somtimes when she first latched on there would be a moment that made me catch my breath but as soon as she really started sucking, the pain was gone. Believe me, I was prepared for the worst. I have bucket loads of Lanolin I've never used!
Now, there's a chance this won't be your experience, but there's a chance it will be. The most important thing to remember when folks offer such "advice" is that every body, every baby is different. Your attitude will make all the difference.
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Old 10-19-2007, 02:29 PM
 
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I wouldn't say so much as a support system, as much as the confidence to go on ahead in a sea of naysayers. I had/have no support, at the slightest hint of a problem "ugh. give that kid a bottle already." but I'm stubborn and persistance paid off. NOT nursing never entered my mind with my first, to be honest. Now that I'm on #3 and read more I'm kind of scared that it IS possible to not be able to hack it.

Just keep reading and remember that there's plenty of people on these forums who support you - find your own support, be it here or a local LLL.
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Old 10-19-2007, 02:32 PM
 
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I feared breast feeding more than giving birth!!!

It was easy and natural for me/us. In fact, the morning of the day my ds was born, I was calling people up to announce his birth and telling them he was a genius on the phone because he nursed in the delivery room.

I LOVE nursing. I think you will, too. :

I am astoundingly lucky! Mother to my beloved child since 01/06/07. Fighting cancer since 09/06/07.
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Old 10-19-2007, 03:06 PM
 
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I haven't been able to read the other responses, but just wanted to say that once I read that nearly everyone in Brazil bf's you have to get a doctor's prescription to buy formula, I knew we could do it. And you can too!

PS, I'm no expert or LC, but I will say that I have seen cases of not enough milk production, and PCOS was the culprit. Otherwise, I go by what I heard about Brazil and believe anyone is capable.
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Old 10-19-2007, 03:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks so much everyone


i do think i will start attending LLL meetings soon... especially since the hospital i will be delivering at does NOT have a lactation consultant

but, my midwife said they will help me get started, so hopefully i wont have too much trouble, but i have contacted my local LLL, so hopefully i can go there soon too

Artie, mom to Riley 3/22/08 and a surprise due Oct 2011!
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Old 10-19-2007, 03:29 PM
 
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thanks so much everyone


i do think i will start attending LLL meetings soon... especially since the hospital i will be delivering at does NOT have a lactation consultant

but, my midwife said they will help me get started, so hopefully i wont have too much trouble, but i have contacted my local LLL, so hopefully i can go there soon too
Wow no LC!!! I would be careful of that hospital in general, since they are basically saying by not having an IBCLC on staff that they really don't think BFing is all that important! BECAREFUL of any advice anyone gives you there. Especially if they call themselves an LC, you need to ask what their training was, are they an IBCLC (a board certified LC or just someone who has taken a weekend course and worked in a hospital setting for a while. ) If they are not Board certified they should be doing NOTHING more than helping you get a good latch, if it still hurts they need to refer you to a IBCLC and not give you any other advice like " try pumping and bottle feeding or cup feeding until your nips feel better" just don't listen to anything other than how to make your latch better from just standard LCs. I would stick out any problems (even huge pain) until you can talk to a IBCLC if I had a problem cause basically doing anything other than BFing until you get certified help when you do have a major problem will usually make the problem worse.

Sorry to be the voice of warning. But things did not go so well for me in my hospital stay and people calling themselves LCs made things sooooooooo much worse. I did a lot of reading but I know now i needed a better more educated support network not just loving friends who knew nothing about BFing. LLL would have been a big help and also reading more books about the problems associated with BFing so I knew what to expect if things were not smooth sailing. A GREAT book to take with you to the hospital for just those occasions would be "The ultimate Guide to BFing" by Jack Newman. Here is his website....www.drjacknewman.com

Oh and I guess what I am trying to say that you can totally do this!!! Basically everyone should be able to BF. :

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Old 10-19-2007, 03:37 PM
 
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You certainly can do it! Beware of all of the negativity and try to surround yourself with positive and supportive resources. Start attending LLL meetings now, read some breastfeeding books, subscrie to Mothering Magazine if you are not already, attend a breastfeeding class. The majority of women who end up giving up bf were not informed and had minimal support. Good Luck!
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Old 10-19-2007, 04:53 PM
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thanks so much everyone


i do think i will start attending LLL meetings soon... especially since the hospital i will be delivering at does NOT have a lactation consultant

but, my midwife said they will help me get started, so hopefully i wont have too much trouble, but i have contacted my local LLL, so hopefully i can go there soon too
If you assume that most advice you get regarding breastfeeding and supplementation is suspect, and do not follow such advice until you have been able to confirm it elsewhere from pro-baby (i.e., pro-breastfeeding) sources, you will hopefully be able to avoid the harm brought about by the pro-formula, pro-intervention, pro-capitalist-medicine approach to birthing and feeding babies that is so sadly prevalent in the U.S.

Read up on nipple confusion, read up on the benefits of maintaining your newborn's sterile gut, read up on jaundice and treatment of it, read up on normal weight gain/loss patterns in newborns. As if the trials of labor weren't enough, one has to run a virtual gauntlet to keep people from sabotaging your breastfeeding relationship before it gets started. If you and your partner are informed from the start, you stand a better chance of jumping these (absurd and baby-unfriendly) hurdles.

Also - tell any commercial entity that asks, i.e., maternity shops, baby magazines, whatever, that you plan on using formula. Tell them that and they'll leave you alone. Tell them you plan on BFing and they'll barrage you with free samples, coupons, and all sorts of marketing material to try to undermine your commitment to nursing. Some OBs and midwives have been known to share information like this with formula companies as well (in violation of HIPPA)... so don't even trust your healthcare providers not to sell you out.
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Old 10-19-2007, 06:02 PM
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OK, remember you're not going into warfare. Even if people are ignorant about breastfeeding and giving you crappy and damaging advice, it's not as though they secretly want to harm you or your baby. I think it's important to go into all of this reasonably confident and relaxed.

In the hospital, just keeping baby with you at all times (to the degree possible) will go a long way to simplify thing in re. breastfeeding. Remember that it takes milk several days to come in, so you don't even need to waste a single thought on "Do I have enough" the entire time you're in the hospital. So don't let anyone there convince you that baby "needs" formula. If you're getting pressure from a nurse, just tell her you need to speak to your baby's doctor before you give any supplements (and be sure that you have a pro-breastfeeding doctor for your baby!). You will be fine--just nurse as much as you can, and if you're having problems with a latch you can deal with it at LLL after you're released; they'll help you figure it out. GL and I'm sure you will do fine!
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Old 10-19-2007, 06:09 PM
 
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Of course you can do it. Tell them stop being ridiculous, the human race simply wouldn't exist if breastfeeding didn't work out most of the time.

I bf 21 months in spite of a child who could not physically nurse. Rare circumstances occur, most of the time they can be overcome, sometimes they can't- but don't set yourself up for failure by absorbing their negative energy.

I would memorize kellymom if I were you, it's a wonderful resource for anyone who plans to bf! that way if any difficulties come up, you'll already know how to handle it and won't succumb to undue pressure to supplement. you CAN and WILL do it.

http://kellymom.com

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Old 10-19-2007, 07:58 PM
 
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Of course you can do it. Tell them stop being ridiculous, the human race simply wouldn't exist if breastfeeding didn't work out most of the time.
I love that!
It is so true though!
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Old 10-19-2007, 08:51 PM
 
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Yes! You're going in with a great outlook, you're well educated on the benefits of nursing and the risks of formula feeding, and you have a good support system in place. Trust that your body will do exactly what it's designed to do. You can do this!

Robin, strong and happy single mama to Anna (7/06)
"Au milieu de l'hiver, j'ai découvert en moi un invincible été."
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Old 10-20-2007, 12:54 AM
 
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I don't have time to read all the replies but I just want to say that you sound like a prime candidate to successfully breastfeed!

It is an incredible gift that you can give your baby but it does come with it s challenges. I was scared too mainly b/c I've had breast surgery. And while I have struggled with supply (I take domperidone) and got bit last night which hurt like hell, for the most part it's been pretty easy.

Being determined to succeed and knowing that if you have trouble you can get help will put you on the right path. Best of luck!
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Old 10-20-2007, 01:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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im really not sure why they dont have a LC on staff anymore... i heard about this through the "finding your tribe" board..

the great thing is (and why im not worried about my hospital) is when i was talking to my midwife last week, she said how in the birthing center (attached to the hospital) i can walk around and such, and then she goes "and as soon as you have the baby you keep it at all times, and we'll help you start breastfeeding immediately".. so it was just ASSUMED i would breastfeed (which is how it should be, IMO, lol)... so im not too worried about that part-- im MORE worried about when i get OUT of there, lol.

Artie, mom to Riley 3/22/08 and a surprise due Oct 2011!
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Old 10-20-2007, 01:26 AM
 
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My attitude before DS1 was born was that I was going to nurse come hell or high water. However, I'm clumsy. Not coordinated at all. I'm very slow at learning anything physical. So I assumed I'd have a hard time with learning to BF. I decided it was going to be three times harder for me to learn to nurse than an average person, so I woudl have to work three times harder.

So I was delighted when I had a pretty average experience getting started. Sounds like you're setting yourself up for success!
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Old 10-20-2007, 01:50 AM
 
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Like Bri276 says, it's this simple: if the vast majority of human women weren't able to breastfeed--and do so without major intervention, at that--then we'd have gone extinct by now. I by no means mean to diminish the very real difficulties that a lot of mothers have gone through, but I do think that the great majority of difficulties are culturally created. (On the other hand, even with the best of advice, sometimes you'll have to accept that your baby didn't read the book, and let them do it their way).
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Old 10-20-2007, 04:26 AM
 
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Getting support. Whether it be LL meetings, a friend, or a sister, someone who sees the importance of breastfeeding.

With my first, I assumed it would be a breeze. She was hospitalized soon after birth. She ended up with nipple confusion. I wasn't assertive enough to prevent it. I was also suffering from a bit of the baby blues, so I felt like a failure.

The next pregnancy, I was armed with support. It's not fun and easy those first weeks, at least in my experience. You especially need the support then. There will be a few feedings that may not be productive, latch issues, sleep depravation, baby blues, all at the same time. You panic a bit. But, you get through it. After the first few weeks, the baby will sleep an extra hour at night and that's really helpful. It gradually becomes easier. Really, it only took about 3 weeks for me to get to that point. Where I was confident. The first 4 days being the hardest. The day my milk came in, mine was a little cranky because she was starting to get hungry and hadn't quite realized that I was her meal ticket. Once she got to that point, it was easier.

It's immensely satisfying and once you really get the hang of it, you feel the absolute neccesity of it. DD is now 2 months old and I love feeding her.

But, those first few weeks can be tough. But honestly, it was a lot tougher not successfully nursing my first. If you have a partner, make sure they know how absolutely important it is for you to breastfeed. Don't underestimate the baby blues. I was unpleasantly surprised by the intensity, and the erratic nature of my moods. I know I keep stressing the bb, but I think it made things harder than it would have been. It could have halted everything had I not had support. Luckily, it went away promptly 2 weeks pp.

A PP mentioned kellymom.com Really a life saver. It's helped me feel more confident when there was an especially bad day. The women on this board have also been very helpful. I mostly lurk, and early on, if I felt something was not quite right (poop color, gassiness, bras, can I drink coffee, etc), I would search the archives and my questions were always answered.
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Old 10-20-2007, 04:53 AM
 
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I had intense pain at the start. I wanted to give up.

DS is now 4 months old and I love feeding him. It's relaxing, it makes me (and him!) sleepy, it's so darn easy, too.

I LOVE IT.
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Old 10-20-2007, 04:59 AM
 
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Yes, you most likely will.

Think about the reasons they're giving you - would 'too demanding' or 'hurts too much' stop you, seriously?
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