Covering up? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 40 Old 03-12-2008, 07:23 AM - Thread Starter
 
jacquelinej11's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 165
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We're in Hawaii on vacation and we were at the beach and DS was hungry, so naturally I popped out his tap and started feeding him.

I didn't make a huge scene of it. I didn't announce to everyone, "HELLO EVERYONE I'M ABOUT TO PULL OUT MY BOOB SO MY SON CAN HAVE HIS MEAL!!!" In fact, no one noticed, and the locals we were hanging out with continued their conversation with me like nothing happened.

Well, my mom walked up and flipped out, grabbed a blanket and covered me up... I pulled the blanket off - granted we were in the shade but it's in the high 70s low 80s out there and I don't need DS suffocating on me. Pulling off the blanket was apparently the wrong thing to do cause she said, "Modesty, Jacqueline!"

My sister gave her a dirty look and said, "Marshall's gonna get really hot."

Me, "There are more naked women out here than me right now..."

Mom, "But you need to keep you're modesty!"

Sister, "I don't get it... You're feeding your baby..."

Mom, "It's the principal of things. Boys are going to check her out."

Sister, "Her jugs are huge already - they'd be looking anyway. I don't think her breastfeeding is going to turn them on."

Me, "Hey you never know "

Sorry to tell the whole story - but would you have done otherwise? I mean I'm 50/50 on covering up - if it's cold I cover up... but DS really doesn't like to sweat underneath the blankey...

How often do you cover up?
jacquelinej11 is offline  
#2 of 40 Old 03-12-2008, 08:21 AM
 
wildflower18's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: PA
Posts: 512
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
No reason to cover up IMO, it just attracts more attention. Obviously the locals didn't mind. Modesty goes out the window when you give birth and I think it never fully returns.
wildflower18 is offline  
#3 of 40 Old 03-12-2008, 08:30 AM
 
mntnmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Germany
Posts: 1,835
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I would have done the same. I understand a lot of people are uncomfortable with it, but I feel no obligation to smother my child because someone I don't know might become aroused by the sight of a bare breast. Like they can't see it on TV.

Mom of 4 aspiring midwife "Friend"ly seeker
mntnmom is offline  
#4 of 40 Old 03-12-2008, 09:41 AM
 
GooeyRN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 7,119
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I wouldn't cover my baby when its hot. I don't use a cover b/c I hate fiddling with one and a squirmy baby. No way would I cover a baby when its hot. And if you were on a beach, others were probably showing more skin than you were anyway. I sometimes use a blanket to cover my exposed belly or side, but there isn't a need to do that on a beach.

BTW, I am a very modest person.
GooeyRN is offline  
#5 of 40 Old 03-12-2008, 11:02 AM
 
LittleRocketMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 68
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I always feel that covering up attracts more attention....

Carrie, Scientist and Mom to two DDs (11/13/07) and (8/31/10)
LittleRocketMom is offline  
#6 of 40 Old 03-12-2008, 11:53 AM
 
KimProbable's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Edmonton, Alberta
Posts: 1,524
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I agree with LittleRocketMom.

I used to cover up DS but it was a pain in the butt. I've never covered DD.

Oh, and I think your sister is HILARIOUS! "Her jugs are huge already"

Kim - Wife to Liam , Unschooly mama to Nick (10/00) Lily (09/05) and Olivia (07/09)
KimProbable is offline  
#7 of 40 Old 03-12-2008, 12:50 PM
 
rmzbm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: NC
Posts: 16,378
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by jacquelinej11 View Post
How often do you cover up?
Never. And throwing blankets on people & going on about it isn't all that discreet really.

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
rmzbm is offline  
#8 of 40 Old 03-12-2008, 12:56 PM
 
annakiss's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: O-hi-o-hi-o
Posts: 16,268
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thank goodness your sister was there with her humor! Go sis!

I don't ever cover up and wouldn't. I've nursed on the beach too in a bikini. I had a whole group of neighborhood kids watching me nurse ds (2 at the time) last summer during break time at a splash pool. I figure it's likely the only nursing a big kid they'll ever see. I didn't totally expose my whole breast or anything, but screw modesty.

anna kiss partner to jon radical mama to aleks (8/02) and bastian (5/05)
annakiss is offline  
#9 of 40 Old 03-12-2008, 12:57 PM
 
merry-mary's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,418
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My feeling on this is cover up or don't cover up: whatever is most comfortable for YOU. I do agree that covering up will bring more attention than just nursing without a cover.

Frankly, it doesn't bother me to see a mom covered up (though if I saw you under a blanket on the beach I would have felt sorry for you since I knew you were hot). If I see a mom nursing w/o a cover or with one, I'm just thrilled to see her nursing at all!
merry-mary is offline  
#10 of 40 Old 03-12-2008, 01:11 PM
 
sarahn4639's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 2,698
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i cover in church while latching and then take it off his head but i don't think i cover anywhere else. i think your mom was out of line but i'm sure she was probably just feeling like she was protecting you. (all those perverted men getting a kick out of watching you breastfeed you know) i agree that it just makes it more obvious, i frequently have people come up and start looking at/ talking to my babies and get all embarrassed when they realize they are nursing.

Sarah-wife, mother, doula, and teacher.
sarahn4639 is offline  
#11 of 40 Old 03-12-2008, 01:12 PM
 
jbirdbrain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Wyoming
Posts: 463
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have a very thin cover-up that I use in public places (more for my midrift and stretch marks than for anything else). But on a beach where its hot? I don't think it matters one way or the other. Whatever is most comfortable for you and your LO.

And yeah, covering up seems to attract more attention, doesn't it?

Mama to Otto (9/07) and expecting Greta (EDD 6/13)  familybed2.giffemalesling.GIFnocirc.giflactivist.gif

jbirdbrain is offline  
#12 of 40 Old 03-12-2008, 01:36 PM
 
alegna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 44,408
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I never cover.

And minding one's own business is a much more important virtue than "modesty"

-Angela
alegna is offline  
#13 of 40 Old 03-12-2008, 02:13 PM
 
beckyand3littlemonsters's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Leeds, England
Posts: 3,277
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've never covered up don't really thinks there is any need as baby usually covers up most of the breast anyway.

Becky, sahm to angel.gif25/04/2000 Chloe 12/04/2002 Cameron 19/02/2004 Caitlin 28/06/2005 angel.gif24/07/2006 and Caden 14/03/2008

Xander 19/05/2011
angel.gif 19.05.2012 angel.gif 18.08.2012 angel.gif 24.05.2013 angel.gif 25.6.2013 belly.gif 04.09.2014 uc.jpg

beckyand3littlemonsters is offline  
#14 of 40 Old 03-12-2008, 02:28 PM
 
_betsy_'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 4,687
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Your Mom probably drew far more attention to what you were doing than you just quietly going about your business.

I never cover up. We've nursed on a couple beaches and never had so much as a glance, knowing or unknowing, approving or disapproving, at any time/


Feed your baby. If you are uncomfortable and want to cover up or leave the room (Like, I'm thinking maybe at church, or if you're cold, or whatever) you do it. But because YOU want to, not because you're afraid someone might look or someone might not approve.
_betsy_ is offline  
#15 of 40 Old 03-12-2008, 02:36 PM
 
CalebsMama05's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Lincoln, Nebraska
Posts: 3,437
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I never cover up either...

Jami (25) Roland (27) & Caleb (5), Jacob (3.5) , Kaitlyn (2)
CalebsMama05 is offline  
#16 of 40 Old 03-12-2008, 02:51 PM
 
mamalibby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 128
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
[QUOTE=alegna;10746912]

And minding one's own business is a much more important virtue than "modesty"

-Angela[/QUOTE
Perfect! that is my new, more polite motto for the spring (much nicer than my previous motto of "scr*w you! I'm feeding my kid!" Thanks!
mamalibby is offline  
#17 of 40 Old 03-12-2008, 03:33 PM
 
sunnygir1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 2,260
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't cover.

I have tried it from time to time in situations where there was too much going on for dd to focus on the task at hand, but it had to do with getting her fed, not hiding it from the people around us.

I have a strong sense of anti-modesty. I feel like a failure if I give in to societal pressures such as this.
sunnygir1 is offline  
#18 of 40 Old 03-12-2008, 03:43 PM
 
DoomaYula's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 5,147
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I never cover. While I was pregnant, I thought I might want to once in a while, but as soon as the baby was born I never felt like covering. I was given a hooter-hider type thingy and I tried using it a few times and it was incredibly annoying. Trying to put it around me and over dd and latch her on and everything = me being spastic and drawing way more attention to myself than just popping out a boob.

treehugger.gif Erika
mom of twins.gif (8)  blahblah.gif(5) thumbsuck.gif (3) and baby.gif born at home on Christmas day! 
DoomaYula is offline  
#19 of 40 Old 03-12-2008, 03:55 PM
 
Julia'sMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,431
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I do coverup in public. Most of the time it seems to be at church or around a lot of our childless friends. I agree it's also to cover my stomach and now don't throw the blanket over my shoulder but just wrap around her to be a little discreet. DD now brings me the blanket when she wants to nurse. It just makes it more comfortable for those around me and hence for me. When I don't cover, I tend to feel ostracized because people avoid me and act like I'm invisible, especially the in-laws. When needed I have nursed without covering, especially once I was experienced. I think it's personal preference.

J A with DD1 7/06, lost twins 9/08
DD2 12/09 & DS1 12/09
Julia'sMom is offline  
#20 of 40 Old 03-12-2008, 06:42 PM
 
sweetpea_119's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 121
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I never cover like most of the pp's...I really think it adds too much attention to something that should be mundane. I loathe the idea of the Hooter Hiders, myself, since I can't imagine something that sticks out & hangs around your neck while covered in polka-dots really does much for making NIP subtle...

For covering my fat midsection, I just wear a nursing tank under my t-shirts & my flab isn't hanging out...I actually feel worse showing that off than flashing a little extra boob when latching!
sweetpea_119 is offline  
#21 of 40 Old 03-12-2008, 08:16 PM
 
kelluna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Southeast Ohio
Posts: 69
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I had a sort of similar experience one of the first times I NIP; my mom was much more concerned about exposure than I was, though at least she didn't chastise my modesty! She just kept trying to cover me up with a blanket and it wasn't working because I was having difficulty staying latched. In retrospect it's funny, and I'm sure she caused much more attention than if I'd popped my boob out. I thought of it more as her issue than mine, and as I got more confident she relaxed too. I hardly ever cover up with a blanket, but I also have an Ergo carrier I often nurse DD in (at work, in meetings, all the time), which is pretty discreet. Seems like the beach at least would be one of those places where you wouldn't need to cover. Sounds like you have a good head about it, and three cheers for sis!
kelluna is offline  
#22 of 40 Old 03-12-2008, 08:59 PM
 
MotheringHeart's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: LactationNation
Posts: 1,178
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I very, very rarely cover up. The ONLY time I do is when we are at synagogue at services. When we are there for preschool functions, I don't. And sometimes I don't even cover up when I nurse during services. I do if I'm nursing in the sanctuary. I don't feel like I am immodest while I'm nursing. It's not as though I take off my top, undo my bra and sit topless while it is going on.

SAHM to four beautiful babes :
MotheringHeart is offline  
#23 of 40 Old 03-12-2008, 09:10 PM
 
lilgsmommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 2,990
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I tend to cover up alot in the first few weeks, while little one is figuring out how to stay latched on.....after that, I mainly just use a recieving blanket to get them on the boob, then use it to cover up my bare tummy.....I also prefer to nurse in my sling more often than not though....makes it much easier for me
lilgsmommy is offline  
#24 of 40 Old 03-13-2008, 10:53 AM
 
upnorthmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Ontario
Posts: 380
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I didn't ever cover with my first and don't plan to with this baby either. If people don't want to see my boobies then they shouldn't look at me!

Mama to one boy 12/98, one girl 5/08 and a new addition!!!! 2/23/11 Vincent Michael joy.gif
 
upnorthmama is offline  
#25 of 40 Old 03-13-2008, 11:01 AM
 
Cujobunny's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Toronto
Posts: 2,430
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by jacquelinej11 View Post
How often do you cover up?
Never.

Amanda - wife to DH Kellyjog.gif, Mummers to Trentreading.gif born 03/03/05 Bridgetdust.gif born 08/08/07 and a IT'S A BOY! Kennedy babyboy.gifborn 02/20/11!
Cujobunny is offline  
#26 of 40 Old 03-13-2008, 02:00 PM
 
becoming's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 11,886
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't cover up in public (my LO won't tolerate it) and especially wouldn't on the BEACH! Your mom sounds like she has a stick up her butt.
becoming is offline  
#27 of 40 Old 03-13-2008, 10:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
jacquelinej11's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 165
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by becoming View Post
Your mom sounds like she has a stick up her butt.
I wish that was the case then I could just pull it out
jacquelinej11 is offline  
#28 of 40 Old 03-14-2008, 12:00 AM
 
MiaMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 296
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hawaii has excellent breastfeeding laws and many of the people who live there love babies. My daughter was born in Hawaii and I just wore stretchy tank-tops and pulled them down to nurse her. After the first few weeks, I just popped them out anywhere, anytime. On the beach, hiking down Kilauea, in the airport. No one ever said anything to me about it.

Have you seen the surfer boys who walk around with their swim trunks so low you can see two inches of their buttcracks and even a few pubes? THEY don't care if you nurse. LOL
MiaMama is offline  
#29 of 40 Old 03-14-2008, 12:08 AM
 
cdmommie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: TX
Posts: 673
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I never cover up. My mom has tried to cover me a couple times also and I just remind her that feeding my child is nothing to be ashamed of.

-T, Wife and Best Friend to R 3/2005; Mommie to E 8/2007; and G 3/2009

cdmommie is offline  
#30 of 40 Old 03-14-2008, 02:06 PM
 
sunnygir1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 2,260
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Dd and I went to town with my mama yesterday to run some errands. While she was at the bank, I walked to the food coop with dd. When I got back, mama was nowhere to be found, and her car was still in the parking lot...locked. I put my groceries on her trunk and went into the bank to look for her. I didn't see her, so dd and I hung out in the parking lot.

I nursed dd sitting on a tire full of cement holding a sign in the parking lot. My back, belly were showing and everything. Ya know, when they need to eat, they need to eat! It was a little drafty, but I just figure I wasn't showing anything a bikini or halter top wouldn't show...as long as dd kept my nipple in her mouth! :

Mama eventually turned up from a different part of the bank and let us in the car.
sunnygir1 is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off