breastfeeding to sleep- holding my nipple hostage! - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 27 Old 08-28-2008, 02:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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nevermind...
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#2 of 27 Old 08-28-2008, 03:25 PM
 
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was your hostage released?

Hope you got everything worked out!

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#3 of 27 Old 08-28-2008, 03:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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No, not released. The hostage situation is destroying my family. It is not healthy for mom to be stuck sitting in a chair for hours at a time when other members of the family (particularily the 2 year old) needs attention and mommy able to get up from the chair.

I said nevermind b/c I didnt feel like hearing it is normal behavior and I need to just deal with it until he outgrows it. Breastfeeding is destroying my family. Not just inconveniencing me.

How I wish he would take a pacifier...
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#4 of 27 Old 08-28-2008, 04:17 PM
 
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Mama, have you tried reading the book No-Cry Sleep Solution. Pantley has a technique in there that helped me release my hostage nipple.

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#5 of 27 Old 08-28-2008, 04:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have read that book about the pantly pull off method. Sadly, he just wails when I try that. I am at a loss of what to do. He is cranking all day b/c I refuse to let him sleep on my lap and hold my nipple hostage. I don't mind doing that with a newborn while they transition to their new world. But it has been 9 months. My dd needs her mother back. She has been throwing huge tantrums when I tell her I have to either feed the baby or put him for a nap. It is so unfair to her.
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#6 of 27 Old 08-28-2008, 04:23 PM
 
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I wonder how many womens nipples are held hostage every year and why there has been no report by CNN.....:


poor mama....i feel like my breasts are being held hostage too but considering the little man is 3 weeeks...i will survive

seriously hugs mama i was lucky not to go through that when kids were older so dont know what to suggest. am typing 1 handed ...........guess why
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#7 of 27 Old 08-28-2008, 04:23 PM
 
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No, not released. The hostage situation is destroying my family. It is not healthy for mom to be stuck sitting in a chair for hours at a time when other members of the family (particularily the 2 year old) needs attention and mommy able to get up from the chair.

I said nevermind b/c I didnt feel like hearing it is normal behavior and I need to just deal with it until he outgrows it. Breastfeeding is destroying my family. Not just inconveniencing me.

How I wish he would take a pacifier...
I'm sorry mama. I didn't mean to make light of your situation. to you. I would agree with PP, have you tried the "Pantly pull off" method? It really helped me. Also, when you put him down for a nap, can you maybe breastfeed to sleep in your bed? That way he is laying down and comfortable then you can "try" to remove your nipple and sneak away. My DS is a light sleeper, so I was never able to nurse him to sleep in a chair then transfer to a bed/ crib, etc. I started putting him down for naps in my bed and it has made such a difference. Easier to sneak away because you aren't having to rustle him around. I am sure that you have thought of this but is there anyway to nurse to sleep in a sling? So that you can be up and moving around and not tied to a chair? Just some ideas for you.

It may be normal behavior, but I can completely relate to the hostage feeling. again,

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#8 of 27 Old 08-28-2008, 04:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am successful in nursing him to sleep in bed. But he wakes in 15 minutes very angry that I am not with him. He won't let me go again if I lay down with him again. DD hates when I do this, too. He won't nurse in a sling. How I wish he would. He only nurses in bed, or on a certain chair with a boppy. He is quite particular.

He is a very light sleeper. There is no transferring him. How I wish I could sneak away from the bed and pop a pacifier in his mouth but he gets angry that I would attempt doing such an awful thing to him.

It is strange... He is not a comfort nurser except while sleeping. He can go 2-3 hours between feedings just fine and not need to nurse for comfort. But sleep = boob to him. There is no sleep without the boob.
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#9 of 27 Old 08-28-2008, 04:38 PM
 
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I understand mama. Believe me, I do. For the first year of my DS's life, I had to hold him for two 1.5 hour naps a day. He would not sleep alone at all. Then around 14 months old, something just clicked for him. I put him down to sleep in our bed with the lights low and the fan on high and he was out for two hours. Bliss. It will get better. I know that it isn't a comfort now, but sometimes it helps to know that someone has been there.

How many naps does he take a day? Anyway you can play around with the times/ length to see if you can get a longer strech when he lies in bed?

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#10 of 27 Old 08-28-2008, 04:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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That gives me some comfort. 14 months old is only 5 months from now. This is just totally turning our lives upside down. DD gets no real attention. I need to go back to work night shift. He will drink EBM from an open cup or open adult plastic water bottle and eats solids so nutrition won't be an issue. It is the sleep issue. He needs to learn to sleep without a nipple in his mouth so my dh can put him to bed and I can work. We are going to be in the poor house b/c he won't sleep without a nipple in his mouth!
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#11 of 27 Old 08-28-2008, 05:20 PM
 
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Have you tried combining pantley pull off with a pacifier? When DD was at the height of her allergies before we realized it was the BM itself, that was the only way I didn't lose my ever loving mind!! I found that sometimes (not always, but often enough to keep me slightly more sane) I could slip her off while slipping in the bink and she'd suck that until she was really done and it could slip out without protest where I couldn't slip my own nip out. Its worth a shot, but know that I understand and feel for you. I wish I had a better suggestion.
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#12 of 27 Old 08-28-2008, 07:41 PM
 
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Have you tried putting him to sleep in a completely different way? At 4 months, DS stopped nursing down for naps 90% of the time, and he's not a kid who can miss a nap. We started "patting" him out in bed. He starts off crying every time, but we are right there with him and he soon settles down. Even if you don't do this for you during the day, it may work for your DH. (Mine was in heaven once he could help with the naps).

: I know it's got to be really hard. Hats off to you mama!

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#13 of 27 Old 08-28-2008, 08:56 PM
 
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My son "clicked" at around 9 months, and he was at its worst right before then... It WILL get better!
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#14 of 27 Old 08-28-2008, 08:56 PM
 
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Have you tried putting him to sleep in a completely different way? At 4 months, DS stopped nursing down for naps 90% of the time, and he's not a kid who can miss a nap. We started "patting" him out in bed. He starts off crying every time, but we are right there with him and he soon settles down. Even if you don't do this for you during the day, it may work for your DH. (Mine was in heaven once he could help with the naps).

: I know it's got to be really hard. Hats off to you mama!
This is a good point too. Anyway you could try not nursing to sleep but rocking/ patting/ walking to sleep instead?

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#15 of 27 Old 08-28-2008, 11:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My son "clicked" at around 9 months, and he was at its worst right before then... It WILL get better!

Thank you for sharing!
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#16 of 27 Old 08-28-2008, 11:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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He will fall asleep in the car for me and sleep great, until the car stops. He will fall asleep in the stroller and sleep great, until the stroller stops. (I tried bringing it inside.) I tried walking and dancing with him. If he is in arms, he knows the boob is available. He fell asleep for my dh a few times in his life, but he knew the boob wasn't available. I wish my dh was here during the day to put him for naps! Rocking is a no go as well. My dd has a large ball. Maybe I will try bouncing on that tomorrow. Thank you for idea's.
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#17 of 27 Old 08-28-2008, 11:19 PM
 
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How would he take to being in a back carrier? Like a mei tei? You think he'd at least be calm in there even if he didn't fall asleep??

Stay-at-home mom to 2 beautiful.busy.boisterous boys b. 08.17.05 & 12.29.08
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#18 of 27 Old 08-28-2008, 11:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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How would he take to being in a back carrier? Like a mei tei? You think he'd at least be calm in there even if he didn't fall asleep??
He will stay in a carrier until he gets tired, then he starts arching and trying to wiggle his way out.

He does go to sleep easier if I wear him first, though. It relaxes him to a certain point, but then he wants his boob.
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#19 of 27 Old 08-29-2008, 12:56 AM
 
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I know they are not everyones cup of tea, but have you tried a swing? Ours is a life saver when DH is away for a few days and i need to shower or something. Maybe that might mimic the movement of a pram a bit more?

Hugs, my little one isnt as hard as yours during the day, she doesnt need the nipple to sleep but she needs to be held while she naps and she comfort nurses when she is awake. It is so hard to function sometimes, and i only have the one.
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#20 of 27 Old 08-29-2008, 01:02 AM
 
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I'm sorry honey! That certainly doesn't sound fun! Have you tried all different kind of pacifiers? Have you tried the gumdrop binkie? That was the only one that my DS would take. It is shaped for breastfed babies. HTH!

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#21 of 27 Old 08-29-2008, 08:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I have tried the swing. I have nothing against them. It actually used to work pretty well up until about 6 months old. I used to have him sleep in it at night for his first 2-3 hour stretch. Sometimes he will still sleep in it, but not more than 15 minutes anymore. This kid is too smart for me. I outsmart him, and he catches on. : I have not heard of the gumdrop binkie. I am not sure that would work at his age, but it is worth a try.
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#22 of 27 Old 08-29-2008, 12:34 PM
 
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I skimmed the rest of the posts since my DD wants to be put to sleep and is fussing, but DD is just as bad (especially this week!) about being put to sleep. She also will NOT take a pacifier under any circumstances, though I have gotten some nice hickeys from her sucking on my arm. She will also take my pinky finger occasionally.

What works for us sometimes is that I put a shirt that I have worn down on the bed and then nurse her to sleep on it and then sneak away. She thinks I'm still there because she smells "me" and if she sleeps on her stomach (she rolls over on her own) then she will sleep even longer.

I am totally with you with the kids catching on though - I'm constantly having to change up the routine because she figures it out - and no rotating, either, she remembers how I fooled her in the past! Scares me to think what she will be like in a year...

Hope some of these suggestions work for you!

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#23 of 27 Old 08-29-2008, 12:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I skimmed the rest of the posts since my DD wants to be put to sleep and is fussing, but DD is just as bad (especially this week!) about being put to sleep. She also will NOT take a pacifier under any circumstances, though I have gotten some nice hickeys from her sucking on my arm. She will also take my pinky finger occasionally.

What works for us sometimes is that I put a shirt that I have worn down on the bed and then nurse her to sleep on it and then sneak away. She thinks I'm still there because she smells "me" and if she sleeps on her stomach (she rolls over on her own) then she will sleep even longer.

I am totally with you with the kids catching on though - I'm constantly having to change up the routine because she figures it out - and no rotating, either, she remembers how I fooled her in the past! Scares me to think what she will be like in a year...

Hope some of these suggestions work for you!
Thank you for that idea of putting a shirt down. We shall see if he goes for that.
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#24 of 27 Old 08-29-2008, 02:29 PM
 
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I skimmed the rest of the posts since my DD wants to be put to sleep and is fussing, but DD is just as bad (especially this week!) about being put to sleep. She also will NOT take a pacifier under any circumstances, though I have gotten some nice hickeys from her sucking on my arm. She will also take my pinky finger occasionally.

What works for us sometimes is that I put a shirt that I have worn down on the bed and then nurse her to sleep on it and then sneak away. She thinks I'm still there because she smells "me" and if she sleeps on her stomach (she rolls over on her own) then she will sleep even longer.

I am totally with you with the kids catching on though - I'm constantly having to change up the routine because she figures it out - and no rotating, either, she remembers how I fooled her in the past! Scares me to think what she will be like in a year...

Hope some of these suggestions work for you!
That's a good idea! You could also try warming the bed up with a heating pad (obviously, remove it before laying him down). Maybe that would trick him to thinking there is a warm body there?

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#25 of 27 Old 08-29-2008, 04:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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That's a good idea! You could also try warming the bed up with a heating pad (obviously, remove it before laying him down). Maybe that would trick him to thinking there is a warm body there?
I like that idea!!!

I bribed my dd into taking a nap with me and the baby today. (I told her I would play princess fairy with her when we got up, now I have to hold up my end of the bargin since she is still sleeping.) So today, things are ok. DS just ate and voluntarily rolled over and went back to sleep so I snuck out. I bet he is up within 5 minutes... DD is also still sleeping. Must go find magic wand now... If I could only bribe dd into napping all together everyday it would only be a nighttime issue of a 5 hour period then...
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#26 of 27 Old 08-29-2008, 04:35 PM
 
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Hey Gooey! How is it going today? I just read the entire thread and I have to say I was stuck in your situation with my first daughter (fortunately I did not have any other kids so total attention on her) and I was held hostage on the couch for HOURS while she slept and I had to sleep with her at night, on the couch, with my boob in her mouth the WHOLE night What finally worked was a binkie, which I know you said does not work for you. I just wanted to send you some HUGE HUGS and I understand how frustrating it can be What is nighttime like for you? I know you mentioned something about five hours at night? I just feel really badly for you...I am just so sorry. I hope things are ok for you today. PM me if you ever wanna chat hon.
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#27 of 27 Old 08-29-2008, 04:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey Gooey! How is it going today? I just read the entire thread and I have to say I was stuck in your situation with my first daughter (fortunately I did not have any other kids so total attention on her) and I was held hostage on the couch for HOURS while she slept and I had to sleep with her at night, on the couch, with my boob in her mouth the WHOLE night What finally worked was a binkie, which I know you said does not work for you. I just wanted to send you some HUGE HUGS and I understand how frustrating it can be What is nighttime like for you? I know you mentioned something about five hours at night? I just feel really badly for you...I am just so sorry. I hope things are ok for you today. PM me if you ever wanna chat hon.
If we could fix the day time problem, the night time problem would only be twice a week. I want/need to go back to work 7-pm-12am twice a week. It would be enough money. He goes to bed around 9pm (he would miss one-2 feedings, but like I said, he will drink from an open cup or open adult water bottle and he likes solid food) so it would only really be 3 hours that he could not be a nipple bandit. DH would have him, and he would most likely go to sleep for dh in arms. DH would have to sit and hold him, but he could do that after the older one is in bed.

I am feeling so bad for my older child. When is she going to get her mommy back? I feel like I spend so much of the day sitting with the baby latched on. She wants me mobile! It feels so unfair to her. It has been 9 months already. I know that having a sibling means change, but it should not be THIS much change. When I say I am putting the baby to sleep she starts screaming NO!!! and whining. She knows she won't get mommy to play with her.
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