Weird neighbor touched my belly! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 16 Old 10-22-2004, 10:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I just didn't know what to do, he ran over and said "let's see" then placed his hand on my belly. I suppose it's all pretty innocent but I just think its odd that I should be suddenly ok with a man, whom I barely know, putting his hands on my body! It made me feel really sick afterwards, like getting your butt pinched in a bar, or having the airport security guard "almost" feel you up! Yuk. Violating.

Anyone else have this happen? What do you do? Should I expect more of this as I really begin to show?
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#2 of 16 Old 10-22-2004, 11:25 PM
 
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Ew! I hate that people seem to suddenly think you're free game or something. My MIL came up to me about a month ago and put her hand on me - far above my belly button, so I hope she enjoyed touching my stomach. :LOL Our neighbour (male) asked me if our having a homebirth meant dh was going to catch. Which is, I think, really none of his business? But, yeah. People will touch you, tell you things you don't want to hear, ask questions you don't want to answer... It's crazy.

Kash, homeschooling mommy to Gillian (8/5/00) and Jacob (3/23/05)
and Brigid Eleanor (11/20/08)
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#3 of 16 Old 10-23-2004, 10:48 AM
 
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I dont remember people touching me with DD#1- and no one so far has been putting hands on me- however, I dont think I would really care. Maybe it was some creapy man, but really even a little old lady at the super markert would be fine, people just get so gitty over a new life they cant help themselves! I would go touch every preggo belly I saw, but I dont want to get smacked with preggo hormones! I stay clear unless it is my sister or something like that!

[B][I]~Ang~ Mom to 2 sport-head crazy girls: Rainey and Breeze  and my little lost love- @18 weeks with gestational age of 7 weeks
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#4 of 16 Old 10-23-2004, 11:32 AM
 
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I'm a pretty touchy-feely person so I don't mind being touched all that much......and I do admit I want to touch preggo bellies too!!! But I always ask if it is okay first.
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#5 of 16 Old 10-23-2004, 01:35 PM
 
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Yeah, me too -- the touching-the-belly-thing has never bothered me. It's never happened in a way that made me uncomfortable, though. I too like to touch pregnant bellies, but I always ask first. I just keep finding it miraculous that there's a baby in there! Once I was told no, and that didn't bother me in the slightest -- people are different. I find it interesting that people have a wide variety of feelings regarding something like this.
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#6 of 16 Old 10-23-2004, 03:29 PM
 
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I always figured my antipathy to the idea has its roots in the fact that I don't like anything touching my stomach, period. I hate maternity clothes because the waistband comes over my stomach. I hate anything but bikini panties because of the waistband. *shudder* I can't even stand dh touching my belly, pg or not. Luckily, no one tries to touch my belly when I'm not pg.

Kash, homeschooling mommy to Gillian (8/5/00) and Jacob (3/23/05)
and Brigid Eleanor (11/20/08)
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#7 of 16 Old 10-23-2004, 06:49 PM
 
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The only thing I don't like so far is the molesting that every feels is appropriate!
I wish I had some advice, but every time something like that happens to me it comes on too fast for me to react before its too late.
DH's grandma is the worst! She instroduced me once as "this is my granddaughter in law. She's pregnant. Here, touch her belly"! I was only 12 weeks! There was nothing to touch! And then she pinched my rear at a wedding. AAAAHHHHH!
OK, she really is a sweet lady who, I think, is possibly suffering the early stages of dementia. And I have personal space issues, always have.
The only thing that I have found so far that works for prevention is to wear gigantic tent like clothing. If I wear really big stuff, no one knows I'm PG and they keep their hands to themselves.
That said, I have to go put on a form-fitting dress to go to a wedding where I will likely be man handled by half of metro Detroit.

Mom to Owen (03/05), Mary (07/07) and Joseph (06/10).
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#8 of 16 Old 10-23-2004, 10:16 PM
 
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Ditto on the personal space issues. No one really touched my belly during either of my previous pregnancies. I must have had the "touch me and I'll bite you" look on my face. Hooray, it worked! :LOL I do not like having my belly touched by anyone other than my husband or kids. I don't know, I feel the same way about babies...never touch unless specifically invited to do so.

Dee, mama to Robin , Wren , Finch and baby Lark born 12/27!
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#9 of 16 Old 10-23-2004, 11:07 PM
 
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I just had my belly touched for the first time, but the funny thing is that she asked if it was okay AFTER she touched it....luckily with her, it was.

Mama to DS 3/05 and DD 1/08
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#10 of 16 Old 10-25-2004, 09:04 AM
 
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DH stupidly mentioned to his grandma at dinner alst night that the baby can now hear. So she had me stand up, in the middle of the crowded restaurant, and she spoke very loudly to my stomach ("Hellooo Baby! This is your great Granny!!!).
I busted out laughing. Why hasn't this stuff been included in a movie yet???

Mom to Owen (03/05), Mary (07/07) and Joseph (06/10).
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#11 of 16 Old 10-25-2004, 11:55 AM
 
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I hate it when people I don't know really well touch me. I watch for people who look like they're about to do this and stop them ahead of time. Every now and then they sneak up on me though. haha Weather I stop them or not, I usually ask them "If I wasn't pregnant, would you come up to me in the mall/grocery/church and rub my belly?" That makes it pretty clear.
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#12 of 16 Old 10-25-2004, 06:32 PM
 
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i haven't had my belly touched by anyone except dh and 1 close male friend who i was hugging goodbye yesterday, so he was already in my body space and i didn't mind. but just reading about everyone doing that and drawing attention to it creeps me out. now that i'm pregnant, my privacy needs are really high. i get shy/embarrasses/self-conscious at the drop of a hat!

luckily, dh has decided to not tell his family until after thanksgiving, and we'll only see them at solstice/xmas for a couple days, before we birth in march/apr. so that won't be too much time to deal...oh, and sil who'll be at solstice/xmas is due with the 1st girl in the family on new year's, so we're hoping the attn won't be on me as much--less touching me, i hope!!

Waldorf homeschooling homesteading homebirthing mama to my 2 boys '05 & '10 joy.gif & most amazing wife to my most amazing dh
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#13 of 16 Old 10-27-2004, 01:01 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cholderby
The only thing I don't like so far is the molesting that every feels is appropriate!
I wish I had some advice, but every time something like that happens to me it comes on too fast for me to react before its too late.
DH's grandma is the worst! She instroduced me once as "this is my granddaughter in law. She's pregnant. Here, touch her belly"! I was only 12 weeks! There was nothing to touch! And then she pinched my rear at a wedding. AAAAHHHHH!
OK, she really is a sweet lady who, I think, is possibly suffering the early stages of dementia. And I have personal space issues, always have.
The only thing that I have found so far that works for prevention is to wear gigantic tent like clothing. If I wear really big stuff, no one knows I'm PG and they keep their hands to themselves.
That said, I have to go put on a form-fitting dress to go to a wedding where I will likely be man handled by half of metro Detroit.

Funny you mentioned the clothes! I wear from fitting clothes all the time and REFUSE to wear tents and people resist the urge to touch my bell all the time. They look at it with wide eyes, then you can see them holding back! :LOL
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#14 of 16 Old 11-06-2004, 01:54 PM
 
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Hello Ladies! I am late joining the due date club- I was afraid I wouldnt be able to keep up!
This is my 3rd babe- so I have had it almost all {comments, touching}!

My suggestion re: touching? TOUCH BACK! I had a hair dresser {not mine... 3 chairs over} come up to me and rub my belly like it was cold and it needed warming and said "so, what is it a girl or a boy...?", my eyes almost popped out of my head, and I immediately rubbed her belly back the same way and said "So what do you have in there? what did you have for lunch?" She stepped back, thought for a second, and apologized saying she realized it was rude.

Enjoy your pg! HAve fun- and MOST of ALL> dont take any crap!
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#15 of 16 Old 11-06-2004, 02:01 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Patchfire
Ew! I hate that people seem to suddenly think you're free game or something. My MIL came up to me about a month ago and put her hand on me - far above my belly button, so I hope she enjoyed touching my stomach. :LOL Our neighbour (male) asked me if our having a homebirth meant dh was going to catch. Which is, I think, really none of his business? But, yeah. People will touch you, tell you things you don't want to hear, ask questions you don't want to answer... It's crazy.

People would touch me all the time. I didn't like it either, but I think asking questions about homebirth is a good thing. It gives you the opportunity to teach that homebirth is natural, etc. I remember when my ex's friend asked me if I was going to give birth on the kitchen table and if I needed to buy stirrups. Unfortunately, I ended up at the hospital. But it did give me a chance to educate someone on homebirth.
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#16 of 16 Old 11-09-2004, 03:11 PM
 
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I agree with the PP - touch their tummies back. It always work
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