my boss just guessed!!!!! - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 6 Old 09-15-2004, 03:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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ACK!

I'm not quite 10 weeks along yet...but already showing quite a bit as I've indicated...and I was really hoping to get through at least until next week (and probably later!)because we are in the middle of negotiating new files and I didn't want my happy state to prejudice anyone's decision making. But she guessed...I had been sick last week...and she knew that we were trying b/c she had known about our earlier m/c....another friend of mine who I hadn't seen in 2 months guessed last night too.. she just said, well I kind of wondered, you looked rounder! ACK! I made my boss promise to not let the cat out of the bag and I don't think she will... BUT she's a terrible gossip & not very good at respecting personal boundaries.... this is one of the reasons that I was hoping for new files, so I wouldn't have to work with her for the next 6 months!! ACK!


What should I do? I'm wondering if I should just spill to my potential new supervisor and to the rest of the division, but I'm still a bit worried about m/c and I don't want to have to tell the whole group about that too!

HELP!!
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#2 of 6 Old 09-15-2004, 06:52 PM
 
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Eek! No way!

I wouldn't tell anybody still. Even if she gossips, I think it's better to wait and make the announcement according to your own timing and emphasize that you waited to tell until you felt like you were out of the risky window. Really-- let people whisper, if they must, but still take your moment and announce it like it's *your* news to announce, which (of course) it is.

But, eek! Again! You really must be showing! (Soooo cool!)
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#3 of 6 Old 09-16-2004, 08:15 AM
 
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Sounds like ya got that rosy glow Jesse!

I agree about waiting to tell on your own terms and timeline. But it might give you a tremendous amount of relief to spill the beans, too. It sounds like you are stressing big time about keeping it a secret....maybe it's time. Keep us posted!
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#4 of 6 Old 09-16-2004, 03:27 PM
 
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I agree 100% with Stream. You have to wait until you are ready and everyone should respect that. The general rule is to wait until after the end of the first trimester, when miscarriage risk is lower. I had to start wearing maternity pants so I can only keep it a secret so much (really big shirts are a good thing), but I'm not telling anyone who I don't have to/want to at this point. So far, no one has been rude enough to ask. Having to explain to co-workers about a MC has to be horribly uncomfortable and is reason enough to keep it secret a while longer. Personally, I'm a bit superstitious about telling anyone - afraid it will jinx things (that's why I haven't been able to buy a twins stroller yet, afraid then something will happen to one of them and I'll have a twins stroller and no twins. 2 Do what you know in your heart is right for you.
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#5 of 6 Old 09-17-2004, 09:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks so much for your kind & helpful replies, Stream, Naomi & esqueue. My boss seems to have kept the news to herself and I have been assigned some of the files I wanted so it all seems to have blown over temporarily. I think I will keep the news to myself for at least another week, until our last u/s when I am feeling more sure about everything (and hopefully starting to feel better!). In any case, it looks as though we may be going on strike very soon, so the news may be delayed even further....

(off topic-esqueue, Grommit is a GREAT name for a dog!)

Thanks alot to all of you for reminding me that this is MY business & even if rumours are flying, I still get to decide when & how to break the news. I think that makes me feel better about the fact that even if I am showing a bit, I can still decide!)

thanks again!
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#6 of 6 Old 09-17-2004, 04:21 PM
 
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Thanks Jesse, but the breeder named Grommit so I can't take credit for it. He's named after Gromit from the Wallace and Gromit films, I just changed the spelling to be grammatically correct for the pronunciation. He's a great dog too, really lives up to a cool name.
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