Anyone else weaning their toddlers in response to this pregnancy? - Mothering Forums
April 2005 > Anyone else weaning their toddlers in response to this pregnancy?
goodcents's Avatar goodcents 11:49 PM 09-21-2004
Hi All,
Let me preface this by saying I always planned to wean my dd by 24 months. It isn't set in stone, as their are differing opinions, but there is a belief in Islam that says a child should breastfeed for two years.

We did say we were going to start weaning her (which we have been doing very very slowly since the spring) in October for full weaning by December, her 2nd birthday.

However, my breasts have been so sensitive and her latch so strong that I just couldn't deal anymore. It really wasn't a pleasant experience for me (it was a bit painful) and of course that in turn I am sure interferred with her experience.

Bottom line is she only had the "boobie" once since Sunday and I AM SOOOO SAD!! I don't think I will ever be ready to wean her! She doesn't seem to bothered, not really asking for it etc.

I actually snuck one "last one" in behind dh's back this morning. Our last nursing experience on Sunday was one of the "bad ones" and I didn't want that to be my last memory. So this morning, just like when she was a newborn, we climbed onto the couch while the rest of the house was still and had a quiet nursing. It was so sweet but boy IT HURTS!!

Thanks for listening!


sarasprings's Avatar sarasprings 08:41 AM 09-22-2004
We are weaning, too. But not just because of the new baby. It just feels like the right time (to me). Partly, it is very selfish because eventhough I love it, I'm not sure that I want to be doing it for more than 2 1/2 - 3 years for the next one. I have my son down to a couple minutes before nap and bed time, then twice in the morning (4ish, then 6ish). He loves it, though, and doesn't want to give it up completely (although it wasn't too, too bad getting him to this point). He may drinking milk at these times for the next year. My mw said that at 16 weeks my milk should turn salty, although I'm not sure that will be a deterent. I'm lucky that my "milk" haven't been sore, etc, which I take as a sign that he may be meant to continue bf.

I'm sorry it physically hurts so much. That's got to be really painful. I don't know what to say about missing it. I think I will, too, when the time comes, but if your daughter is okay with it, then you've done a great job helping her feel secure and that she's okay without it.
mrzmeg's Avatar mrzmeg 01:05 PM 09-22-2004
We are slowly cutting back and I hope to be pretty much weaned by the time my milk will likely dry up in a couple of months. I am also Muslim and planned to make it to two years, but not much further.
I am limiting his daytime nursing and he's been falling asleep after only a short nursing at night (totally new---until this point in his life, he had to suck all the way to sleep). When he wakes at night, though, he has to nurse to get back to sleep, so that's the only real issue we have right now. I've been trying other soothers, but they aren't working so far.
I'm sorry it's so difficult---have you read 'Wean Me Gently'? Makes me tear up every time!
Qerratsmom's Avatar Qerratsmom 03:16 PM 09-22-2004
I have mixed feelings about weaning my 2 year old but sometimes lately I just get so irritated when he wants to nurse at night (he still nurses down at naps, bedtime and 3 to 4 times a night for somewhat brief periods). I've been having bad morning sickness and pain with nursing. i don't want our breastfeeding experiences to turn sour but I don't know how much longer I can handle nursing. I am terrified that I wont' be able to handle the physical and emotional demands of tandem nursing. Does anyone have any suggestions for weaning a child that is not really ready and make it a positive experience?
MyCalling's Avatar MyCalling 05:41 PM 09-22-2004
The milk will change to colostrum between 4 and 7 months for most women, but some don't change at all. You will always have something in there for the child to nurse. It is painful and I endured it (it got less painful about halfway through) last pregnancy, but this time I am having twins so I'm not sure I'll have the extra nutrition to share for much longer.

Plus I don't really want to endure the pain but will see how things go. I'm not really forcing him off and I know he won't wean himself. As long as I keep gaining weight and the twins keep growing well, then I guess I'll stick it out for a while longer but plan to wean at least a couple of months before they are born so I don't have three nursing.
J-Max's Avatar J-Max 09:00 PM 09-22-2004
I am 12 weeks along and have a 13 month old. Untill about a month ago, she nursed about 10-15 times/day (she loves her nursies). She is now down to about 4-6 times/day. She has started sleeping through the night, for the most part, so that has cut down on several night time nursing. She now mostly nurses for comfort and will often stop after a few minutes and tell me that the milk is "all gone" . I won't try and wean her, but it looks like she might wean herself. I am unsure about tamdem nursing, but have been reading up on it and talking to my mom her tandem nursed 2 of my sisters. I would feel very sad if she weaned all the way.
natashaccat's Avatar natashaccat 07:13 PM 09-27-2004
I weaned my 25 mo when the morning sickness hit. It was really easy though because she only asking once a day (when I got home from work) was heading toward self weaning anyway.
goodcents's Avatar goodcents 11:39 PM 09-27-2004
So far so good, baby has gone about a week without the "boobie". Nursing was hurting physically, but in my original post when I wrote in caps MAN IT HURTS! I was referring to the emotional pain I was feeling from weaning her. I am doing a bit better with it, and she has asked a few times, but I still feel a little itty bit sad
BlueStateMama's Avatar BlueStateMama 10:27 PM 10-02-2004
I'm really lucky in that I've had no pain or discomfort nursing DS (14 months) He's only nursing about 3-4 times a day and he pretty much night weaned himself (although he's been inexplicably waking up the last few nights to nurse - first time in months ) I'm not sure what I'm going to do if/when my milk goes. I'm trying to play it by ear, but I honestly don't know if I want to tandem. I'm taking it week by week for now, but we'll see!!

Hugs to you Justine, I have mixed feelings about the end of our nursing relationship (when it comes) - I know I'm going to be sad, so I can imagine what you're feeling!!!
mrzmeg's Avatar mrzmeg 08:16 AM 10-03-2004
We're down to nursing at naptime and maybe a couple of times randomly spaced throughout the day. He's nearly nightweaned---he hasn't nursed at bedtime in over a week! Friday night he slept completely through the night for the first time in his life (11 hrs) ! He did wake up once tonight, but not til 4am---nursed for 5 minutes, then was fast asleep.
Oh, it's nice to sleep well! I'm really glad to see that this thread is supportive of gentle weaning...sometimes these can get somewhat nasty.

A tiny bit OT---but I had my first midwife appt a bit more than a week ago and saw a mw at the practice I don't know so well. She said that it is best to wean by 36 weeks so that I'll have plenty of colostrum saved up for the baby. Is that true? I mean, doesn't colostrum replenish itself like breastmilk? I wasn't sure if she was right or completely off on her bf knowledge.
Lula's Mom's Avatar Lula's Mom 12:06 PM 10-03-2004
I'm not in your due date club but I saw your post. What a silly thing for that mw to say. You don't have to "save up" your colostrum! Some women start making it months in advance; others don't have any until the baby is born. But in either case it will be there when it's needed by the newborn.

I'm 30 weeks and nursing my 3-year-old through this pregnancy. She nurses a LOT because she loves the colostrum. There isn't nearly as much of it as there will be breastmilk, but it replenishes. She'll nurse all day, and in the evening, tell me that the colostrum is all gone (not that she is discouraged) :LOL But there's always more in the morning.

When the baby is born, s/he will nurse each time before Lula does until my milk comes in, because I do want to make sure s/he gets enough. After the milk bar is open, I expect I'll nurse them both at the same time.
LiminalOne's Avatar LiminalOne 12:12 PM 10-03-2004
It's interesting to me that most of you seem to be easily weaning your 2 yos when my 3 1/4 yo shows no sign of slowing down.....

I don't feel like I have a lot of energy to wean him from this very important activity (for sleep and comfort), but maybe in a few weeks I'll be feeling differently.

For awhile I was feeling incredibly depleted especially since he has some food allergies (gluten and dairy) that were making it hard for me to eat, but I'm not feeling desperate anymore (though eating a bagel with cream cheese would send me to nirvana). I'm seeing a naturopath that we might use as a homebirth midwife on Tuesday to talk about nutrition......

Best to all
mrzmeg's Avatar mrzmeg 12:25 PM 10-03-2004
She'll nurse all day, and in the evening, tell me that the colostrum is all gone (not that she is discouraged) But there's always more in the morning.
Thanks for reassuring me! I thought she sounded off her rocker too, but it's so easy to get worried about stuff like that when you're preggo. Very good to know! I'm glad that I like the other two midwives much better...
Mizelenius's Avatar Mizelenius 02:08 AM 10-07-2004
Justine, I was having a lot of spotting once PPAF returned. I'll never figure out the cause, but I did many things to try and treat it (in order to TTC). One of the things I did was to wean my then-28 month DD.

I was really unsure before weaning-- it just seemed so sad, so final, like she wasn't going to be my baby anymore. But, we did it and I have to say (that was about 3 months ago) it is completely fine now. DD did ask recently where my milk went, and I told her it'd dried up (it really has) and she said she wanted some and she'd work hard to get it! Other than that, I don't feel like anything has changed. DD is still my "baby," she still wants to be held and loved . . .I just do it a little differently now.

Best of luck on your decision, even though I'm sure it's a VERY hard one to make because of the pain!!! It's definitely bittersweet!
J-Max's Avatar J-Max 03:29 PM 10-11-2004
Well I think my baby has weaned :sad.

In the last 2 weeks she has nursed about 5 times and not at all since last tuesday. She was getting very frustrated because my milk was pretty much gone. She would try to nurse and then just cry and sign "all gone". She asked once on Friday, but I told her the nursies were all done and asked is she wanted some water and she was satisfied.

I am sad in some ways, I really wanted to nurse her untill she was 2, but I think it will be easier on my body to take a break and then have just one baby to nurse.

Anyone else have an update?
goodcents's Avatar goodcents 11:18 AM 10-13-2004
Hi All,
Didn't mean to be missing in action. We were away in Florida for a few days.

DD has completely weaned now. Every once and a while she tries to latch but she just giggles, smiles and knows now we don't nurse. She was definitely more cling-y so I have been enjoying all the extra hugs and kisses. I feel a bit better about it now, less emotional then before, I am not sure if I have grown accustomed to the idea - or if my PG hormones have died down!!!

Thanks for your kind words Elena - they are appreciated.

LiminalOne - all babies are different. The weaning time will come when the weaning time will come - which is its own blessing.
danaalex's Avatar danaalex 03:39 PM 10-14-2004
i didn't have to wean my girls when i got pg because they both weaned themselves within the first 3 mo of my pregnancies. my oldest DD pretty much just stopped, and started drinking soy milk from a cup. my DD#2 went down to 2-3 times a day and over a couple of weeks stopped nursing. my only idea of why was lack of supply? i figured if they were done, then we were done.
melixxa's Avatar melixxa 02:16 PM 10-15-2004
I'm glad I found this thread. I am currently grappling with the idea of weaning my 14-month-old. I'm six weeks pregnant today and had terrible, debilitating morning sickness with my last pregnancy. I know that it *could* start any day and last for the next four months. The idea of nursing through that is pretty scary.

I never planned on tandem nursing, but I also never planned on getting pregnant this year. And I had no plan about how long I would bf. Before I had my boy, I told myself I would make it to six months for his health. (I had some serious issues with the idea of breastfeeding - squeamishness, etc.) But bfing has been a breeze for us. It's been ober 14 months and he is still going pretty strong, especially at night: When he wakes up, it's the only way to get him back to sleep.

Will he self-wean? If not, I'm really torn about what to do.
wasabi's Avatar wasabi 05:17 PM 10-15-2004
I'm not planning to wean DD during this pg. I really really hope that she will wean herself. I know a lot of older toddlers will wean during the subsequent pg and I hope that's what will happen with us. So far she's not nursing any less during the day. She has moved into her big girl bed on the floor in our room and just like that started sleeping through the night which is great. Her nursing during the day are short but still frequent and I think my supply is starting to diminish a bit. She'll nurse for a bit then pull off and look at my breast accusingly and say no no then nurse some more. She really loves nursing though so trying to wean her would just be more traumatic for us than the gains. And I have the same opinion about the toddler taking your colostrum. I don't think that will happen either and I think back to when my midwife recommended pumping as a means of self-induction with DD. If that was going to take my colostrum then that wouldn't be recommended either would it?

I have a question on Islam and nursing. The recommendation is to nurse for two years but there's no prohibition on nursing longer than that is there?
galadriel's Avatar galadriel 09:06 PM 10-15-2004
I am nursing 18 month dd, offering frequently, because I don't want her to wean. I really really want to tandem nurse, and I'm not ready for her to wean (I don't think she is either).
nmccarroll's Avatar nmccarroll 12:17 AM 10-17-2004
I conceived when ds was 22 mo old, and still bf quite often. It hurt a lot to nurse once I was pregnant, and he self-weaned a couple of weeks after his 2nd birthday. I was initially relieved, but then very sad. I understand the grief!!

This spacing is exactly the same (I guess my body really likes it, since we spaced only by bf). dd is still nursing and shows no sign of slowing down, and it's stopped hurting over the last couple of weeks. She seems to nurse much more for comfort than ds did, so maybe she's not sucking any harder due to decrease in milk supply. Dunno. Anyway, I'm very content with the current state of affairs and plan to continue nursing as long as she's still interested. She has a very high sucking need (thumb in mouth pretty much all the time she's not bf or eating) and I imagine we'll end up tandem nursing this time around.

SAHM to Angus 3/3/00 and Annabel 9/23/02. EDD 4/15/05.
:bf :