and imatient. i am only fourteen weeks and it has already begun. i am laying awake at night thinking about the birth and looking forward to getting to know this new person. i cant wait. i am beside myself.
i guess it is partly influences such as the amazing homebirth slide show on the mothering homepage (you must go check it out if you havent already) but i remember this feeling with dd too. now i just wish it was april already. partly i cant imagine loving anyone as much as i love dd, i cant believe it is going to happen again. god and/or mother earth or whoever it is out there has been SO SO kind to allow this. i feel so grateful.
and i am looking forward to knowing wether i am having a boy or a girl. funny thing is, i have girl in my heart, as well as a boy. now this could change as time goes by, but i have a sense of who this child is, depending to some degree on gender. very clear names, too. a girl this time is going to be on the slender side, cuddly, very sweet, quieter, more reserved than dd, almost giving the appearance of frailty (but not necessarily truly frail). i had a very clear dream of holding her close to my chest when she is about the same age as dd is now. a boy is going to have slightly curly hair, that catches sunlight. he will have a very special special softness about his personality, and be like an ember in my heart, as well as having a glowing spirit. which will it be? will the babe actually be like either of these people i imagine at all?
anyone else as nutty as i am?