I am SO unprepared! - Mothering Forums
April 2005 > I am SO unprepared!
liawbh's Avatar liawbh 04:03 AM 02-23-2005
Anyone else? I have nothing ready for this baby, except a random stash of diapers from the TP, but prob. only. My friend said she was going to have a shower for me, and wanted us to wait to buy anything. So we registered at Target and an online NFL/AP site, but as far as I can tell, she hasn't even picked a day to have it, much less sent out invites.

Am I panicking for no reason? Anyone else not ready?

julesmiel's Avatar julesmiel 12:38 PM 02-23-2005
I'm getting closer to ready, but I'm still worrying!

This is my first child, so I'm still unsure of what I need/don't need. My husband and I are not fans of stuff and are trying to keep this as simple as possible.

I don't think we will be having a shower, but it's still hard to know what the grandmas want to buy. We've been taking it slow and deviously dropping hints to our parents about the big ticket items.

A wise mother on another list to which I belong advised me not to worry, saying the baby only really needed me, some blankets, and my breasts. Anything else can be taken care of after the birth.
ctdoula's Avatar ctdoula 03:03 PM 02-23-2005
don't forget about stuff for YOU (pads, nursing pads, Lansinoh, food in the freezer, lots of toilet paper )

I'm not ready & probably won't be until the very end. It was the same w/my dd. I'm getting stuff ready around the house (the clothes are in the dresser & the changing table is set up), but I know life will get harder for a while after baby comes, so I'm enjoying this time
Stream's Avatar Stream 09:10 PM 02-23-2005
I feel ready, but I don't feel like that means all that much. We ordered and organized the supplies our MW asked us to get for the homebirth. Took out anything sized 0-6 months that was gender neutral and washed that and have it in a drawer (there wasn't very much). I have milk supply issues due to hypoplasia, so we have the hospital-grade pump ready to go (on loan to a friend at the moment, but we can get it back when we need to). Picked up a new carseat. Is there anything else? We're figuring out details with a photographer who will document the birth, so I suppose that's not quite wrapped up, but it will be.

Overall, I really don't feel like there was all that much to be done. The baby will sleep with us, hopefully breastfeed exclusively (though again, I have to prepare for supplementing)-- neither of those require "gear". We have enough clothes/diapers left over from dd to get us through a week or so with no problem whatsoever-- at that point, DH can always go out to the store and pick something up (I say he can do it because I refuse to do too much too soon this time-- I felt great after my first birth, but totally overdid it and slowed my recovery!).

We were big shoppers for the first baby, but now I can't figure out why. All the "stuff" they need seems to come later-- I'll just wait and pick up things as they become essential.

Emotionally/mentally ready? Now that's a whole other ball of wax.
sip217's Avatar sip217 09:42 PM 02-23-2005
Oh geez I am so not ready. My bag isn't packed. Baby clothes aren't washed. I have no maxi pads. I have no diapers. Don't even have a bedroom for the little guy. Car seat is not installed.

I'm sure I will be more motivated, say, a month from now when my due date gets closer.
theelfqueen's Avatar theelfqueen 10:56 PM 02-23-2005
A week ago, I would have said I was right with you but... I washed a load of baby clothes and bought a pack n play and a carseat so... I'm feeling good to go LOL We're having a shower next week but I keep thinking "where am I gonna put all that CRAP????"

I need to buy some pads. That's high on my list, and hemmerhoid junk.
liawbh's Avatar liawbh 11:25 PM 02-23-2005
Ooh, witch hazel, gotta put that on my list.
wasabi's Avatar wasabi 12:09 AM 02-24-2005
I haven't done anything. I feel like it's still so far away and I guess I already have a lot of stuff from DD anyway so it seems like so much less to worry about. Now mentally I still feel totally unprepared. I can barely believe I'm really having another baby. :LOL
theelfqueen's Avatar theelfqueen 12:43 AM 02-24-2005
I'm definitely with you on that Wasabi... I am not in baby-zone at ALL... I pulled out the baby clothes (the one box I have left from when my older kids were little -- items ranging from newborn to 24 months) and I was stuck on "Could DS2 ever have been that little?" rather than fantasizing about new babies... I am just not there at the moment.
wasabi's Avatar wasabi 02:39 AM 02-24-2005
Well I'm glad I'm not the only one. I mean this was a totally planned pg but it's just been hard to get my head around it the whole time. :LOL
theelfqueen's Avatar theelfqueen 03:15 AM 02-24-2005
We had been trying a long time, and had given up when I got pg with this one (my third, our first -- the older two are 9.5 and 4) ... I am still in shock sometimes to realize that I AM pregnant and that this is IT... I will probably not have any more pregnancies... and I so want to be enraptured of this pregnancy and just revel in it but... I am not there, and now there's like 8-9 weeks left and I am still not there and it surprises me. I said something about it to my mom and she just kept comparing it to my last pregnancy which was under very different circumstances and quite unplanned... but which I could get into -- I WAS excited at this stage with that one, I WAS getting ready. But this time, with my very planned, very happy, very excited pregnancy I am feeling like I'm never going to get there and soon it will be over and I'll wish I had savored it more.
wasabi's Avatar wasabi 03:55 AM 02-24-2005
I so know what you mean. We haven't decided if we'll have another. Dh leans towards two being enough so I know the odds are very high this is my last pg. Yet I'm not enjoying it. I'm not savoring it. I kept a pg journal with my DD and I filled in all the little spots. I got behind sometimes but I filled them all in. This time around I asked Dh to get me a new one of the same kind and I haven't written a thing since November and there were huge gaps before that. I am fertile so I have not experienced infertility. However I was (am) nursing DD and had Bfing caused infertility for a long time. I spent basically a year worrying that when we were ready to TTC again I was still going to be infertile. Every month that ticked by as we got closer and I still had no signs of AF coming back I worried more and more about the pressure Dh was going to put on me to wean. By the time we got there Dh was fine and then low and behold out of nowhere here was AF just at the time we'd decided so long ago to ttc #2. I spent all that time worrying for nothing. I don't know if it's all that worry and being OTL that has made it hard to accept that it all just happened when the time was right? I don't know but it's like I couldn't believe I was pg for the longest time. Then I could believe I was pg but not that I was having another baby if you know what I mean? I'm still struggling with that. I only have flashes where it's like wow in 7 weeks I'm going to have a newborn. It's just totally surreal.
danaalex's Avatar danaalex 01:31 PM 02-24-2005
we're not ready in the least bit. we are supposed to be calling the moving company tomorrow after we close so that they'll start the process of getting our stuff to us. they said it will be a week to two weeks after they receive our call. so that's around the 8th or 15th of march. i've been having premenitions (sp) that this baby is going to be born march 15th at 855am. i was right with my other two, so we'll see. LOL.

right now all i have are 3 nb dipes, 1 nb cover, some wipes, a changing pad, and a very small handful of cold weather baby clothes. i got 3 prs of pants and 2 shirts from hanna on sale, and then 2 outfits on sale from baby gap. that's all. we don't have an infant car seat or any blankets. i have my boobies LOL and i do have 3 new nursing bras, and 2 nursing camisole tops. so, that's a go and we do have a dirty diaper pail and a washer and dryer that were included in the house.

for me, it's hard to figure out what i am going to do in the next 4 weeks. i know i need to get stuff ready, but my body is just not cooperating. the baby is SOOOO low that it really hurts to do a lot of house related stuff. i was thinking yoga would help, but it's definitely the baby's position. today i'm being hit in the HIP of all places LOL. so, i know i am going to be limited on what i can do after our stuff gets to our house, and especially after the baby arrives. i am hoping that i can find the box with the car seat, and the boxes of diapers and clothes next week. after that i'm not going to worry too much i guess LOL. OH except that my girls will need somewhere to sleep and something to wear and play with too. so, i guess i'll open about 10 our of 120 boxes next week. that's it though!!

i have an appt next wed so i thought i'd go over to the hospital after it and get a tour so i know where to go, and what everything looks like. i'm also thinking of putting together a tape of songs i want to hear while in labor and after delivery. never done it before, but i've heard many inspiring songs lately it made me think i'd like to hear them before and after the baby is born. we'll see though..........

glad to hear i'm not the only one not ready. i guess some of us have about 4-5 weeks left and others are around 8-9 weeks left, right?
Mizelenius's Avatar Mizelenius 12:24 AM 03-01-2005
I still feel like it is sooooo far away. (I'm due April 22, but DD was early by about a week and a half.)

We moved into a new apt. in January, and put everything baby-related in storage. I don't think I'll have DH bring any of it upstairs until April-- and maybe not until the 2nd week.

But, I have my slings, CDs, and boobs with me, so what else is really necessary?

However, I HAVE been thinking a lot about preparing for birth. I was stuck on what classes to take/books to read . . .I bought Birthing from Within and The Birth Book this past weekend, and have been enjoying them both. I almost wish I would've started reading them EARLIER. Birthing from Within stresses getting ready for labor in daily life, so that requires some practice on my part! Anyway, at least I know I won't take another Lamaze class.

It's fascinating to me, though, how little time is spent (next to none) at my MW appts. on labor preparation. It was the same with the OB. Why? Why is that?