When to tell people that you are pregnant? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 18 Old 09-09-2004, 02:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Both my dh and I are very excited about the positive test result that we got today. Do you think we should wait to tell people the news until after we have the pregnancy confirmed at the doctor's office next week, or be secure in the test that we already took? I just don't want to find out that I am not pregnant and feel like a fool having told everyone. The test says it is over 99% accurate and it is several days after I was supposed to get my period, so it definitely wasn't an early response kind of thing...

Tell me what you think. Thank you in advance
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#2 of 18 Old 09-09-2004, 12:38 PM
 
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well I'm not going to be going to the Dr's so I'm trusting that test! :LOL
We actually have told quite a few people already and we only found out on monday. With my first pregnancy people were very happy for us (we were young) and this time I wanted to make sure it was different. I knew the longer I waited the more I wouldn't want to tell people so we just decided to tell them now!
good luck its hard, is this your first?

Amanda, wife to Ed mama to Logan, Phoenix, Indigo and snuggle bunny EZRA RAIN has arrived
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#3 of 18 Old 09-09-2004, 12:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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yes it is. We are 22 and have only been married for 7 months now. I know my mom is going to flip out (in a bad way). She thinks people should be married for like 5 years before having children (like she was). Eventhough her pregnancies were both unplanned and she though she couldn't even have children...
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#4 of 18 Old 09-09-2004, 02:26 PM
 
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clucky....its a hard decision to make, hey??

earlier this year i was pg and told everyone right away. two weeks later...everyone was touching my belly and smiling and i had to tell them that my belly was empty again. it was horrible to go through...untelling ppl.

this time, my mom and 2 best friends know. as does my mil (not fil thou...big mouth )i dont know when i will tell the rest. probably at 9 weeks 10....something like that.
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#5 of 18 Old 09-09-2004, 08:32 PM
 
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Well, I think most doctors are going to confirm the pregnancy with a urine test, similar to the one you already took at home! So, if you're only waiting for that, why not tell? I know though, with my first, it felt like I was "really" pregnant when I had the test at the doc's office.

This time, I'm not even going to the midwife until 8 weeks, and that's only because I haven't met her yet otherwise I'd probably give it a couple more weeks until we'd be able to hear the heartbeat.

We've told my parents and siblings. No friends yet, and none of DH's family as I don't feel close to them at all and wouldn't want to have to deal with weird sympathy if something should happen. We will probably tell everyone else after week 12 or so. Even though locally people will likely suspect before then.
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#6 of 18 Old 09-09-2004, 09:32 PM
 
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Definately not waiting until i have midwife confirmation here...She doesn't see you until you are 12 weeks. I doubt i will tell anyone for the next few weeks though. A few people already know but none of our family. None of our family thinks you should have a large family and we already have 2 children together and DH has a daughter from a previous marriage so i am not expecting a good reaction to the news when we do decide to tell.

Personally i just wish i could be preggo and have everyone not even take a second look and just have everything be seemless. I really don't feel like listening to lectures about "how are you going to take care of 3 kids with DH on the road all the time"
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#7 of 18 Old 09-09-2004, 09:59 PM
 
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I've told a few close people (partner, dad, two friends) but I really don't want to tell people. I'm wondering when I should tell my mother (we're not close).

Maybe I'm just more private.

I was a bit shocked when DP handed me the phone with his mom this morning and she wished my happy bday (yesterday) and congratulations. I just didn't think about it. I mean, I guess he has as much right as I do to tell people, it was just surprising.
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#8 of 18 Old 09-09-2004, 10:26 PM
 
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My doctor told me that the tests at home are more sensitive than the ones he uses! My feeling is a positive test, sore boobs and no AF means one thing!

As for telling--we usually tell family at 5 weeks, a few old friends right away and the rest of the world at 3 months. I always thought I'd tell everyone right away but am much shier about it than I thought I'd be. Also, dh works at a church and once a few people know everyone would know and then untelling would be hard.

Also, when I was working I didn't tell until 13 weeks.

Anne
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#9 of 18 Old 09-10-2004, 01:54 AM
 
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I told several close friends - the ones who would have been offended if they didn't know right away, you know? I figured I'd tell the people whose support I'd want in the event of a miscarraige.

We have not yet told family. Dunno when we will. My dad is coming to visit next week so the news may slip then, but I'm not looking forward to telling my mom. We don't speak, but I know I should tell her anyway.

b
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#10 of 18 Old 09-10-2004, 03:13 AM
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We have told family, but after a m/c the first time, for my second pregnancy (first child) we didn't tell anyone until 12 weeks. This time we told family right away. I hope nothing bad happens!
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#11 of 18 Old 09-10-2004, 09:15 AM
 
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I agree that if you want to tell people now, tell people now. Don't wait because of a possibility of a false negative. From what I understand, that hardly ever happens. 2 test and some slight nausea if I get too hungry, sleepiness, and crazy vivid dreams are enough to convince me I'm really PG!

A lot of people do wait until around 12 weeks, because the books say that the time that anyone's risk of miscarriage is reduced drastically.

Personally, we, too, are waiting to tell mostly everyone, especially family. It's not that they won't be supportive, but since we weren't exactly planning this at this time, we want to get our ducks in a row, if you will. I totally relate to you a lot of you guys!
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#12 of 18 Old 09-10-2004, 01:09 PM
 
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I waited until 12 weeks with my last one, but I started bleeding early on, like week 5, and it continued all through the pregnancy. The worst part for me was NOT telling. It was hard constantly not knowing what was going on and feeling like I could miscarry at any moment and not being able to share that with anyone because I hadn't told them I was pregnant. By then I didn't want to say "hey, I'm pregnant but don't get too excited because we don't know if the baby's going to stick". It was hard on my kids too. They saw me constantly sad and having to go to the doctor but not knowing why.

This time I told everyone as soon as I found out. Except dh's parents, he can tell them himself when he's ready. Because of all the complications last time he's scared to tell anyone.
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#13 of 18 Old 09-10-2004, 02:29 PM
 
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last time we told my parents at 8 weeks because I was going on a trip with them but w/o dh -- I was really nauseous too and that would have been hard to hide. Everyone else found out between 11 and 14 weeks.

This time I've told two friends (one is a best friend who has the same EDD I do and we were sharing ttc stories). I'll tell my mom sometime in the next two weeks. Probably will tell MIL, SIL when we go to visit them next week. Last time I was really afraid of m/c but this time I'm not so I feel ok telling people early. I'll probably keep it quiet at work until closer to 12 weeks unless I start looking big that soon (big for me, not big pregnant).
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#14 of 18 Old 09-10-2004, 03:21 PM
 
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I am telling my mom when she comes to visit next Friday. I'll be 7 weeks, 1 day (doctor's method). And then I'll call my dad the same day. (It's theur first and they'll be way psyched!)

We're not going to tell anyone else until I'm 10 weeks (around October 7), and then we'll tell my dsd and my mil and fil. My dsd can't contain news like this, so it will spread quite quickly when she finds out!

I won't tell people at work until 14 weeks.
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#15 of 18 Old 09-10-2004, 05:52 PM
 
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I can relate about the marriage thing! :LOL
I had my first at 17 then DH and I got married just before I was 19. I'm still 19 and this is our 2 and we have only been married since Nov 03! :LOL
This was WAY planned, we are ready, we are excited so thats what matters!

Amanda, wife to Ed mama to Logan, Phoenix, Indigo and snuggle bunny EZRA RAIN has arrived
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#16 of 18 Old 09-11-2004, 01:23 AM
 
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Hey Clucky. Where are ya in AZ? Im in Tucson. My mom sounds exactly like yours. I have a 1 yr old son and she flipped the heck out too but after a week...she got so excited and she just loves Braedon dearly, more than anything. It was HARD for my parents to come around but if they can...anyone can. I am waiting until after my doc appt next week to tell b/c I have NO idea how far along I am. This was quite a surprise...Im sure my mother is gonna flip out again (again for the bad) but she'll eventually come around.
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#17 of 18 Old 09-11-2004, 07:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am in Tempe. My mom was actually very excited off the bat. I guess when between when I told her that we had decided that we were going to have children eventually and when we actually got pregnant she must have had a change of heart. My dad is still a little surprised though :LOL
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#18 of 18 Old 09-13-2004, 11:52 AM
 
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I am also due in May, the sixth. We will not tell until close to Halloween. This was a surprise baby. I have two school age kids and they don't know yet either. We will tell them after the tests have come back okay. No need to get them excited if things don't work out. By Halloween, I should know that this baby is okay, or not.
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