Who will be with your older child(ren) during labor? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 9 Old 10-12-2004, 09:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This is my biggest worry so far during the pregnancy.

I don't have any family in town. My mom lives 4 hours away and can leave on a moment's notice. I am just thinking about the event that I have a really fast labor (not likely as the last one was a couple of days, and a good 10-12 hours even after I got to 5 cm). Or of course if there is an emergency (also not likely at all, but possible).

I have lived here over a year, and have friends but not a "best friend" I would feel comfortable asking to come over on the spot in the middle of the night and waking their little kids up to do so. Ds has some little friends in the neighborhood, but none of the moms are SAHM's so if it is during the day, we are out of luck. I also am a person who really hates asking for help. Silly I know.

I guess I need to make friends with the retired lady 2 doors down (should do that anyway! LOL) for in a pinch, and find another pregnant mom who I can return the favor for. I feel so pathetic. Really.

Do you have any plans yet? I know it's early. But it is on my mind.
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#2 of 9 Old 10-12-2004, 10:39 PM
 
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I'm thinking of inviting a neighbor friend. Not totally sure who all I want at my birth at this point, however. Need some time to adjust to my new house and will need more time after January when a good friend of mine is moving into town. She was at my last birth, but I think we need some time getting readjusted since it's been more than 2 years since we lived near each other, let alone in the same city.

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#3 of 9 Old 10-13-2004, 01:49 PM
 
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well....my kids are going to be at the birth with us...and we have afew ppl coming, so im sure i can find someone to take care of them while im "busy".

i really need my mom there for me during the birth...so i dont want her to watch the kids...but anyone else can. there will be my husband, mil and also crysmomofthree from this board (unless you beat me crys )

also if the kids want to leave or go outside, i was thinking of asking my granny (who lives right across the street and is retired) to hang out with them for awhile. of course when they need to come in, it may be rude not to invite her in for the birth as well....so i havent asked her yet.

im not too worried about it as i want them there for the birth. when i gave birth to ds2, ds1 was 3 1/2 years old, and watched and loved every minute of it.

slightly....do you want your child to attend the birth or be babysat somewhere else? are you planing a h/b or hospital delivery?

my biggest reason with ds2 for the homebirth is that they didnt allow ds1 to attend the birth. (grrr) If you homebirth...hopefully its at night and they can just sleep through the hours of waiting!!
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#4 of 9 Old 10-13-2004, 02:24 PM
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my grandma is coming and staying for a few weeks! I love her, she is soo awesome!
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#5 of 9 Old 10-13-2004, 06:33 PM
 
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My brother and SIL live in town, and my sister will be home from college with my parents for the summer. So I could either have my bro/SIL come stay at our house with Griff, or I could take him with me to my parents' house (they live 1 hour away and I plan to give birth at the hospital where they both work) to stay with my dad/sister.

may my heart always be open to little birds who are the secrets of living whatever they sing is better than to know  - e.e. cummings
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#6 of 9 Old 10-13-2004, 06:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by _jenn

slightly....do you want your child to attend the birth or be babysat somewhere else? are you planing a h/b or hospital delivery?

my biggest reason with ds2 for the homebirth is that they didnt allow ds1 to attend the birth. (grrr) If you homebirth...hopefully its at night and they can just sleep through the hours of waiting!!
Probably a hospital birth, but am also considering a home birth at my mom's house.

I want someone to come to the house to be with ds, so he won't have to be away from me and from home for too long. I also want that person to bring him to the hospital if he really wants to come for part of it. He will have just turned three, and may be different then. But at 2.5 he really dislikes being away from me if it is anyone except his daddy or family, so it would be hard on him.

I think the best would really be to find a way to have family around, as most of you are doing.

Ah well, I can't believe I'm going to have a labor shorter than 6 hours or so, anyway, especially with a VBAC.

If I go with the homebirth, I have 3 siblings, my dad, and other friends who could help out if needed.
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#7 of 9 Old 10-13-2004, 08:46 PM
 
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My mom and dad live here, and the girls will be with them. I really missed having my mom at my second dd's birth (my mom, dad and dh were all with me for dd #1's birth), but I didn't have anyone else to watch Kaylee. So this time they'll both be with her. I'll miss having my parents there, but I feel really lucky to have them in town to watch my girls. It'll probably just be dh there at the birth- although we do great together during labor/delivery, so I'm sure it'll be fine

Half-marathon running Mommy to 3 spunky girls and 1 sweet boy. Spending my days and nights where my kids need me most- at home with them!!

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#8 of 9 Old 10-16-2004, 03:48 PM
 
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i'd love to have the at home with us but after gabriel's birth i don't know if *I* will be able handle their presence. his labor was really intense and i couldn't have them around, no matter how well behaved/quiet they were. i felt inhibited by their presence.

we have already talked to a friend about coming over and labor-sitting with the boys, trading off with dh if they (mainly gabriel) needs him and she'll do the labor support. i think it'll work well. just have to find a bigger house before the big day so i (and the boys) will have more of a buffer zone.
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#9 of 9 Old 10-18-2004, 02:43 PM
 
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This is a big concern of mine as well. My BIL/SIL live about 2 hours away and one or both of them could help me on Sat, Sun, or Mon. There is a teenaged neighbor the babysits for us that ds loves that could help in the evening. I have a friend that only works on Wednesday, but she already has two little ones and I am not completely comfortable asking her. My dad is coming to help with my ds, but he lives 8 hours away and I doubt my whole labor will last that long since it was only slightly longer than that with my son.
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