Weekly Thread 11/08-11-14 - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 53 Old 11-10-2004, 11:32 PM
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I mean, they can't say " oh it is a boy." Only doctors are allowed to.
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#32 of 53 Old 11-10-2004, 11:38 PM
 
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I still don't understand. So they can check the heart chambers and the lip and the limbs, but they can't check the genitalia? Can they write it in your chart and tell you later?

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#33 of 53 Old 11-11-2004, 12:48 AM
 
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We had our second mw appt. today, but our first with the new midwifery team (well, one of the 2). I feel really good about her! Best of all, she lives in my neighbourhood and has a teenage daughter who babysits! Yippee! A good friend of mine has used the daughter and has raved about how good she is. I feel like I've gotten a fablulous two for one deal! Great, quality midwifery care AND a reliable babysitter who doesn't cost an arm and a leg.
I have been feeling so nervous about this baby because of the early bleeding that I opted to have the mw use to doppler today and heard a good, strong heartbeat (150 bpm). It was so thrilling to hear it! I'm not a huge fan of technology, but today it was worth it, just to have the reassurance.

How about a new question... Are you going to find out the gender of your baby and have you had any intuition about the gender of your previous babes? Were you correct?

by the last couple of months I was absolutely sure that ds would be a boy, no doubts whatsoever. With dd, I had pretty strong girl feelings but I didn't trust myself as much because I thought it might be wishful thinking! With this one, its too early to tell, but I'm definitely having more girl thoughts than boy thoughts.
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#34 of 53 Old 11-11-2004, 01:00 AM
 
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For the question - I knew by the end of my last preg that DS was a boy due to a dream. We never had any ultrasounds. This time, I'm now considering an ultrasound to check for a cleft (which I think just yesterday I was convinced I wasn't going to do) since DS had one, but I don't think we'll be asking about the gender. Having a lot of girl feelings however, though I too wonder if it's not just wishful thinking. This pregnancy is definitely different than my last though in that all my symptoms are stronger or I didn't have them at all last time. Definitely feeling a girl. Time will tell.

My first prenatal is Friday. Going to talk with the mw about this new ultrasound idea since my mom recommended a level 2 u/s to diagnose the cleft. My mom can order it for me with a perinatologist she knows (she's a CNM). Basically I had a dream last night that said "go get an ultrasound" and now I'm a little freaked out. Of course, I was talking with a friend yesterday about ultrasounds, so it could have been just that. But my mom had a dream too, though she thinks hers was about a client of hers who had a still birth a couple of months ago. Still freaked out. Discussed it with DH. Feeling now fairly certain that I'm going to go ahead with it.

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#35 of 53 Old 11-11-2004, 07:06 AM
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Only if the doctor specifically asks for it.

Weird huh. Pisses me off!
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#36 of 53 Old 11-11-2004, 12:35 PM
 
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Vanessa - Why the 35 wk U/S? I just wonder because late term u/s are usually done to "predict" the size, which are notorious for being WAY off. I hate hearing about mom's who are pressured for an induction (or elective c/sect) because of the fear of big babies. Hope that's not the case with your doc!

Anna- I didn't know they could diagnose cleft palates in utero with a Level II u/s. Very cool. But (my doula brain talking here) as with every test you have to weigh the benefits vs the risk. What will you do with this info? Continue with the PG or terminate? What would happen if you get the news of another cleft palate? What if it a false positive? What about the opposite situation? I'm sure you've probably already run the scenarios in your head, I just wanted mention it.

Crunchy - I would be wary of any practitioner who routinely looked for problems when there aren't any clear cut reasons to be looking. Fluid could be low because you are a bit dehydrated. Happens all the time when it's warmer outside... Would that be a reason for a RCS? Or induction?

Big babies get born. Our bodies know what to do when me don't go meddling with the natural process. Look at me. Induced with #2 at term, who was 9½lbs, FTP and wound up with a C/sect and was told that he was "too big". #3 came 1½wks "late" and was 10+lbs born without a problem at home. So much for the "too big" theory. Babies come when they are ready, at how big they were meant to be. Our bodies don't grow babies that are too big to be born. But I think I am preaching to the choir here.

As for the QOTW: This pregnancy is the LAST thing from planned. It took me almost 3 weeks to get over the shock and sometimes, if it wasn't for my expanding belly, I am still a little bit taken back when someone mentions *MY* pregnancy... Like "What'choo talkin' 'bout Willis?!" Oh yeah, I am pregnant. Heading out of my first trimester, one third of the way done pregnant.

The boys are getting very excited, especially our 6y/o. He drew some pictures today, that almost made me cry, of our family and Peanut. It makes it easier for me to think of being a mother to 4 children with kids that are happy about it.
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#37 of 53 Old 11-11-2004, 02:03 PM
 
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Desa - A level II ultrasound can indeed diagnose a cleft. My mom didn't recommend it so much as when I asked about having one she said I would need a level II. Aleks was born at home with absolutely no intervention last time. We used a doppler during my last pregnancy, though we were unaware of the effects of it at that time, but we declined all ultrasounds. This time, we are only using a doppler during labor and were planning on doing everything with even less intervention than last time. Then I started getting a bit worried because Aleks was born with a severe cleft lip and palate. I took a ton of folic acid before conception and for a while after (until the ms got severe), so I'm fairly confident that this baby will be fine. For the longest time my husband Jon was the one saying, "maybe an ultrasound would ease your mind" and I was the one saying what you did, which is that knowing wouldn't change anything. Then yesterday morning I had a dream and woke up and realized that if I birthed another baby with a physical defect and I didn't know about it first, that my reaction upon finding out would probably be one of great disappointment along with some repeating of the word "no" (aka an attempt at denial). I don't want to be disappointed at my birth. I want to be ecstatic. I think that some reassurance would do me good and I think that it's a reasonable choice. Starting out day one with a new baby with a defect and not knowing anything about it is hard. I certainly do not recommend routine ultrasounds at all. I have spent a lot of time grieving the loss of my perfect baby and I think that I deserve a chance to be prepared this time if nothing else. Letting go of nursing was incredibly painful for me (though I pumped for 13 months, it's not the same thing). I really just want a shot at what so many other women out there have - perfect babies, and the ability to nurse them.

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#38 of 53 Old 11-11-2004, 02:07 PM
 
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Hi all... I've had a rough week w/ DH gone for work again. He'll be getting home later this afternoon and I can't wait for the break I need it so badly. Last night I was running a fever of 100.5 which is rather high for me and just felt horrible and of course DD didn't want to go to bed when I so needed the rest. No fever this morning but still feeling run down. I don't want whatever this is to blow up since you can't take a whole lot while pg... last pregnancy I ended up with a sinus infection that lasted a few months and didn't go away until Grace was born. I don't want to deal w/ anything that frustrating again.

Anyhoo I'm sitting here next to my cat and it just farted and can I say ewwwwww! Stinky :-P
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#39 of 53 Old 11-11-2004, 04:09 PM
 
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I will get back to personals..........

I have had a major headache since Monday and Tylenol provided NO relief. Yesterday I came home and went to bed at 3pm. Got up at 8 this morning for school with my headache continuing. This is day 4. I got to school and began my exam and felt faint. So, I informed my instructor of my situation and excused myself for a few. When I came back I tried to finish my exam but I just couldn't. I began feeling really faint again. I got up to tell her and had to sit back down in the nearest seat before finishing my sentence. I am so thankful she was very understanding. Of course, I am sure I lost all color in my face. I talked to the doctor and apparently I am having a "horomone related migraine" which can also cause you to faint. I feel better knowing this but since this is not a common occurance I thought something major was wrong like a tumor or something (just like me to start overreacting : )

Have any of you ever felt like this while pg? Am I an oddball?

Again, I will get back to personals later on.......
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#40 of 53 Old 11-11-2004, 04:45 PM
 
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Got nothing new to report...so I guess I'll try do personals!

Rogumum: *new* QOTW: Well, interesting you should ask. With DD I was bound and determined to find out sex even though DH did not want to know. Mostly b/c of previous m/c and my "issues" of not really knowing what sex that baby was (although I deemed it a girl ). So, we made a slight deal that with the next baby we wouldn't find out. Well, first, I didn't think the next baby would come this soon - and that DH would've "forgotten" our deal by then. BUT it did happen sooner and so I've been going off the notion that we wouldn't find out b/c DH didn't want to. But then out of the clear blue sky one eve. last week he just said "let's find out the sex." I was like huh, what, excuse me?! This after I had all but come to terms with not finding out. As I've posted before, I was the type of child that hunted for her x-mas presents as well...patience is NOT my thang! So now I have NO clue what to do...now that DH is ok with it I might just find out. I figure either way it's a surprise just depends on what time you get it. Doc wants u/s anyway since I am slightly high-risk with m/c history and pre-eclampsia with DD.

Nym - Just goes to show ya' that all docs/techs are different! Where I go the techs asked me "do you want to know the sex?" and I was happy they could do that. But other than "here is the heart, here is the lungs", etc. they don't say much.

Velvet - ONLY while I am pg do I get constant migraines. : Nothing seems to work for me either but sleep. I try to take as little meds (including tylenol) as possible...cuz I'm paranoid and weird. Hope the headache goes away soon.
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#41 of 53 Old 11-11-2004, 06:05 PM
 
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Anna, I hope I didn't come off rude. I absolutely agree with everything you said. I think the measure of peace that the US will bring will help line everything up for a wonderful remainder of your PG and birth. I remember reading your birth story when I was a lurker here on MDC a LONG time ago and was always moved by the beauty of your birth despite everything.

We too will be having a Level II after 22 wks to look for aortic stenosis or any other heart defect. DH has aortic stenosis (and an family hx of mytro-valve prolapse and other heart conditions) which is an inherited condition. Although my research says that only 20% of the cases (with AS) are detected in utero the measure of peace that it will bring to DH (and myself, as well) in order for him to feel absolutely A-OK about homebirth is worth the 10-15 min of ultrasound exposure.
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#42 of 53 Old 11-11-2004, 06:26 PM
 
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hello this weeks ladies.
as for the qotw,
I don't think I answered last weeks, was this baby planned? yup, we knew we wanted them close together and I had one post partum flow and bang we caught the egg. I though it would take about six months like it did last time so I must say I am a little overwhelmed that these babies will only be 22 months apart. Even though this pregnancy was planned I am having a hard time realizing I am pregnant, I haven't gained a pound I look just as skinny as usual, so when I look at myself I wonder could I be pregnant? but with the ms and the sudden drop in milk supply and the exhaustion (and the two pink lines ) my common sense says yes you are you should just admit it. I can't wait to hear the heartbeat at my next appointment. I think that will confirm it for me.

and then this weeks question..... I definately want to know the sex of the baby, we have three boys, and this is definately the last baby for us, I can think practicaly that if this one is a boy we don't need to do much prep at all we already have everything. but emotionaly I really want a girl so if I could find out I would love it. That said hubby doesn't want to know (but I can probably convince him) and the ultrasound technicians here don't tell the sex of the baby so I would have to hunt around for one or do my ultrasound across the border in the us and pay for it myself. to find out the sex so probably not very likely but I could get lucky and have a tech that will blurt it out. wishfull thinking.

anna, and ultrasound is done for just the reasons you want one, and if it will give you peace of mind than it is most likely worth the risks.

velvet, I am sorry you have a migraine, make sure you get lots of rest

nym, ultrasound techs aren't supposed to tell you the sex of your baby here in beautiful bc, because of ethics issues (termination of the pg due to the "wrong" sex) I think you can get around it if the doc requests the info, but they won't tell you there you have to wait until you see the dr after the ultrasound.
have a great day
crystal
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#43 of 53 Old 11-11-2004, 08:33 PM
 
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I didn't want to know the sex of the baby but this time it's killing me! I always knew what my others were right off the bat. This time I have no idea.
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#44 of 53 Old 11-12-2004, 02:09 PM
 
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Got that headache that's going around... Went to bed last night without taking anything thinking sleep would make it go away. No such luck. First thing this morning, I'm up eating immediately to try keep some tylenol down.

First Prenatal - I leave in an hour!!! Yippee!

Also went to a mothering meeting last night where we made birth art and discussed birth. It was so perfect for me. Then I ate red meat for the first time in like three years (weird! but I was craving it). Great night, except for the headache - I was out for hours without my child hanging out with other mommies that I like.

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#45 of 53 Old 11-12-2004, 03:49 PM
 
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Hi mamas,

I'm 14 weeks today - time is flying by. Thankfully I don't have major headaches or back troubles (yet) and didn't with dd so I'm hopeful I won't this time. I don't have full blown nausea any more but I do feel slightly queasy in the mornings and at night. Sinus drainage and gagging are here and with me for the duration I'm sure.

It's been a busy work week - lots of meetings and trying to get things in order since I will be out of town next week. I leave tomorrow afternoon for Estonia and will return late Thursday. I work with student exchange programs and this is a business trip. Never been that far east before so it should be interesting. I haven't travelled since June and I'm a bit fearful that dd will really consciously miss me this time. She's 22.5 months and understanding so much but doesn't really have a concept of time. I also wonder if she'll want to nurse when I return or if this will be it. She's such a booby girl but is now down to nursing just-before-bed and right when I get home from work on most days.

Anna - I totally understand where you're coming from with the ultrasound. My dd came early and was in the NICU. I feel really lucky that we were able to establish a nursing relationship. According to stats, I have a 30% chance of pre-term premature rupture of membranes (my water broke early) this time - if there was a test I could take that would let me know if it would happen again, I would do it. I want nothing more than to have a big, fat, full term baby that stays with me from the moment it's born.

QOTW: We probably won't find out the gender. The ultrasound techs here will tell you if you want to know but I really liked the moment of delivery surprise last time. I also don't want a false prediction like my SIL got -- my niece was "supposed" to be a nephew. Last time, everyone I knew thought I was having a boy. All those old wives tales about how you carry the baby, etc. Well, two prediction methods I used (the Chinese chart and some other questionnaire) said I was having a girl. I didn't really have a strong vibe but did have a sense that everyone I knew was wrong about a boy. It was great fun to say to my mom just moments after dd was born that she could buy pink. (She really wanted a girl but thought it was a boy.)

No strong vibes this time. But, I guess if I had the ultrasound tech predict the gender, and it was a boy, I could get dh to stop threatening to name a girl Frederica. (No offense to those named Frederica but it's not really an option for me.) A boy will be named Frederick after dh's grandfather but we're at a loss so far on a girl name.

Well, I'm checking out early today so I've got to get things wrapped up before I go. See you in 10 days or so.

~Hope
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#46 of 53 Old 11-12-2004, 04:36 PM
 
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Hi all, I had my second MW appointment yesterday and I am 15 wks 3 days, although I am measuring at 17 wks! This is my second baby so maybe I'm just showing early? I have been wondering if it's twins, my dh is a twin and I have twins way back in my family. I would love twins but I wish I kwew already. We are not doing ultrasound so we will not find out the sex. I did hear the heartbeat at our last appointment but after more research we decided not to use any more doblers so we can't listen for more heartbeats untill next time ( I hope)

We did plan this baby, and I was still surprised when my test was positive. We were trying for about four months, I am really excited to be having another May baby, my ds was born May 1st 1998, and he said I can have the baby any day except the first- already he doesn't want to share

I have had at least four dreams where I had a boy, and I would love another boy. (but I am hoping for a girl)
I also have so many dreams where I feel the baby move, the last one I had a week ago; My dh was in the shower getting ready for work and I was laying in bed, I felt a movement, then i felt what I thought was an arm and then it felt like a tiny hand was pressing against my hand and holding my finger! I can't wait for my guys to be albe to feel movements too!

It's so nice to read about what you other Mama's are going threw, I am so glad to say the MS is all gone, only gaging once and a while YAY!!

peace kathleen

There's nothing you can know that isn't known. ~ John Lennon
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#47 of 53 Old 11-12-2004, 05:12 PM
 
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Anna- Good luck with your first appointment. I hope all is going well for you. I am sorry you have a headache. Mine is still off and on. I got dizzy from it again last night while at wal-mart. I hope yours doesn't last as long as mine has.

peacenlove- I am facinated with twins. That would be really neat... a lot of work but very neat and rewarding. That is so sweet you felt the baby and maybe it was the hand

schatz- Have fun on your trip!!!

QOTW:
I do not have any ideas on what the sex is except it's either a girl or a boy. I want to find out (as I have said before) but dh is not keen on the idea. The thing is I believe I can change his mind on the day of the u/s
I haven't had any dreams and neither has d/h. I do keep visualizing him walking around with a baby girl. From other peoples opinions it 6 for a boy and 4 for a girl. I should give a prize to the correct group just for fun. :LOL
It really doesn't matter. We will love our baby either way boy or girl, but dh has been surrounded by boys his entire life -He has 2 brothers and a male cousin that grew up with them. There is always so much testosterone at family gatherings just my mil and myself are usually the only females around.
It would be nice to have another female family member around the house. Naturally though all the men (dh NOT included) "Woo Hoo we're having a nephew- another boy around the house" Maybe- Maybe Not.....
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#48 of 53 Old 11-12-2004, 05:36 PM
 
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Appointment got canceled. I swore it was at 2, turns out it was at one and there was a woman in labor anyway. Rescheduled for next Friday. Really really bummed out today...

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#49 of 53 Old 11-13-2004, 01:02 PM
 
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Anna- I am sorry your appointment got cancelled. I know you were looking forward to it.

I am excited because I had coffee this morning for the first time in 3 mos ....
decaff of course. I have really missed my morning cup. I didn't want it for a while and then one morning last week I woke up and wanted it again. I just didn't feel like making it . I am going to spend my day cleaning and then at a football game. I hope everyone has a good weekend.
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#50 of 53 Old 11-13-2004, 01:35 PM
 
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Tish, if you're drinking decaf, be sure to get organic, swiss-water process decaf because the chemicals they use to decaffeinate regular coffee are way worse for you than the caffeine would be. If you can't get that kind of decaf, just drink regular coffee - every now and then shouldn't hurt anything.

Feeling better today myself. Finally able to visualize birthing here. Feel like it would be best if I just did it alone. Maybe it will happen...

Am I the one posting the most here?!??! Should stop that.

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#51 of 53 Old 11-13-2004, 03:48 PM
 
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Uh Oh... I didn't know about the decaff. I wish I would have known this morning before I drank 2 cups. I would have rather had the regular. Now for yet another question.

My lower back just on the right side of the spine hurts and my right calf and foot hurts too. My leg and foot has a constant dull ache. I am wondering if I have slept wrong and caused a pinched nerve or something, and is it safe to visit the chiropractor?
I am full of problems this week.
I don't know what is going on but my head hurt all week and now that feels better my back and leg hurt. What's next? I have not usually had so many aches and pains and been so whiney.
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#52 of 53 Old 11-13-2004, 04:11 PM
 
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Tish, that sounds like sciatica. It is safe to visit the chiropractor and I hope it helps! Go ASAP! Otherwise, it's just one of the perks of pregnancy.

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#53 of 53 Old 11-13-2004, 04:44 PM
 
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That is what I was fearing. I did look it up before posting but still thought it may be too soon for that. Thanks Anna for your replies. I will call the chiropractor on Monday.

I am glad you were able to visualize your birth. I hope you can do it alone as you wish.
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