Oh my-lanta - I could almost hog this thread all bymyself.
MIL babysits Elijah..because I have to work. No getting around it. (Stupid college kids using credit cards and buying new cars...sheesh!) She's great because I know she isn't going to hurt my son, and she loves him to pieces. AND although we do have to pay her (she quit her job to take care of Elijah) its much cheaper than any other child care provider we would have......BUT
She thinks she's mom. No just to Elijah, DH and me..to EVERYONE. Dispite DH and I telling her Bathtime was special to me and DH (when he was 4 months..) she just says "okay" and still persists to give him a bath, almost daily. I got Elijah's haircut by one of my aunts..a hair stylist at Regis. She was mad that she didn't get ot do it, so now she "upkeeps" Elijah's hair, so we won't have to get it cut. DH won't tell her not to. We tell her things like..."a good snack that he likes and is healthy is....." "We don't eat pork, and don't want him to either." All stuff she just throws out the window. She acts like she hears us..but doesn't do ANY of it. We are together at Thanksgiving time, and Elijah is getting his fair share of food. (We have two families to go to) I feed him at my grandma's a pretty good amount...twice! We get to MIL's who insists he's hungry. BIG SURPRISE when he doesn't eat much..this is after I tell her he's just eaten. Then she gives him a piece of sugar candy. Well, my mom's version is "potato candy" made with Potato's and confectioner (sp?) sugar. MIL's is made with CRISCO and confectioner sugar. I tell her one is plenty..he'll be up end up not sleeping. She goes in the kitchen and gives him another one "because he wanted it" WELL DUH he wants it. What kid is going to turn down SUGAR???? Then at another dinner, they were giving him cake, and DH said he's had enough sweets. Do you think they stop??? ARG. I probably should stop because I'm actually getting aggervated again. This has been an issue with me since I went back to work. One more thing...Birthday party. DH and I decide to throw a party at OUR house. You know..normal stuff, family - party. Cake, Ice cream, maybe some snacks. Well, not only does MIL say we don't have a big enough house, but refuses to hand out invitations because she insists that she's going to have one of her own at her place. After we told he we weren't having two parties (we're not a divorced family..we're not going to behave like one!) we sent invitations out to DH's side of the family anyway...MIL got upset and gave every one of the invitations we gave her to hand out to give back to us..and says "I'm not giving these out to any one else since you did that!" Um, they were all accounted for..she wasn't handing them out anyway, so whats the difference?
Its out of control. And I have learned that I canNOT be the one who talks to her. DH has to do it. But she's always been a control freak, and DH can't get her to listen to one word he says. I LOVE that we do have a place we can take DS, that isn't a daycare, and that she does love him. And maybe some of this stuff is really petty. But its frusterating. I really do NOt want to go back to work when this next baby comes. I don't know if or how its going to work...but its my goal.