Dump Your Fears Here (ridiculous or otherwise) - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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#31 of 59 Old 01-19-2005, 05:09 PM
 
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Originally Posted by annakiss
Breech does not necessitate cesarean, but finding a practioner who will "let" you deliver vaginally is next to impossible. I'd try chiropractic, yoga, the different exercises to turn a baby and as a last resort external version before submitting to a cesarean for a breech baby. Keep an eye on it if you want to avoid a c/s.
anna - we're going back and forth in multiple threads :LOL

yeah, that's my fear. That this bugger will present as breech and that the OB on call from my doc's group will refuse to try vaginal. Really, I need to talk to my doc as I get closer to 34 weeks and see what the climate of the group is. She wasn't concerned after the ultrasound. But, my view is clouded by the fact that one of our grad students just delivered in Dec and "had" to have a c/s because the baby was "too big" to turn (with a version or on it's own), was breech, and they felt she wouldn't be able to deliver it anyway if it was head down due to the size. This was her first baby. But, the climate here in my city is pretty liberal so I suspect that they won't push a section for breech but I don't know. I do know that I might have to show my doc the birth story of a women who recently delivered big twins vaginally and both were breech. Not in the plan but that was the way it happened (that is, they didn't know the babies were breech).

Anyhoo, thanks for the avoiding a c/s due to breech ideas!
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#32 of 59 Old 01-19-2005, 05:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Mariah101
I worry that:

I will have another 4th degree tear
Did you have an episiotomy with your first? Or just the tear?

anna kiss partner to jon radical mama to aleks (8/02) and bastian (5/05)
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#33 of 59 Old 01-19-2005, 06:04 PM
 
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My biggest fear right now cannot be voiced anywhere. ;(((
My other fears - I'll have to "collect" them and then post.

Valeria
dd 05.17.2005
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#34 of 59 Old 01-19-2005, 11:31 PM
 
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About encouraging a breech baby to turn, and even encouraging a posterior baby to flip.... www.spinningbabies.com.
HTH

Gigi. Mommy to 3 girls.
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#35 of 59 Old 01-20-2005, 01:31 PM
 
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I was wondering ladies, have your fears changed as this pregnancy has progressed?
For me, yes and no. In the beginning, I worried alot about having another baby- financial reasons, goals changing etc. Now I do not worry about that so much, I have accepted my goal changes. Now I worry about the health & safety of my baby. I used to worry about misscarriage, & now about stillbirth so I guess that one has not changed.
So anyone else, have your fears changed as your belly grew?

Cristina - "If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded." Maya Angelou
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#36 of 59 Old 01-20-2005, 01:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Certainly. In the first trimester, I was afraid I'd have a miscarriage. Now that the baby moves, I'm afraid that the baby will stop moving. Later on, more fears about the birth of the baby will come, I'm sure and of course, the terror of having two kids is sort of ever-present.

anna kiss partner to jon radical mama to aleks (8/02) and bastian (5/05)
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#37 of 59 Old 01-20-2005, 01:48 PM
 
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I used to worry about miscarrage and now it has changed to worrying about stillbirth.
All along I have worried about the mental and physical health of the baby. Working with people of special needs has a way of bringing all the fears of the things that could be wrong either developmentally or physically.

Sometimes, I fear that my quick temper tantrums I have w/dh will cause the baby to have major behavioral problems.
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#38 of 59 Old 01-21-2005, 07:40 PM
 
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Lately...

I fear another hemmhorage! Bleeding to death is a very real, very scary fear.

...another attack of bad, very painful hemmorhoids! (sorry if TMI!)

...another boy, because my ds has been driving me crazy!

..that there will be something wrong with this babe, that somehow we are tempting fate by having a third.

... that financial problems will be made harder by the addition of another child
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#39 of 59 Old 01-22-2005, 01:21 PM
 
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coleslaw - do a search from the MDC forums for "eat placenta" and you will get several discussions from people who have done it and there success. I tried to post the links here but I was not able to.
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#40 of 59 Old 01-22-2005, 02:02 PM
 
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my fears...

Early on - miscarriage. I had bleeding early on...I didn't have that with Elijah

Now - this baby isn't moving enough. Elijah was quite the mover! Azalyah moves just enough to keep me from calling my M/W

SIDS is a huge one for me!

I fear failing as a mom with 2 under 2. Elijah still requires a bunch of attention, and Azalyah is going to effect his life big time.

I fear we won't be able to get our bills under control enough for me to stay home (we have excellent credit and stuff..thats not waht I'm saying. But we LIVE as though we have 2 incomes...lots of adjusting and paying off being done.) If I go back to work, then MIL gets to watch both of my babies, control their day - despite what we say our wishes are. Argue with her, and deal with every single question we have about how their day goes being taken as an "accusiation" for something done wrong.

PPD - which I did have before. I was awful. But mentally I'm more prepared for it than I was lasttime. I had way under estimated "baby blues."

I fear I'll get to stay home, and then grow incredibly "stir crazy" at times and become a grumpy person in the evenings to my DH because I don't feel like he's helping out enough so i can have some "free time." I fear that my marriage will be put on hold - and SOMETHING there will die. There just aren't many people who participate in "play groups" around here. They are like NO WHERE to be found. The closest LLL meeting is about a half hour from me, and i called and left a message with both of the leaders about their meetings, and how to find them, etc. And neither called me back.

Um, I'm sure there's more...but I'll stop for now.
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#41 of 59 Old 01-24-2005, 02:46 AM
 
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I don't want to read other people's fears as to not increase my own, so forgive me for just jumping in here and dumping my own off! I am usually not so fearful, but of course PG gets to you. I'm afraid some of the movements are too jerky, so I get to thinking maybe the baby is having spasms or epilepsy in there! I'm afraid it will be totally mutilated, retarded, or otherwise abnormal. I'm afraid I'll break down in labor and not be able to do it. I'm afriad my SO doesn't love me and won't want to help me in labor.
I sound like I'm very fearful, but I'm letting even the ones I thought of once to get out, so they don't bother me later!
Thanks for the opporunity, great thread~!
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#42 of 59 Old 01-24-2005, 12:16 PM
 
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It's comforting to know that so many share the same fears as me, past fears as well.. I was terrified that I was going to miscarry early on.

Now, my fears are:

Having the baby prematurely - my oldest sibling was a preemie, and my mom had a horrible birth experience with her. I know mine will not be like hers, the doctor first gave her drugs to slow her labor so he could go home and not have to worry about coming back, then the next morning gave her drugs to speed it back up... she didn't remember any of it, she woke up with blood under her fingernails and they told her she'd tried to push the baby back in... then she didn't get to be with her baby for a few days. Poor mama I'm not afraid of having her drugged experience as I would not let that happen, but I am afraid of having a preemie.

Stillbirth.

Something being 'wrong' with the baby.

Being a parent. This is my first child. It's a big responsibility.
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#43 of 59 Old 01-31-2005, 10:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Breeder
Did you have an episiotomy with your first? Or just the tear?
No episiotomy. Just the tear. I think the doc. was anti-episiotomy, which is fine, but looking back I wonder if it would have been better to have one!

That tear was awful. It hindered everything...inc. bf because i was so uncomfortable all the time and my baby wouldn't latch. Neither one of us could get comfy! It was a factor that just made things harder...praying it doesn't happen again!
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#44 of 59 Old 01-31-2005, 10:55 PM
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Originally Posted by CathToria
I do breastfeeding help/support in my community. If anyone would like to throw out their bfing problems from the past, I can give me .02 as to ways to help......
Thanks! Here's one for ya:

My DS started to latch well in the hosp. In fact all the nurses commented on it. Then the 2nd day in hosp. I just felt like he wasn't doing as well. He would keep popping off. That night we went home and by midnight I didn't feel like he was getting a drop. And he was crying all the time. By the time I saw a LC two days later, I was engorged and he really couldn't latch at all. We were feeding him formula from a medicine dropper or cup at that point since he was SO hungry. (I knew nothing about pumping or watching for my milk to come in....one day my boobs just exploded!)

I saw the LC who got me pumping and helped with latch. But he never caught on...he just would cry and cry whenever we tried to nurse. I finally introduced the bottle a couple of weeks later and pumped for awhile after that. We tried shields but they were minimally successful and I was very worried about the problems associated with them.

My nipples aren't huge but were pronounced normal by the LC (who was from LL). And my son was normal and healthy, no mouth problems or anything. He was not circ'd but I did have an epidural. He was full-term vaginal, no forceps or anything.

He was diagnosed with reflux at 2 weeks of age by our ped. and the meds and positional feeding greatly helped. Could the reflux have been the root cause of the difficulty latching?

Can you see anything in this scenario that could have prevented our failure? (Other than my giving up....)

Thanks a bunch!
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#45 of 59 Old 01-31-2005, 11:08 PM
 
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Mariah- here's my "diagnosis" ...

on day 2, was he popping off b/c he was falling asleep? common and normal, but if it happens again, just try to wake to nurse more often.

Your milk will pobably come in faster the 2nd time around, and the idea is to keep baby feeding so you don't get really engorged. You should feel full as your milk is coming in, as this is your body's way of figuring out the supply and demand thing. But if you nurse every 2-3 hours, baby should "relieve" enough milk that you are comfortable and so that your breast is not too hard to latch onto.

If you do get engorged again, you can express or pump right before feeding to soften up a bit, the latch baby on. MAybe even express a but in the shower before feeding baby. Don't pump too much, or your body will just make even more milk.... just pump to comfort so baby can grasp softer tissue.

When you latch, aim your nipple for the roof of baby's mouth instead of the throat. This will help baby to get a lot of lower breast tissue on his tongue/lower jaw. ALso, if baby is reluctant to stick his tongue "out" enough, you can work with his tongue by using your finger for him to suck on, and as he is sucking, apply downward pressure and slowly pull your finger out of his mouth... to encourage his tongue to resist against your finger and to extend.... I hope that makes sense!

Using nipple shields as a last resort is a good idea.. there is definitely a place for them as they can aid in getting over a rough time period. ANd breast milk thru a shield is still better than having to stop nursing all together, KWIM?

I think that if you pay attention to latch early and watch and avoid over-engorgment, that you will be okay!!!

HTH and good luck!!

Gigi. Mommy to 3 girls.
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#46 of 59 Old 02-03-2005, 10:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CathToria
Mariah- here's my "diagnosis" ...

on day 2, was he popping off b/c he was falling asleep? common and normal, but if it happens again, just try to wake to nurse more often.

Using nipple shields as a last resort is a good idea.. there is definitely a place for them as they can aid in getting over a rough time period. ANd breast milk thru a shield is still better than having to stop nursing all together, KWIM?

I think that if you pay attention to latch early and watch and avoid over-engorgment, that you will be okay!!!

HTH and good luck!!
Thank you so much for your advice. No, he didn't seem to be falling asleep on the nipple. More like just couldn't get a grip.

What pump would you recommend i have on hand for softening my breasts and/or emergency use? I don't want to rent a big electric pump unless I really have to. I have a cheapie hand-held plastic thingy from the hosp. but it really doesn't express much at all. Is there one that is not that expensive for this sort of purpose?

Also, I'm not sure I still have my nipple shields--do you recommend that I get another set just in case? Or don't use them until an LC says to?

Thanks again!
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#47 of 59 Old 02-04-2005, 04:10 AM
 
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My fears are pretty simple.

I am scared that someone will betray my trust again. (happened in a HUGE way with my DSs birth)

I am scared i won't be able to breastfeed (again couldn't figure it out with DD and wasn't in any mental state to with DS)


I am absolutely terrified that i will go insane again after this baby is born. (PPD and PTSD)I am doing things to avoid this. And in my defense...it wasn't all my fault before. I have wonderful support from my midwife who has been made very aware of my past and has commited to be there for me in any way she can to help this not happen again.

I am scared that all my emotions from my DS labor and delivery will come rushing back on me and i will be fighting that battle again when i don't need to. I am scared i will spend the whole time defensive and feeling like a scared rabbit.

My biggest fear of all is that i WILL need to fight that battle again. Logically i know that won't happen with my midwife. It is still a fear though and it is VERY real.

now for more trivial (to me) fears:

Scared that for some reason i won't make it to the birthing center.

Scared i will end up with a c-section..although i have no reason to think this might happen other than an unexpected emergency.

I am scared it will go too fast. I am weird i know. I want this labor to last longer...i want to savor it because i truely believe this will be my last. I am one of the strange few who enjoys labor and delivery even with all the pain. I need to confirm i am WOMAN.

I am scared that someone that i don't want to be there will show up. Totally unfounded fear since nobody will even know AND we are traveling so far away from the people i don't want there that i seriously doubt they would go out of their way to be there.


My DH has ONE fear:

He is scared that this birth will go so good and i will be so happy that i will want another baby in a few months. He wants to "take the bullets out of the gun" and i am fighting him doing that. LOL


My step mother in law told me yesterday that i should fear a breech baby since i have not had an ultrasound. This is something i do not fear. I know i can deliver a breech. There is no fear there and none can be induced by well meaning family, friends or doctors. She gave birth vaginally to two breech babies...both were fine. So ihave no clue why she would make me want to fear it. In every other way she is in total support of natural birth and all of my decisions.
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#48 of 59 Old 02-04-2005, 03:57 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mariah101
More like just couldn't get a grip.

What pump would you recommend i have on hand for softening my breasts and/or emergency use? I don't want to rent a big electric pump unless I really have to. I have a cheapie hand-held plastic thingy from the hosp. but it really doesn't express much at all. Is there one that is not that expensive for this sort of purpose?

Also, I'm not sure I still have my nipple shields--do you recommend that I get another set just in case? Or don't use them until an LC says to?
I think that if you get this baby nursing more frequently, espec as your milk is coming in, you can avoid engorgement and baby will always be able to get a grip.

Honeslty, a warm shower and massage/hand expression would probably do thr job. A pump isn't necessary at all to be sucessful (I just assumed that you still had a pump). For under $50, I have heard good things about the Avent ISis and the Medela harmony (I think that's the model name).. the new medella seems to be created to compete with the Isis, which is popular. But again, I thibk avoiding engorgement is a better plan than throwing a binch of $$$ on a pump.

As long as the shield still fits you (there are different sizes in length and circumference), then jsut sue thise. You can boil them if they are silicone if you want them sterilized. Again, only you will know if you need them, but if you can avoid engorgement, you will prob never need them.

I *really* hope this helps and that you have a easy sucessful time breastfeeding this time

Gigi. Mommy to 3 girls.
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#49 of 59 Old 02-04-2005, 04:15 PM
 
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:

Gigi. Mommy to 3 girls.
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#50 of 59 Old 02-05-2005, 01:51 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyWulf
My DH has ONE fear:

He is scared that this birth will go so good and i will be so happy that i will want another baby in a few months. He wants to "take the bullets out of the gun" and i am fighting him doing that. LOL
.
LOL.... that is hilarious


i have one dum fear. pp hemmorrage. I am on baby 3 and most of the women i know who've hemmmoraged did it on baby 3. i am alittle obsessed with this thought. it is driving me nuts and i wish i could just shake it. GRRRRR
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#51 of 59 Old 02-05-2005, 06:17 PM
 
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CathToria- Okay, I have a bf ? for you...

I researched LLL info when trying to bf dd. I'm pretty certain we were having some latch difficulties due to the epidural I had. By 6 weeks I was in excrutiating pain with cracked nipples and minor lacerations. But my main concern is bf-ing as a large breasted woman. I read about using towels as props and the football hold. I tried both, but I'm not certain if our lack of success was due to how long it took us to try. Are there any other positions, sites, etc. that could help or give me more info? Even parts of LLL info admit that there's not as much info on bf-ing as a large breasted woman.


As for my new fear... that there will be a problem with the baby's kidney. The ultrasound should a potential for renal pelvis dilatation. Of course it's all doctor jargon to me, so I googled a bit and it doesn't seem that bad. But I'm not too keen on the possibility of a newborn ultrasound (to confirm) and a course of antibiotics (if there is a problem). Also, I'm not certain how this might affect my planned HB.
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#52 of 59 Old 02-05-2005, 10:28 PM
 
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Originally Posted by heket
CathToria- Okay, I have a bf ? for you...

I researched LLL info when trying to bf dd. I'm pretty certain we were having some latch difficulties due to the epidural I had. By 6 weeks I was in excrutiating pain with cracked nipples and minor lacerations. But my main concern is bf-ing as a large breasted woman. I read about using towels as props and the football hold. I tried both, but I'm not certain if our lack of success was due to how long it took us to try. Are there any other positions, sites, etc. that could help or give me more info? Even parts of LLL info admit that there's not as much info on bf-ing as a large breasted woman.
.
Well, any "sized" woman can breastfeed. I'll tell you th e generic info, then I will give my personal experience. There are basically 4 holds... cradle and cross cradle (baby in your arms across you, but with 1 baby's head is in your hand, other the head is in the crook of your arm). #3 Side lying, or laying down. #4 is football, which is recommended a lot b/c you should be able to "see" more when learning... also good for sections. The 1 main diffecence between small and large breasted womes is that larger will probably need to support/hold your breast for the feeding to make sure your nipple stays angled/positioned properly. But you can deviate and make your own hold.... as long as baby latches properly (lots of breast on his tongue, lips flanged, etc, body somewhat straight so he can suck/swallow comfortably.) You will know latch is correct if baby has lots of diapers and you are not sore. So you *can* just try a position that works for you!!!

I am a pretty big girl, and my postpartum bra size is 42F. I have NEVER been able to do the football hold.... it just didn't work for me. I Loved side lying. This is how I do it... I lay on my side, hips stacked. Then I place my boob on the matress, make sure I am comfortable with my head on a pillow, lower arm supporting my head/pillow. THEN, bring baby to the bed, lay him on his side and pull him close to latch him on. In the beginning, roll up a reciving blanket and wedge it between his back and the mattress to keep him from rolling onto his back. Use your upper arm too. the matress will keep your boob at the right angle, so you don't have to hold it.

I also like nursing baby with baby's head in the crook of my arm. My other arm crosses over my body to support my boob from "facing southward".

You CAN do it with big boobs!!! I have seen moms with the HUGEST boobs and the tiniest boobs sucessfully nurse. maybe your midwife can help with positioning after your birth. It may also be helpful to attend a LLL or other bfing support group while you are pg so you can see other mothers nursing their babies and how they hold them.

HTH

Gigi. Mommy to 3 girls.
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#53 of 59 Old 03-14-2005, 05:31 PM
 
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I wanted to bump this thread up, as I am now having 3rd trimester fears.

Anyone else??? I guess my biggest is that this baby will die. UGH! Why do I do this to myself. I even asked DH about it, & he says he thinks about it too. WHAT!!!!!!! Is this normal?????? I do not remember doing this when pregnant before. Perhaps it is because I know so much more now. (And I know of 2 babies that died late term & at birth!) I don't know. But I had to get it out! I feel better. I am trying so hard not to think about it. I know statistically it is low. All is well now in this pregnancy. Baby is growing, thriving, moving, etc. I need to hear happy birthing stories. I have to stop reading about the bad outcomes (why am I drawn to them???) I feel like I could go psycho with all this turmoil. (Which is why I am writing it down, I think it helps.) Any ideas? Anyone else??? Am I a paranoid ninny???????

Thanks Ladies.

Cristina - "If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded." Maya Angelou
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#54 of 59 Old 03-14-2005, 10:16 PM
 
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My biggest fear is that no one will be able to help with the boys while I am in labor and that DH will miss the whole thing because he has to deal with our sons.

I am also worried about going into labor too early, even though I think I will be fine.

For some reason I am feeling pretty positive about this one. Not to much freaking me out right now.

Give me a day or two and that will change!
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#55 of 59 Old 03-15-2005, 12:25 AM
 
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well originaly my fears focused on avoiding delivering early (like my last two)
but now I have a terrifying fear there is something wrong with the baby, I have low fluid volume ( 2.5%) , and my fundal height hasn't grown in three weeks, and I know it hasn't gotten any bigger , and my low weight gain (none ) in the past three weeks. I know all of these can be normal deviations and there is likely nothing wrong but I am on the verge of panicking because I don't know if everything is okay and I wont know until the baby is born.

Then I keep hearing all of these horror stories of women who delivered babies who had low fluid levels during pregnancy and their babies died or had birth defects, the horror stories haven't helped.


crystal
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#56 of 59 Old 03-15-2005, 10:55 AM
 
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I have been having a fear that the baby is going to get the cord wrapped around his neck and I will not know it until it is too late. I heard about 3 horror stories in a row about this and it really made me paranoid.
I also have been having a fear of the baby dying at birth.

I try not to dwell on these things as if they happen there is not much I can do. Also, I try to keep positive thoughts in mind that things will go smoothly and he will be just fine!!!!
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#57 of 59 Old 03-16-2005, 12:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Crystal, I hope all is well with your babe...

Tish - about 1/4 of all babies have a cord wrapped around their neck. It really isn't much of a problem at all. My mom (a midwife) has seen babies born with the cord wrapped around their neck 5 times with nothing at all wrong, other babes born with the cord wrapped tight and nothing wrong. She's even seen babies born absolutely fine with big knots in their cords. Amazing things happen when we have babies and for the most part, the tragic is very rare.

anna kiss partner to jon radical mama to aleks (8/02) and bastian (5/05)
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#58 of 59 Old 03-27-2005, 01:33 AM
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Well,I guess it's somewhat reassuring to me to see that I am not the only one still worrying.

However, I'm less worried now about this baby and have moved on to worrying about other things. Generalized worry, I guess you could call it. I'm worrying that my son will be upset when I am giving birth at the hosp. I'm worried that my sister who has no kids and will be babysitting him, will do something dumb like let him fall down the stairs (she's a totally responsible person, btw).

I'm worried that I might get injured in some way, like a car accident. I'm worried that I'll get skin cancer (I have to see a derm twice a year for my irregular moles and have a new one she has to look at soon). I'm worried that I'll get postpartum again. And on and on. Maybe I should get some therapy!

It doesn't help that DH is snoring like crazy tonight, which is why I'm in the living room with the laptop.... :
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#59 of 59 Old 03-27-2005, 03:17 PM
 
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Well, now that it's getting closer and we're homebirthing rather than hospital birthing this time ...

I can't help but worry alittle about an early arrival before we have all the supplies needed, and more importantly...

That we'll be that .001% where something goes horribly wrong that may have been prevented in a hospital setting. I know it will all be fine, that I will have a less stressing labor than I did last time, that I have good care and support lined up...

but still there's always that little voice in the back of my head
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