Vent: Co-worker says my belly looks fat!! - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 27 Old 01-19-2005, 09:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So at work today, my co-worker asked if she could see what my belly looked like. I lifted my shirt, and she said, "wow, it doesn't really look like a pregnant belly." I was like, what do you mean? And then she asked if I was really skinny before I got pregnant because it just looked like a really fat stomach. OMG

I feel really terrible right now. I feel like a fat cow. I've been so proud of my belly lately and now I feel gross and fat. I know I shouldn't let it get to me like this, but I mean, come on!! How the do you tell a pregnant woman that her belly just looks like a really fat stomach?!?!?!

Now I just want to go tell her she sucks and her hair looks bad today!! :

Jenn, future midwife, mama to 2 sweet girls (6/05) and (5/07). 
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#2 of 27 Old 01-19-2005, 09:16 PM
 
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#3 of 27 Old 01-19-2005, 09:31 PM
 
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You look great to me
some people
don't let it get you down

There's nothing you can know that isn't known. ~ John Lennon
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#4 of 27 Old 01-19-2005, 10:36 PM
 
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What a twit. I'm sorry she said that to you. She sounds like a real idiot. I think pregnant bellies are beautiful and I love looking at pictures of them! My own SISTER told me "wow, you look fat" when I was about 5 months pregnant but I know she was trying to bring me down. I just ignored her.
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#5 of 27 Old 01-19-2005, 10:59 PM
 
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What a jerk! And she must be completely blind and/or stupid, too, because your pics definitely look pg to me!!

may my heart always be open to little birds who are the secrets of living whatever they sing is better than to know  - e.e. cummings
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#6 of 27 Old 01-19-2005, 11:08 PM
 
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What a jerk! I'm sorry.
When I was pregnant my MOM said, "You don't really look pregnant. You just look chubby."
Oh, so loving.
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#7 of 27 Old 01-19-2005, 11:15 PM
 
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I hope no one minds me popping in. I just happened to see this post as I was scrolling by. That woman is stupid. She obviously has never been around a pregnant woman before, because first of all, she would know that's exactly what you DON"T say to a pg woman. And second of all, she has no clue what a pregnant belly looks like if she thinks YOURS is fat. Pshaw! You have a cute lil pg belly, and it's something to be proud of!

*hugs* to you, mama.
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#8 of 27 Old 01-19-2005, 11:16 PM
 
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What a b*tch!!! First and foremost, I think your belly is beautiful! I'm jealous.

Second, I think you should ask her if she went to one of those beauty schools to get her haircut, cuz it looks like someone was practicing.

That oughta fix her wagon!
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#9 of 27 Old 01-20-2005, 02:41 AM
 
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One of my "friends" said something similar to me~ and she actually thought she was COMPLIMENTING me!! Don't let her make you feel bad~ you look great!

AmiBeth

.

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#10 of 27 Old 01-20-2005, 02:51 AM
 
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I am also just popping in to tell you that you look beautiful and she is a loon.

Mama to three small people; wife to one big person; pet-person to cats and dogs..."Be the change you want to see in the world"-- Gandhi
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#11 of 27 Old 01-20-2005, 02:54 AM
 
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you are beautiful and perfect
our society is just so screwed up....
we are bombarded with anorexic airbrushed barbis everywhere
people are dumb!

homeschooling mama to 8 yr old biggrinbounce.gif with a new little one(5-5-2011) babyf.gif...  h20homebirth.gif

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#12 of 27 Old 01-20-2005, 10:41 AM
 
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you look great!!!! such a nice little belly

I'M the one who looks fat due to the need for wide load signs on my back end! : I am waiting for my belly to get big enough to balance out the back. Cus you know, I carry my babies in the back as my mom tells me. Yes, please don't remind me. Such a nice way to say "you sure do get a really big butt when you're pregnant" :LOL

I concur with the idea to tell that woman that her haircut looks like a beauty school practice cut!
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#13 of 27 Old 01-20-2005, 01:24 PM
 
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Jenn, that was just plan rude! You keep on having pride in that belly of yours! It definitly is a pregnant belly, not a fat belly like mine (Even with my huge belly, I still look preggo now!) Keep smiling & sticking that beautiful baby out.
Are you going to do a belly cast??????

Cristina - "If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded." Maya Angelou
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#14 of 27 Old 01-20-2005, 01:39 PM
 
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I also think your belly looks fabulous and you should be proud of it!!! That woman is looney and crazy!!! Urrrr the stupidity of people. Be proud of your beautiful belly. I also agree you should ask the woman if she got her haircut in beauty school because she looked like they used her for practice. These people need to be put in their place!!!

I had a similar comment yesterday. It really tweeked my nerve the wrong way. I had a schoolmate tell me "My you have grown over the holidays. You look really plump these days" Humph. I had really nasty thoughts running through my brain but I gave her a "look" and kept going.
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#15 of 27 Old 01-20-2005, 01:43 PM
 
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You have a perfect belly! This woman has no idea what she is talking about.
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#16 of 27 Old 01-20-2005, 01:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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You women are so wonderful! Your kind words have made me feel so much more beautiful today!

Thank you!!!

Jenn, future midwife, mama to 2 sweet girls (6/05) and (5/07). 
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#17 of 27 Old 01-20-2005, 02:13 PM
 
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When I was pg w/dd, there was a guy I worked with who made a fat comment to me. He was quite a ways away from me, so it was easy for me to ignore or pretend he was talking to someone else. He said it again, again, I ignored. The third time, he was right next to me and said it again- I whipped around and said 'you have a girlfriend, right?' he said 'yes'. Then I told him (rather loudly and very annoyed) 'then you should know you NEVER tell a woman she's fat!!' He stammered something about 'just talking about the baby' blah, blah, blah.

The guy was a total imbecile, not just b/c of this, but I ended up snapping at the guy more than once over the course of the pregnancy. I wasn't overly bitchy while pg, but I was much quicker to speak my mind instead of just holding it in.

Michelle -mom to Katlyn 4/00 , Jake 3/02, and Seth 5/04
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#18 of 27 Old 01-20-2005, 03:17 PM
 
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I looked at your pics - you look pregnant! definitely. may be she just doesn't know what a pregnant belly is supposed to look like? she's just being stupid telling you this stuff. why do you want to listen to stupid people? listen to the smart ones - MDC mamas.

Valeria
dd 05.17.2005
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#19 of 27 Old 01-21-2005, 02:33 AM
 
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what a cow she is!!! Ugh! I cant figure some ppl out. what exactly did she think she was saying???

Continue to be proud, woman! Your belly is GORGEOUS and very baby (i snuck a look at your pics). she's just a clueless twit.
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#20 of 27 Old 01-21-2005, 02:39 AM
 
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I'm sorry! My brother in law did that to me about a week ago. We showed up there to drop something off and he said, "You're gettin' fat" and we all just looked at him in shock. He thought it was funny so when I said he shouldn't say that he reworded it to, "You look plump". People are just dumb!!! Ignore the dumb girl. She's probably really gross when she's pregnant and wanted to make herself feel good. Dumb bully!

Give more**Expect Less
There is no such thing as bad weather. Only bad clothing.
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#21 of 27 Old 01-21-2005, 10:10 PM
 
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Jenn,

I second what everyone has said... You have got a gorgeous belly and should be proud of it. Tell the wench to go play in traffic during rush hour!!
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#22 of 27 Old 01-21-2005, 11:17 PM
 
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Hi! I'm going to pop in here with a little pop psychology.

What is this woman's status re: pregnancy. Is she single, unmarried, no children yet? Is she older and done having her family??

Her comment to me SCREAMS of jealousy. She is clearly trying to make herself feel better by putting you down. My first thought was that she subconsiously wishes she were pregnant but circumstances are not right for her to be.

I would wait a week and then say something like, "So, does my stomach still look fat to you? All women carry their babies differently you know, I wonder how you will look (or did look) when you get pregnant?"

I think you look truly beautiful and your belly is great!!
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#23 of 27 Old 01-21-2005, 11:24 PM
 
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She probably meant to be funny, and is just clueless. Or maybe she felt comfortable enough speaking so frankly to you and you should take it as a compliment (her comfort, not her comment) and not let her bother you again. You look the way a pregnant woman should look, according to Ira Levin- "healthy, proud, prettier than ever."
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#24 of 27 Old 01-22-2005, 12:21 AM
 
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You look adorably pregnant to me.
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#25 of 27 Old 01-24-2005, 01:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepper
Hi! I'm going to pop in here with a little pop psychology.

What is this woman's status re: pregnancy. Is she single, unmarried, no children yet? Is she older and done having her family??

Her comment to me SCREAMS of jealousy. She is clearly trying to make herself feel better by putting you down. My first thought was that she subconsiously wishes she were pregnant but circumstances are not right for her to be.

I would wait a week and then say something like, "So, does my stomach still look fat to you? All women carry their babies differently you know, I wonder how you will look (or did look) when you get pregnant?"

I think you look truly beautiful and your belly is great!!
She IS single, she is a few years older than me, she's dying for an engagement ring from a guy who will probably never commit... I guess maybe she is jealous.

Jenn, future midwife, mama to 2 sweet girls (6/05) and (5/07). 
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#26 of 27 Old 01-24-2005, 03:58 PM
 
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I have heard too many comments like this (my FIL yesterday). I told him if he ever spoke to me that way again, I would break him... But usually I just say, "Thanks. That's just what every woman wants to hear. Maybe you shouldn't talk to any pregnant women for a while."
You have a very very cute pregnant belly... She is just not too bright... Maybe you could ask her when she is going to have a baby??
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#27 of 27 Old 01-24-2005, 04:03 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eaglevoice
She IS single, she is a few years older than me, she's dying for an engagement ring from a guy who will probably never commit... I guess maybe she is jealous.
AHA! Now it all makes sense. Usually a mean-spirited comment like that is masking some kind of pain. I always try (try!) to see through unkind comments to the root of the issue.

If it comes up again and she makes any sort of unkind comment I would just turn it around to her and ask her what she thinks she might look like pregnant.

And again, seriously, you look so adorable that I hope you don't for one second think that her comments were true in a way.
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