When will you welcome out of town guests? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 03-31-2005, 02:35 AM - Thread Starter
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All of our family is out of town, but mine is all within driving distance. My mom will be coming for the birth, to care for ds. She will stay for only a day or two, then leave us to be as a family while DH is off of work for a week. Then she is coming back--yay! to help cook, clean, and help with my 3 year old. She was so awesome when my first was born.

Anyway, MIL is wanting to come in May, so within a couple of weeks of the birth, just like last time. She was no help last time. She is sweet, and not demanding, but is not one to just offer to do things, or do the dishes or sweep the floor on her own initiative. She is a "guest", not family coming to help. And I don't feel comfortable being half naked around her while baby is learning to nurse. Or just because I just had a baby and just don't feel like getting dressed, dammit! So last time I felt trapped in my own house half the time.

And this time, she asked DH when she could come, and DH told her to talk to me! I am so irritated at him. We have had several discussions during this pregnancy, about who was helpful last time and who wasn't, and how I did not want his mom and grandmom here for at least 4 weeks after the birth. Why he could not just say that to her, I don't know. His excuse is, she needs dates so she can get plane tickets. But I think for a domestic flight, 4-6 weeks after the baby is born should be plenty of time to get a flight! :

MIL is really the only one I have to think about. My siblings will all visit, but not until a couple of months have gone by, especially my sister with kids.

So, when are you planning to have people come and visit?
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#2 of 9 Old 03-31-2005, 02:44 AM
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Originally Posted by slightly crunchy
So, when are you planning to have people come and visit?

I think that my siblings will come the 2nd or 3rd week of June. We are planning my "family" shower for the 3rd sunday in June. Babe should be a couple weeks old by then. Also, the blessing part for me is that they will all stay at my Moms house, & I will go over there to visit & leave when I want to.
As far as in-laws, they know I recluse when I have a baby. I just do not invite or share with them, until I am ready. It was hard when I had DD #1, but they got it when I had DS. With this one, they have not really asked, & I am ok with that too!

Cristina - "If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded." Maya Angelou
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#3 of 9 Old 03-31-2005, 02:57 AM
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A lot of my family is in town.
But sometime end of May/June my sister and best friend are coming from Oregon and my Brother and SIL are coming on leave from Japan.
(they are planning on being here at the same time)

Luckily I don't have to host any of them ( I THINK!)

So I think by then I will be ready for them to do their worst :LOL

What I am not looking forward to is my in town SIL.
We don't get along well....but she is going to want to spend time with the baby right away... and I don't want to share him with her!!!
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#4 of 9 Old 03-31-2005, 11:51 AM
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All of my family and DH's family is right here in town. I told him I'd like to have about a week with my new family before we have visitors, but he disagrees and thinks people should come over right away. :

I am trying to figure out how to change his mind.
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#5 of 9 Old 03-31-2005, 01:52 PM
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eh, my family won't come anyways. My dad didn't even try to be around when DS was born... And the ILs wont come either..
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#6 of 9 Old 03-31-2005, 02:51 PM
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We live 3 1/2 hours away from my family. My sister is coming the night of the birth and staying for a month to be our postpartum doula (though she's not a doula). She'll be helping with Aleks. My mom will come for the birth and probably come help out at some point. My ILs thank god live far away, where they can stay. FIL has only seen Aleks twice. I'm quite happy with that arrangement. I hope that everyone from my hometown comes to visit me in the first month. Not to stay, but to visit and bring meals. The people I really love are good for helping out.

anna kiss partner to jon radical mama to aleks (8/02) and bastian (5/05)
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#7 of 9 Old 03-31-2005, 03:46 PM
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My mom and sister are going to try to catch a plane and be here for the birth (they live in CA, I'm in OR) I think they will probably stay for a couple of weeks. My dad will come a few days after the birth. MIL is hoping to visit a couple of weeks after the birth as well. I'm hoping some of my out of state friends will come after a month or so. I'm figuring I'll need all the help I can get, plus MIL is always quick to spend lots of money on anything I need

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#8 of 9 Old 04-04-2005, 01:42 AM
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We live across the country from family. It's all very convoluted. When I go into labor I'm going to call my mom, who will fly out immediately, but only if I go into labor before 5/26 or so, because she can't miss school the first week or so of June (she's a teacher). My inlaws are coming out 5/28 to 6/12 so most likely they will be here for the birth and right after, then my mom will come out 6/10 or so.

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#9 of 9 Old 04-04-2005, 02:40 PM
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My mom will come for the birth. She lives 2 hours away. The in-laws wouldnt dream of coming. And they only live 7 hours away. But this isnt a senior trip to christmas village, or some shopping outing to buy bibles. This is a grandchild so who the hell cares. They have never come to see dd. We went down there 2 times since she was born and I am content never going again. As for other family, we will have a family shower in June. Hopefully best friend from California will be here within 2 weeks of the birth for at least 10 days.

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