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#1 of 11 Old 04-07-2005, 12:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
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So I thought since it's getting towards the end here that we might devote a thread to birth. I'm particularly interested to hear responses from first-timers, just because I'm a birth addict and find it fascinating. So how about answering these questions:

1) Where are you planning to birth?

2) What sort of expectations do you have for your birth?

3) What preconceptions do you expect might be challenged by your actual birth?

4) Hopes, fears, concerns?

anna kiss partner to jon radical mama to aleks (8/02) and bastian (5/05)
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#2 of 11 Old 04-07-2005, 01:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'll go first.

1) I am planning a homebirth here in the duplex where I live. I will have an Aquadoula that I'm hoping will be useful to me, since with my first birth the blow-up pool I used was either insufficient or just didn't do me any good.

2) I've tried very hard to not have many expectations for this birth, and truthfully I feel like I really don't know how or where or when it will happen, so perhaps I've been successful in releasing myself of the burden of expectation. I really feel, from my own experience, that it's necessary to be free of expectation to successfully release oneself to one's body. I feel that it really helped me with my last birth to not have much of an idea of how it would happen. That said, I do have some hopes for my birth, which I'll get to with the last question.

3) I'm trying not to have any preconceptions about anything regarding birth, be it pain or how long it will take, but if anything, I think that I do have an expectation that the birth will be quick. It would be a real challenge to have a longer birth than my first one. That's one thing that I'm certainly taking for granted, albeit not really intentionally - that this birth will be shorter or at least not any longer than my last.

4) I'm hoping, as I said, that this birth will be shorter than my first. I really liked the length of my first birth, but am hoping that this one will be so straight-forward and quick and simple that no one will make it. Barring that, which I'm not really counting on, I'm planning on catching my own baby if I can stand it. I'm afraid of not being able to because I'm either too overwhelmed or I don't want to in the heat of the moment. But I think that what I really want is to walk away from my birth feeling like it was really all me doing the work. This is what I've concluded after months of considering UC. I'm also hoping that I will give birth at night so that my son is sleeping while I labor. I'm afraid that this birth will not be any easier than my first birth, and I am of course terrified of the prospect of it being a worse experience and of any emergency situation that might arise. My son was born with a defect and I'm really looking for a healing experience.

anna kiss partner to jon radical mama to aleks (8/02) and bastian (5/05)
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#3 of 11 Old 04-07-2005, 05:17 AM
 
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Ok so it's 3 am and I can't sleep. May as well post...

1) Planning on birthing at a Birth Center near by. It seems to be a pretty popular place and I actually really happy with the midwives who work there. My daughter was born there and it was a pretty good experience. Plus they take our insurance so it's not costing us a cent, which is a very good thing. I am a little sad (just a little bit) because I really wanted at least the last baby to be a home birth. It's just not in the game plan at this point to cough up the $4,000 that the midwives in our area charge. I have more or less let go of this idea, though, because I am pretty happy with The Birth Center, we don't really have a home-home (we live in an apartment and I can just imagine the neighbors wondering what the hell is going on upstairs and calling the police) and when it all comes down to it, as long as you have that baby in your arms, you really don't care where you are, just as long as everyone is well. I had my son in a hospital so I've gotten over that fear, more or less. Then this birth center has just been rebuilt. They built an entirely new building right next to the old one. It is much bigger and prettier than the old one and seems a bit more comfortable soooo...... we're gonna give it a whirl.

2) I am expecting that things should go pretty smoothly. I am sort of expecting to be up all night again (maybe) but that maybe the birth will go a bit faster than last time? I don't know. I am half expecting for this birth to go like Anastasia's (starting at 12 am, got to TBC at 2, broke my water at 4, vomit all over the place, squat to push the baby out, finally born at 7 am) and half expecting that it will go quicker. That would be so much fun not to be up all night long but I'm not holding my breath.

3) don't really know how to answer the third question (about preconceptions)

4)hopes, fears and concerns: this whole time I have been semi-worried that I might go early. Now that I am 35 weeks the fear is dissipating but none the less the LAST thing that I want is to have the baby and then have to leave s/he at the hospital for god knows how long. I just could never imagine giving birth to this person and not spending every single second there after with s/he bonding in bed.

I'm macrobiotic and part of our practice is that after one has a baby to spend at least two weeks in bed with the baby. We/I don't get up for any reason what so ever- not to shower, cook, do anything physical, talk as little as possiable, we don't read, knit, watch tv- just mom and baby. So an NICU stay would totally derail this bedrest stay! The last two days I have been feeling much better, though. I have just been feeling so much pressure in my body (is everyone familiar with yin and yang? I have been feeling extremely yang- much more so than in my other pregnancies) but I had four wedges of watermelon the other night and that was like a magic bullet. It made me relax so much- mentally and physically. In Eastern medicine one of the emotions related with the Kidneys is fear (when the kidneys are a bit out of wack- maybe if some one is eating too much salt or too simply, ehem, like I am prone to do) Watermelon is yin. I guess it made me relax somewhat. I can't wait to get to the store and buy another watermelon (my son has also been going crazy over the watermelon, too) So I'm not so fearful as I have been these last months. God I am really going on and on, aren't I?

That's pretty much it as far as fears go. I really hope that I won't be GBS pos. (wasn't last time but you never know about these things) becasue I also don't want antibiotics pumped into my blood stream. I just hope that my mom gets here in time from Ohio to watch my kids and that my support people can make it to the birth in time. I hope that I don't go too too fast. Then I have this other fantasy of it going so quickly that I deliver at home. But...... I have a feeliing that it probably won't go that way.

Starting to feel sleepy again so I'll try sleeping.
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#4 of 11 Old 04-07-2005, 07:46 AM
 
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1- I am birthing at a "smaller" atlanta hospital... the only hospital in Atlanta with birthing tubs. I had my first 2 at Northside, where 18,000+ babies are delivered annually, so this new hospital will be a nice change.

2- I expect This birth tro be very difffernet for me. I had epidurals with my 1st 2. I have regretted getting teh epidural with dd#2 from the moment they inserted the medicine into my spine.. he didn;t even have the needle out, and I *knew* I had made the wrong decision.
I expect this birth to hurt, and I expect to draw on every bit of emotional and physical strength to get through it. But I know that i can do it, and I know that it is the best thing for me and my baby.
I have hired the crunchiest CNM in town, and I have hired a doula for teh 1st time. I have read LOTS of natural birth books, and I am surrounding myself with ladies who have sucessfully delivered naturally (unlike all of my mainstream friends who all had drugs)

3- I have GD, and I need insulin to keep my levels low. The OB partners in my MW's practice are treating me very medically..... I am already going in 2x per week.... once for a NST and once for a biophysical profile (I have my 1st today, after "failing" the nST on Tues b/c my baby normally very active was sleeping) I know that I will have a big baby... I am big, dh is tall, and my other kids were 9# and 9#12oz. I'm sure induction will be discussed. I will start taking 5-W, EPO in a few weeks.. and I will also get out my pump, get dh "busy", etc to try to encourage labor without pitocin.

4- I guess my biggest fear is the unknown, especially the unknown of *how* my labor will get started. I really want to avoid induction, yet I'm not sure how long is really safe for me to gestate.. I'm not scared of a big baby, but I am afraid that my placenta may break down earlier b/c of the sugar and insulin that I take... so I am afraid of how I will get into labor and get to 5cm. I just don;t wnat all kinds of interventions that will make labor more difficult and/or lead to a csection........

Gigi. Mommy to 3 girls.
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#5 of 11 Old 04-07-2005, 03:37 PM
 
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1) Where are you planning to birth?
I am planning on birthing at home here in Idaho Falls. DH thinks it would be cool to do it downstairs in "his" room (an empty room where he goes to meditate, has his music stuff, etc.). It's in the basement though and I'm not so sure about that. Right now I have visions of it happening in the living room or the kitchen.

2) What sort of expectations do you have for your birth?
My expectations are unrealistic. I am very obssessive compulsive so what I think and what not about birth are not true. If I were to get what I wanted though it would no one here but us (which we are pushing for...not answering the phone etc.), no mess, no pain, no two months to lose the weight. In fact everything would happen like I wash dishes. A little water on the floor and then everything is clean and dry. :LOL

3) What preconceptions do you expect might be challenged by your actual birth?
Probably the pain factor. DH keeps telling me what to expect in the mess department and the afterwards but no one can actually tell you about the pain.

4) Hopes, fears, concerns?
I hope it goes as planned by my obssessive qualities have deemed it will. I don't have any fears but that I guess scares me. I think at this point I should, but there is nothing there. My concerns are more towards my husband. He seems to be pretty nervous about it and I know that's mainly cause he feels uneducated in what he has to do. I just hope that nervousness goes away and if it doesn't I hope it doesn't rub off on me.

Give more**Expect Less
There is no such thing as bad weather. Only bad clothing.
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#6 of 11 Old 04-07-2005, 05:46 PM
 
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1) Where are you planning to birth?
At home in my townhome. We've already warned both the neighbors on either side of us :LOL My midwife is bringing a birthing tub to set up. Though we haven't decided which room we'll put it in yet...

2) What sort of expectations do you have for your birth?
I try not to have any expectations, but alas, I'm a dreamer so what can I say... I expect things to be a bit chaotic (just like my life). I think DH is still in some sort of denial about the whole thing actually happening. I think he's going to be really stressed out when it becomes "real". And then there is the fact that my mom is going to try to jump on a plane as soon as she knows I'm in labor and try to get from Orange County, CA to Portland, OR and make it in time for the birth. Also, DSD says she wants to witness the birth, but then sometimes she thinks she may not want to... so she'll either be going to stay with a friend, or she'll be staying home with us. There are a lot of unknowns, and unknowns lead to chaos, hopefully semi-organized chaos.

3) What preconceptions do you expect might be challenged by your actual birth?
I keep telling myself that I'll be able to handle the pain easily... I guess we'll see how that one goes.

4) Hopes, fears, concerns?
I hope for a not too overly chaotic, peaceful, relaxing, painless birth.
I fear losing my strength and letting fear take over.
I'm concerned about having a healthy baby and birth.

Jenn, future midwife, mama to 2 sweet girls (6/05) and (5/07). 
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#7 of 11 Old 04-08-2005, 03:51 AM
 
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this is so interesting. thank you for starting this anna, and thank you to everyone who posted.

for myself
1) Where are you planning to birth?
i am planning to birth at home with my husband, midewives and possibly my MIL, who had a homebirth herself.

2) What sort of expectations do you have for your birth?
this is my first time so it is all my imaginings at this point. but having faced situations that required a great deal of work and the confidence not to give up, i think i know a bit of how i am.

i expect that (if i can stay out of my own way) my body, which is totally designed for this will take over. my pregnancy has gone well. i need to have faith in my body and not forget how strong i am.
i also expect that i will have doubts and that i will need reassurance. i expect that i may feel like i have to do it all myself and forget to ask for support. i also expect that i will cry with relief when the support is there.

i expect it is going to hurt and that it is going to be work and that i will be so tired. but i will also be so excited and ready to see the baby that i will want to keep going. i hope that my husband can help me stay in the moment so i don't get discouraged. i hope that he will be sympathetic when it really hurts, because if i don't feel like i am alone i can bear so much more.

3) What preconceptions do you expect might be challenged by your actual birth?
it is all preconceptions at this point. i sure that the entire experience is going to challenge what i am imagining right now. i think that big thing is that i don't get distracted by ideas, and stay in the moment responding to what is actually happening.

4) Hopes, fears, concerns?
weird "being a hostess for the homebirth" fears--like that there will be food for everyone to eat, that parking isn't a pain for the midwives and having the house clean enough.

money fears...that all the checks that we are waiting for come so that we can afford to buy all the necessary supplies and groceries that we should have on hand for the birth. i am scared the baby will be early and we'll be totally broke. (see hostess fears above..)

i am also worried that i will get angry if it hurts too much and get mean and start fighting any help or support that is offered.

i hope that this experience will help me see how strong i can be--that i can do great things.

i hope that all my choices---this man as my husband, this time and this baby, these midwives, this place will support me and calm my fears. i hope that i can be happy in the moment.

(ok, that was much more emotional than i expected. what did i say about crying during labor...i better watch out, so i stay hydrated.)
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#8 of 11 Old 04-08-2005, 12:51 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by annakiss

1) Where are you planning to birth?
I am planning a homebirth at my mothers house, the house I grew up in. Our current home is really to small, but if I wake up in active labor at 1am we will stay here. I am planning a water birth as well, another reason for my Moms. She has a huge pool & jacuzzi outside & the thought of laboring outside is very appealing to me. There will be a birth tub inside if it turns cold.

Quote:
2) What sort of expectations do you have for your birth?
I want to heal from my past births. DS birth was very tramatic pitocin birth in a bed where I could not move and an epidural that failed. Doc & nurse were very disrespectful to me as well, I felt very alone as the only support I had was DH and he was useless. I am looking forward to being surrounded by strong birthing women at this birth. I can not wait to push this baby out & put her into my arms & hug & kiss & love on her!

Quote:
3) What preconceptions do you expect might be challenged by your actual birth?
I am visualizing a painless birth. I know women whom have had them. I think that may be not realized. We will just have to wait & see. I am praticing my hypnobirthing & relaxation techniques. Just being upright for this birth I know will make everything different. I hope the water brings the relief I have read & heard about.

Quote:
4) Hopes, fears, concerns?
My biggest fear that I work on daily is that this baby will not survive birth. I have talked to my midwife & doulas about it. I am not sure why I think about this. I know my baby is healthy & I do visualize life with her here. I have decided that each time I have this thought, I will give it to God to take it away. I pray that God has given me a healthy baby girl to mother. Every time I feel her move I thank him for her.
I hope to really heal from bad birth experiences. I hope that I have a successful breastfeeding relationship, whatever that may be.
There is slight concern for hospital transfer. I have a uterine scar & I know I have a <1% of rupture. I think hosptial transfer would probabaly happen more for stagnent labor than anything else. (Need to get rid of the fear so I can open! KWIM?)

Cristina - "If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded." Maya Angelou
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#9 of 11 Old 04-08-2005, 01:11 PM
 
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1) Where are you planning to birth? C-section

2) What sort of expectations do you have for your birth? That they support me more this time after then with my DD.

3) What preconceptions do you expect might be challenged by your actual birth?

4) Hopes, fears, concerns? Not sure here yet.. I guess I am a bit lost lol
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#10 of 11 Old 04-08-2005, 02:30 PM
 
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1) Where are you planning to birth?

At a Kaiser Permanente hospital. I switched from the one close to my house to another one where it is supposedly more of a birth center environment. I haven't toured it yet, but I do really like the main midwife there.

2) What sort of expectations do you have for your birth?

I expect that DH, my doula and I will have to fight and bargain with Kaiser to refuse some interventions or routine procedures but that my Hypnobabies preparation and all the reading I have done will make me feel a lot more in control than I would otherwise. We don't plan to go to the hospital until the last minute.

3) What preconceptions do you expect might be challenged by your actual birth?

Well, who knows how I will feel once I start having real pressure waves. I really hope I don't jump the gun and race to the hospital (I don't think I will). One preconception that I really hope will be challenged is that having a baby in a hospital without drugs and unnecessary intervention, and in a gentle environment, will be a struggle. I'd LOVE to have that one challenged!

4) Hopes, fears, concerns?

My hope is that I will have a lovely, gentle birth for my daughter, left alone by the medical staff as much as possible. My fears are that she will remain posterior and I will have back labor which will make it harder to concentrate or that Kaiser will use my GD diagnosis to try and foist a lot of interventions on me. A big fear is that they will test Nora's blood sugar after birth and give her glucose if it is low instead of letting her breastfeed. I am actually very afraid of all aspects of giving birth in a hospital, but I am not afraid at ALL of the actual physiological process of giving birth. THAT I am really looking forward to! (Although I would really prefer to avoid back labor.)

~Teb
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#11 of 11 Old 04-09-2005, 04:46 PM
 
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Quote:
1) Where are you planning to birth?
At a birthing center attached to a local hospital here in Dayton. I'm planning a water birth with DH present.

Quote:
2) What sort of expectations do you have for your birth?
That the water will help me cope with the pain so I won't feel the need for medication intervention this delivery. I'm hoping it goes fast because my first labor was only 9 hours from start to baby out! At the same time, I hope it's not so fast that we can't find someone to watch our daughter! lol.

Quote:
3) What preconceptions do you expect might be challenged by your actual birth?
I'm hoping nothing pops up during delivery that will prevent me from at least laboring in the water (Grace passed her meconium before delivery which is what ended up with me laboring on my back last time which was horrible.) I want an "easy" birth with my husband being totally supportive and focused on me, and I want an easy start to my life with little baby 'cause Grace was taken away right after delivery before I ever got to see her to be examined by the NICU to be sure she hadn't asperated the meconium and it was almost 10 minutes before anyone even confirmed with us that she was indeed a girl. :LOL I want to be able to hold my baby and kiss her and nurse her right away.

Quote:
4) Hopes, fears, concerns?
Fears that the baby will come up with something to change how I want to labor last minute lol... that I'll go through labor so fast no one will be able to watch Grace and DH will miss it and I'll have to labor alone... That the water really won't help with my pain and I'll just have a really painful delivery while wet.
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