I didn't think I had Postpartum depression because I don't really feel sad like I usually do when i'm depressed. I have struggled with depression since I was 17 and it runs in my family deeply. I actually figured i'd end up with PPD, but still didn't recognize the signs until now, at 11 weeks PP. I had some prenatal depression in the beginning of my pregnancy, but it went away after a while. It was totally different from the way I feel now.
I don't feel like myself. I'm having thoughts i've never had before. I keep having these crazy fantasies that run through my head all day of hurting my baby. It makes me feel like a bad mother. How could I feel this way? I love my baby. She's very sweet and smiles all the time. She's not overly fussy. She only fusses when hungry or if she has gas. I don't want to hurt her. The thoughts that run through my mind scare me to no end. I'm terrified that i'll snap and hurt my baby. I scheduled a doctor's appointment for the soonest they can get me in (next week). I want to get on meds. I can't handle these thoughts. I just need some relief... at least until I can get all the counseling I need. My doctor will refer me to someone i'm sure so I can get counseling. What can I do right now, to cope? I just want to be myself again.
My mother is living with me right now and helping me and DH out. DH is out to sea though, so i'm alone some of the time when my mom is at work.
I don't feel like myself. I'm having thoughts i've never had before. I keep having these crazy fantasies that run through my head all day of hurting my baby. It makes me feel like a bad mother. How could I feel this way? I love my baby. She's very sweet and smiles all the time. She's not overly fussy. She only fusses when hungry or if she has gas. I don't want to hurt her. The thoughts that run through my mind scare me to no end. I'm terrified that i'll snap and hurt my baby. I scheduled a doctor's appointment for the soonest they can get me in (next week). I want to get on meds. I can't handle these thoughts. I just need some relief... at least until I can get all the counseling I need. My doctor will refer me to someone i'm sure so I can get counseling. What can I do right now, to cope? I just want to be myself again.
My mother is living with me right now and helping me and DH out. DH is out to sea though, so i'm alone some of the time when my mom is at work.