We're TTC and the one thing I am dreading is the PPD. I get really horrible anxiety, and I struggle with depression anyway. When ds2 was born it was so amazing I could actually pinpoint the PPD taking over, like a switch was flipped.
DH and I were eating a "celebration" dinner about 22 hrs. after the baby was born. I was so happy, just ecstatic at the start of the dinner. 1/2 way through I started feeling anxiety and just burst out crying and couldn't stop for days. I guess this was my milk coming in, and it eased up a little after 2-3 weeks but the anxiety was still debilitating.
I tried exercise (45min high cardio 6 to 7 days a week) for months and it only took the edge off. The only thing that got me through was knowing I would never have to go through it again, since ds2 was our "last baby"
. I eventually went on zoloft for about 2 months and it seemed to help. By that time it was almost a year and the PPD seems to clear for me around that time anyway.
I feel like PPD stole my kids' babyhoods and all I want is to enjoy it this time. I still don't like the idea of taking an antidepressant while pg/bf but I will do it if it will keep me from feeling that way and I can be sure it won't cause problems (immediate or long-term) for the baby. It's such a hard choice to make and I would really appreciate the advice of anyone who has been there or knows about it.
note: I'm also struggling with chronic Lymes which is known to flare after birth and cause severe PPD. I'll be on antibiotics my entire pregnancy and while bf...