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#1 of 7 Old 10-12-2009, 02:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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So it's been a week, I'm not sure if which drugs matter, but she is now slowly going up on Lamictal, taking Clonopin and Ambien at night, and a lower dose of Seroquel (150mg).

It's, good, bad, and ugly, sometimes she's fine, sometimes she's not, it's been up and down, while the group sessions seem to help pass the time, she doesn't seem to be getting much from them, it seems to be that she knows all the "things you should be doing" in fact even, according to her, she rattles off lists of the things you should be doing and how you should be doing it, however, getting her to DO those things, that seems to be where the key is.

Some things are better, the shaky feelings that were waking her in the morning seem to have gone, the drowsy, but feeling agitated and needing to move, seems to have gone, so positives there. However, she's still utterly worried about the medications, worried about what the diagnosis is (I gather this is something that apparently doctors HAVE to give a diagnosis to get insurance to pay for things, however, I keep telling her, doesn't matter WHAT the diagnosis is, they all think she should be taking the same medication) . It hasn't been THAT helped by one of the Hospital Dr's saying that she should stop taking the Klonopin because she might get addicted to it, yeah, thanks for that, she's finally getting some sleep, she's already paranoid about getting addicted and continues to be "well, yeah, I'm getting a little sleep now, but it's all because of drugs, it's not REAL sleep"

Anyway, we'll see what tomorrow brings, while I don't feel like she's "actively" suicidal, I feel like if a situation presented itself, at a point where she was feeling really down, then things might go badly. But, I guess if the Dr's feel she's safe enough to come home, well, I guess that's what's going to happen.
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#2 of 7 Old 10-12-2009, 11:50 AM
 
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Well, if you, as her husband, feel that she is at risk, you should tell the doctors that. You should make your opinion known because you know her better than anyone else.

She sounds very very smart, and very very OCD. Very common. It frankly doesn't matter whether the sleep is "real" or drug induced.... it's sleep. Her body doesn't know the difference.

She may never like taking meds. I never did. But once I was on them for a while, I got to the point where I realized I NEEDED them, whether I liked it or not. She needs a steady course of meds, for a period of time like 6-8 weeks, and steady therapy, in order to get to the place where she recognizes that she needed them.

Her diagnosis doesn't matter. But if the meds are helping, that is what matters. It sounds like she is smart enough that she is getting around the system in some ways. But she needs to surrender to the therapy, to the meds, and know that the alternative is pretty grim right now.

I appreciate the update, I come here to check on you two all the time. Know that we care.

Mom to two beautiful boys, now in school to be a therapist and help other women with PPD.  
 

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#3 of 7 Old 10-12-2009, 12:42 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mom0810 View Post
She may never like taking meds. I never did. But once I was on them for a while, I got to the point where I realized I NEEDED them, whether I liked it or not. She needs a steady course of meds, for a period of time like 6-8 weeks, and steady therapy, in order to get to the place where she recognizes that she needed them.

Her diagnosis doesn't matter. But if the meds are helping, that is what matters. It sounds like she is smart enough that she is getting around the system in some ways. But she needs to surrender to the therapy, to the meds, and know that the alternative is pretty grim right now.

I appreciate the update, I come here to check on you two all the time. Know that we care.
Agreed! I've also been checking in a lot to see how things are going. Also agree that you should talk with the docs about your concerns, because you know her better than anyone else.

Proud mama to DD#1 (11) DS (4) and DD#2 ( 2 )
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#4 of 7 Old 10-12-2009, 12:59 PM
 
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Wanted to add that she may always resent the meds. It's normal, especially for someone with OCD and anxiety, because she will always question whether she "really" needed them... no matter what the people around her see. For me, knowing I needed meds came when my family saw such a huge difference in me. I hadn't seen it yet.

And I will tell you the moment it became very clear. I realized my young son (then about 14 months) was smiling at me all the time. I realized he hadn't been. Do you know why? Because I wasn't smiling at him. THAT was a shocker and really put things in to perspective for me. I knew I needed those meds to make me smile. For my son.

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#5 of 7 Old 10-12-2009, 03:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah, I'll figure something out... not to get political, but it's where I have an argument with the GOP (for anyone in the US) they keep screaming about how healthcare should be between a patient and there Dr, and that the government shouldn't be involved, well that's all great, but right now it's not between a patient and the Dr, it's between a patient, there Dr, and the Insurance company...

I'm hoping that maybe some home time might actually help her, she seems really bored in Hospital, which isn't helping because she has lots of time to stew about things, not great... her extended family has been helping (through all this discovered that one of her cousins DEFINITELY has had/got bipolar) especially her cousin who seems to have gone through some of it (although he had more classic bipolar, spending spree's, spending money he didn't have, etc etc).

I'll talk to her later today and see how she feels, I do wonder if the last day or two of feeling bad has been more because they are going to discharge her, and while she doesn't like being in hospital (bored etc) she does feel safe there and able to "take chances" with taking medication and such.
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#6 of 7 Old 10-12-2009, 03:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Wanted to add, that I guess I don't know at what level it's considered time to be in a hospital vs not, back in my late teens/early 20's I definitely had some suicidal tendencies, definitely felt some of that black despair, did I ever act on it, no, did I ever think/plan to act on it, yes, should I have been in hospital, I would say no personally, but therapists/Dr's might disagree.
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#7 of 7 Old 10-12-2009, 03:55 PM
 
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I'm glad they're getting her meds straightened out! The worry of getting addicted to klonopin is a real worry, BUT that would mean she would be taking more than prescribed and taking it when she didn't need it.

The number of mgs in the Lamictal and Seroquel can SEEM high, but there is always someone on a higher dose of something. And someone on a lower dose. I was taking 150 mgs of Lamictal before I felt better. One doctor thought I should stop at 100 mgs and keep taking an antidepressant. But what ended up working for me was dropping the antidepressant and increasing to 150 mgs of lamictal. And that's ok.
I also know someone taking 300 mgs of lamictal. This person is shorter, thinner and about 10 years younger than me.

The goal, and it can be hard to accept, but the goal of the medication is to help straighten out your brain chemicals and some people need more than the "usual" theraputic dose. And just to echo, no the diagnosis doesn't matter to anyone but the doctors and insurance company (sadly). The disease effects everyone differently, she just has to 'relearn' normal.

~Autumn~   Mama to whistling.gif (2001) and hearts.gif(2005) partners.gif madly in love since '99 
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