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11-12-2009, 12:18 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Central MA
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I feel so crummy. I have that awful feeling you get after a long-awaited trip. The post-vacation let-down. The baby is here, and he is awesome, but I am so sad and anxious. When I was pregnant, I kept saying "I can't wait till the baby gets here- nothing else matters but healthy kids." Now I am going through all kinds of junk- an impending foreclosure, etc. Back to reality. If the phone rings and it is our mortgage company wanting to know where their money is, I feel like I can't function for the rest of the day. I get this gloomy feeling like a black cloud over my head. Today I shut my cell phone off so I can try to have a normal day.
I really have a decent life. My husband loves us and is a good provider. I am currently a SAHM (for at least a month or 2 postpartum). My family is nearby and is very supportive of us. I have 2 beautiful, healthy children. My pregnancy weight is coming off nicely. But, I have struggled with depression my whole life. Maybe my zoloft needs to be increased... which is the other thing that is making me crazy. The OB's office keeps calling to see if I have gotten in touch with a therapist. They call at least 3x/day. I want to say "STOP BUGGING ME, I will call when I have a chance!" Of course I should call, but I feel like it is putting more pressure on me.
I guess I just needed to vent. I am going to call the therapist. Obviously I need it.
Kerri, mom to Doran (born still 7/6/05 at 33 weeks), Mairaed (11/16/07), 11/15/08 at 10 weeks, Kieran (11/2/09). 1/11/11 at 15 weeks