Things seem to be (slowly) improving. I am less irritable than I was, and I don't feel quite so isolated. I've made it a point to connect with my oldest more, and I've really focused on nutrition (it's amazing the benefit more healthy fats in my diet have on my mood!)
I checked into finding a therapist, but those with whom I might feel comfortable talking feel that it would be a conflict of interest to see me. I live in a tiny town, and to get to there is about an hour's drive. There aren't any other options, so I really am largely on my own in terms of that. However, I also spoke with the APRN there, and if I feel things aren't improving, or are getting worse, she'll start me on some meds- it'll just be a matter of finding something I can tolerate that doesn't get in the way of breastfeeding.
Also, I decided to do something I've wanted to do for years, and looked into getting a puppy to train as a therapy dog. Money is tight for us, but I found a breeder who was selling a pet-quality puppy and was willing to take small payments on him. I'm generally a huge fan of getting puppies/dogs from the shelter, but for this purpose, I wanted to make sure I knew the complete background and was able to really work on socializing him as I want. I've set a goal of having his certification as a therapy dog by he time he's 18 months old, so that gives me something outside of mommy land to focus on as well.http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v9...tion/020-5.jpg
Now all he needs is a name.