I am 22 weeks pregnant with # 5 and have had a really tough pregnancy. For starters, the pregnancy was a bit of a surprise (I am 42) and came immediately after a terrible bout with the flu that landed me in the hospital for nearly 2 weeks. My first trimester was sheer hell (nonstop nausea and fatigue) which was also a surprise since I was never sick like that in any of my other pregnancies. I have several major life stressors at the moment, including a hella stressful job (a good job but tremendously stressful) and an 18 year old child struggling with some major problems. Last but not least, in the five years leading up to this pregnancy, I experienced multiple first trimester miscarriages, which have made it very hard for me to bond with my pregnancy/baby and to believe I am really going to leave the hospital with a healthy newborn.
Despite all these stressful things, I have a great husband and family, lots of good friends and excellent health overall. Generally speaking, life is good. Yet for the past four months I have felt a creeping depression coming over me. I have never experienced real depression in my life except as situationally appropriate (death in the family, etc). Depression does run in my family, so this had me feeling very nervous. I finally spoke to my wonderful OB about it at my visit this week because it was getting pretty bad - interfering with my ability to mother my other kids and do my job. He was great and helped me realize just how anxious I am about the outcome of this pregnancy. It doesn't help that I have an anterior placenta and am having trouble feeling any fetal movement at all. Anyway, as of five days ago, I am taking Zoloft. I am very hopeful that I will begin to feel some relief from the medication soon but so far, I actually think I feel MORE depressed. Today I am having to work from home because I just couldn't deal with being in the office, yet I am still getting far too little accomplished. This depression is definitely putting me behind at work and that just stresses me out even more.
I am hoping to hear from some other mamas who maybe went through a pre-partum depression like this and managed to kick it before the baby was born. Did you take medication? If so, how long did it take to start working? I wake up every day hoping that the Zoloft will kick in that day but instead I feel even worse.
Thanks to anyone who cares to share her own story with me. I am really struggling and this isn't like me at all.