Can a baby come with you to a mental institution? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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#31 of 48 Old 05-11-2010, 05:52 PM
 
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Hi,
I'm not a regular on this board, but I saw this post on the front page and wanted to reach out. I'm also in Snohomish County, I don't have a day job, I have a pretty reasonable amount of free time during the week, and I'd be happy to help. If you just need company, or someone to go for a walk with, or someone to sit in a therapist's waiting room with your baby while you go in for an appointment, I am willing to help. I know more than one mother who has suffered with PPD and have clinical depression in my family. I know how real it is and how awful it can get.

Please feel free to PM me and I will give you my personal contact info. And FYI: I have friends who attend 2 different UU churches in the area, so we may know someone in common.

-MQ

SAH Princess, happily married to my adorable Nerf Herder

brokenheart.gif 2009 Expecting my rainbow1284.gif in November 2013

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#32 of 48 Old 05-11-2010, 11:19 PM
 
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If you husband is in the military you should talk to him and tell him to ask one of his superiors what to do sometimes they will let guys go home under special circumstances. I only say this because I have known a few women do similar things and cps has taken their kids and the dads even had a hell of a time getting them back and the dads were in iraq deployed and had nothing to do with it and couldn't help them. There is no support for us as spouses with depression really (military one source is good though) we're mostly just expected to deal. Dont deal with it get a family practice appt and get some meds asap I would never say this but you cant leave your dd esp if your dh or family isnt there she will go into the system. I had a severe panic attack when my husband was gone the last time and thank GOD my sister was visiting us in alaska. There was a lot going on in our family deaths etc and I was alone in alaska with 4 kids and just so traumatized they were kind enough to let my dh come home because they didnt really need him where they were and they knew what was going on. I'm a tough cookie too and did 3 deployments with my husband gone to afghan prior so I know how to cope mostly. The first thing the emt asked me was is your husband deployed...so that right there tells ya something. Anyway I have been a military wife geez forever and I am a veteran so I sympathize with you mama. Talk to your doc before anything ask them to give you some meds, I wouldnt normally say that but if your situation is desperate do what you can to cope and if that means meds there is no harm in it. I had to swallow my pride years ago and just tell my doc to get them. I'm ok and you will be too.

 Jess mom to 5!!! 3 boys 2 girls and another girl on the way edd jan 31st! I have a Disabled veteran husband
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#33 of 48 Old 05-12-2010, 02:46 AM
 
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Call military one source! They can get you free help and they are fast about it too!

Army wife to wonder hubby. Mama to 4 and Surrogate mother x2.: Zoey Born 5/7/2010
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#34 of 48 Old 05-14-2010, 04:58 PM
 
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#35 of 48 Old 06-04-2010, 09:07 AM
 
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updates from the OP?

*hugs* I had to "lose it" in front of others too and you know what, they came to my rescue in ways I couldn't imagine.

I know you said your family is "too busy" but did they ACTUALLY say that? What would be the worst that could happen if you called and said "Mom, I am checking into an institution, you need to take dc"?

I know for me, PPD and general depression, made me feel like I was a burden on everyone and so I avoided even asking for help. In the end, though, no one knew I was suffering. I had to let go and beleive that ppl, even strangers, were more than willing to help, just like I would ddrop everything to help them.

FWIW, I called a crisis hotline too and it was such a breath of fresh air! being able to talk to someone let out some steam and relieved a lot of my load.

s to you

hope to hear back soon!

Helping women overcome postpartum depression and birth trauma. http://www.postmommyhood.com

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#36 of 48 Old 06-04-2010, 01:16 PM
 
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There's only one program in the US that will let you bring a baby with you.

University of North Carolina
http://www.womensmentalhealth.org/po...tpartum-women/
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#37 of 48 Old 06-04-2010, 02:27 PM
 
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In Edmonton Alberta Canada, The salvation army runs a sober living facility where moms and kids can stay and recover. It like a sober living apartment with therapy provided from 9-5 and 24 hour staff. My friend stayed there for awhile while pregnant and with her newborn baby. She got a year clean before moving out on her own. That was OT.

However the hospital here does have outpatient programs. Maybe sign up for one of those.

Quote:
Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy View Post
The mental institutions around here have day hospital programs. So you'd go from 9-5pm or whatever, just like it's a job... and your baby could stay with a sitter or in daycare & you could still see her at night. I would try calling a few places to see if they have something like that. I tried googling it but I'm on the east coast & not familiar at all with WA, maybe someone in FYT could help.

ETA: I did see someone go to drug rehab with their baby once on Oprah... but I think that is unusual. And honestly, having spent a lot of time in psychiatric facilities myself, I would NOT want my kid in that setting. There are people there who are not only depressed or suicidal but also homicidal and/or prone to violent outbursts... I wouldn't feel comfortable bringing my baby into that.

Me(33), Mama to a crazy DD (6), Wife to a wonderful mountain man(32) BF my babe for 2 years.
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#38 of 48 Old 06-04-2010, 03:53 PM
 
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(((Kara))) You are right, it is hard to build community here. I've been here for more than two years now, and although I would say I have "friends," I almost never see them, and I am lonely more often than not. It doesn't help that I have trouble reaching out to make plans. I go to LLL meetings when I can, and Mom's Night Out if it works for my dh, but... Yeah.

For sure, seeing a counselor will help. I really like Juliana Nason Ashe, but I don't know if she is accepting new patients. I found flower essences to help. Exercise to manage the anxiety. Regular sleep, which I know has been an issue for you. Has that improved any over the past two months?

Let me know if you want to get together.

Laura, mama to J (15), N (12), E (9) , M (6), and our little caboose, R (3).
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#39 of 48 Old 06-04-2010, 10:47 PM
 
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OP where in sno county are you? I'm in Brier and would be happy to get together and help if I can. I'm working so my hours are not plentiful, but I would be happy to help. PM me

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#40 of 48 Old 06-05-2010, 02:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by laurata View Post
(((Kara))) You are right, it is hard to build community here. I've been here for more than two years now, and although I would say I have "friends," I almost never see them, and I am lonely more often than not. It doesn't help that I have trouble reaching out to make plans. I go to LLL meetings when I can, and Mom's Night Out if it works for my dh, but... Yeah.

For sure, seeing a counselor will help. I really like Juliana Nason Ashe, but I don't know if she is accepting new patients. I found flower essences to help. Exercise to manage the anxiety. Regular sleep, which I know has been an issue for you. Has that improved any over the past two months?

Let me know if you want to get together.
Tricare doesn't accept Juliana, unfortunately. I don't have the energy to exercise, though I've tried for years and years now. Sleep has not gotten better. We attempted to partially nightwean when my husband was home briefly, but now he is gone again and I am back to getting less sleep. I have trouble reaching out, too. I have trouble even actually going to the events. I am so ridiculously lonely, and yet I have opportunities to get together with other moms and I don't go. I don't want to, I can't bring myself to do it. One on one is easier...it's groups that make me feel even worse. Nothing like being in the middle of a group of people who all know each other and feeling totally alone, you know?

To everyone else...I still haven't seen a counselor, as they are all booking several weeks out still. I need to just call one and make an appointment for a month from now and be done with it, but my thoughts are so foggy and scattered during the day...with my husband gone, I'm going going going all day just trying to keep afloat, and by the time I'm thinking of calling, it's 10 pm. Military One Source's website says they are not equipped to deal with serious issues so I haven't called them. I am contemplating moving back to Florida, even though it isn't what I want to do...at least I have some people here, whereas here, I have nobody. I appreciate all of the responses and offers for help. Right now, my daughter is the one keeping me holding on. I don't want her to be alone or scared, so I need to keep it together for her. I can't have a breakdown, I can't go to a facility. I need to stay strong for her.

Single mama to S ~ 6/09

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#41 of 48 Old 06-06-2010, 12:24 AM
 
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Kara,

first hugs and love. We are thinking of you and hoping you find a good solution for you and your dear one. It looks like her birthday is this coming week. Congratulations for your year of mothering! I hope you can get together one on one with some of the previous posters who are offering to spend time with you and make an appointment. Keep us updated and keep sharing. We care.
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#42 of 48 Old 06-06-2010, 02:54 AM
 
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Can you contact the minister at the UU church you've been attending to help out at least until you can get in to see a therapist? You shouldn't have to be a church member to get their help. They are usually willing to drive out to see you and meet one on one.

I am going to PM you.

I am a 40 year old unschooling, belly dancing, artist-mama of one almost 8 year old. I just had brain surgery and blogging.jpg about it a bit because it's just so surreal.
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#43 of 48 Old 06-06-2010, 02:57 AM
 
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"I have trouble even actually going to the events. I am so ridiculously lonely, and yet I have opportunities to get together with other moms and I don't go. I don't want to, I can't bring myself to do it. One on one is easier...it's groups that make me feel even worse. Nothing like being in the middle of a group of people who all know each other and feeling totally alone, you know?"

This leads me to believe you may be an introvert as well as having trouble with PPD. There is an introvert thread in the MDC Tribes area you might want to check out.

I am a 40 year old unschooling, belly dancing, artist-mama of one almost 8 year old. I just had brain surgery and blogging.jpg about it a bit because it's just so surreal.
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#44 of 48 Old 06-06-2010, 03:09 AM
 
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Hi Kara. I sent you a PM.

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#45 of 48 Old 06-06-2010, 03:22 AM
 
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This link has PPD resources in your general area.

http://www.ccf.wa.gov/ppd/support_groups.htm

I'm not sure where you are exactly, but the Everett group meets twice a month, is FREE and is facilitated by Juliana Nason Ashe, the therapist a previous poster suggested but was not on your insurance.

I took baby classes at Evergreen Hospital in Kirkland which were very good and very AP friendly (they turned us on to AP and co-sleeping actually). They also have a program called "This is Not What I Expected" which helps women with PPD.



I sent you a PM as well.

I am a 40 year old unschooling, belly dancing, artist-mama of one almost 8 year old. I just had brain surgery and blogging.jpg about it a bit because it's just so surreal.
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#46 of 48 Old 06-15-2010, 11:48 PM
 
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Kara-
Hugs to you-- hang in there and keep pushing yourself to get out and talk to other moms. It's great you joined the groups and you just have to go in there with the thought that everyone there has good days and bad days and you all want to support each other. Also, keep trying to get in touch with the counselor. Even though the place said they don't deal with "serious issues" call them. If moving to Florida with your support people is an option, I say do it. Can someone from Florida come and stay with you for a few weeks?

I have a history of depression and anxiety, so it wasn't surprising when I had PPD with #1. It wasn't anything really serious, but I did become very withdrawn (socially -- I am actually a very social, people-person type, but I felt too anxious and depressed to get out and do anything or ask for help) and had to go on medication. With #2, things took a different turn. I was more anxious than depressed and basically did have a breakdown (drs diagnosed me with "post partum psychosis"--yes lovely label.... Turns out I'm acutally bipolar, but that's a whole 'nother issue!) So, I know exactly where you are coming from right now.

My "breakdown" occurred right around the holidays when my dd was 4 months old. I was exclusively bfing her and didn't want to be admitted to the hospital. My husband's a medical prof. and works very long (often overnight) hours. So, I am mostly alone w/ the kids. Both of our families lived thousands of miles away. His family was able to come out when I became very ill to help care for the kids. If that wasn't an option, I don't know where I would have turned-- perhaps to a friend or member of our church? So, I didn't want to be admitted to the hospital, but there also was no place for me to be admitted (unless it's a life threatening emergency or you can pay alot of money for a special, private facility, the beds are very limited). So, I was sent home w/ really heavy meds and mostly slept for a few days. After that, I went to and outpatient treatment for a few weeks. That was really helpful because it allowed me to stay in my home (w/ the kids), but also get the help I needed. Since the outpatient treatment was at a local hospital, I'd imagine I could have arranged for some sort of child care if I needed it. Maybe they have something like that available to you?

I don't recall if you were taking any medications. A primary care doctor can prescribe some basics and maybe they could help you get in touch with the right therapist or psychiatrist too. I'm not a med pusher by any means. It was not something I wanted to do at all, but it was something that saved me.
To finish out my story... I will tell you it's been a long road-- it was a very difficult 2 years after dd#2 was born. Through alot of therapy, faith, and working with my family and friends, I could finally say I was "better" Now, 6 years after my "psychosis" I am med free!! I could never imagine i'd be able to learn so much about myself or use these new skills to improve my life.

Mom to DD(8), DD (6), and twin GIRLS due December 2010!
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#47 of 48 Old 07-07-2010, 03:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I wanted to update and say I'm feeling a bit better. I started taking Passion Flower Vine, which a friend told me helped her with PPD, and I've also started making some connections around here. Also, S is sleeping much better this week!! That sleep makes SUCH a huge difference! Things are not perfect, but better than they were at least

Single mama to S ~ 6/09

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#48 of 48 Old 07-07-2010, 10:27 PM
 
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Glad to hear you are feeling better. Sleep makes such a huge difference. Glad you are making some connections as well. Hang in there.

I am a 40 year old unschooling, belly dancing, artist-mama of one almost 8 year old. I just had brain surgery and blogging.jpg about it a bit because it's just so surreal.
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