I realize that counseling is really the best thing for a couple to do and we are looking into it now.....but I am so upset and emotional I need to be able to reach out in other ways.
My wife and I went through a very emotional I.V.F process to get my 10 month old son. We both love and adore him.....probably more because he was so difficult for us to get.
We recently have purchased a new home as well and have lived there for about a month.
Because of my job we are lucky enough that my wife can stay home and only works part-time on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. Mostly, to get out of the house and get some spare spending money. She loves the ability to spend quality time with my son.
She has had a tough time 'connecting' with our new house. It is a wonderfully large 5 bedroom farmhouse very modern with a large yard. But, she is saying it just doesn't feel like 'home' yet.
Last night she told me that she feels something is 'missing' in our marriage. She is saying that we don't communicate well anymore and that she doesn't know what is wrong. From her being overwhelmed.....to her not enjoying the marriage and anything in between....but she can't tell me what she thinks is wrong.
I was floored. I thought everything was going well for us.....between a new baby, new house, great cars, and jobs.
I haven't been perfect. Right before the procedure I was having inappropriate emails with a younger woman. Nothing ever happened....but I did contribute to the emails. She discovered them the day before the IVF procedure.
I can't tell you why I did it.....and I love my wife so very much. I got caught up in a 21 year old young lady who flirted with a 34 year old....and stroked my ego. I never would have acted on the emails.....and I have felt awful since then.
But, I also have tried to show her how much devotion I have for her. Between, back rubs, feet rubs, laughter, love, new baby, and new house....and I never have come close to anything like that again.
She forgave me when it happened 1 1/2 years ago....but she brought it up last night. I thought it was forgotten about and she never mentioned it again.
During this past 1 1/2 years I thought we were having a great marriage. I guess, I'm wondering if that one event has blown my life apart. Can her postpartum (which she believes she has) be a factor in her thinking about the emails again? What can I do to help reassure her??? She tells me she loves me and that she wants to work on our marriage....but just doesn't know what needs work. Can anyone offer some advice on what I can do to help my wife heal?