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Advice needed!!!

615 views 2 replies 2 participants last post by  tutucrazy 
#1 ·
I have a friend who had a little PPD after the birth of her son. She used zoloft for a few months and weaned herself when she felt better. She never had a problem after that but she has always gone to a therapist and paid very close attention to her mental health due to some past losses of loved ones and general life traumas. She is the kind of person who takes mental health very seriously.

In May/June her ex-boyfriend of 7 years and she broke up. She started to look for options for a new living arrangement and employment. Up to that point her and her boyfriend had lived together in Nashville. All her family is in another state and she has no familial support in TN. She was a stay-at-home mom and she practices peaceful, attachment parenting. I have been friends with her since 2005 and she is one of my best friends. She is an extraordinary woman and mother. In July she took her son to visit family in CT. She was sure to check with her juvenile court to see if she had the right to take her son out of the state. The juvenile court said that if a couple is not married then custody is automatically granted to the mother unless the father files for custody. While she was visiting her family and on her birthday the police showed up and presented her with a court order to give emergency custody of her son to the father. He had filed an emergency petition stating that the boy was in immediate danger under her care. Obviously he had not a shred of proof or evidence other than she had used zoloft for her PPD and that 7 years prior she checked herself into a woman's clinic for situational depression. It gets worse...

She was only granted supervised visitation 3 days a week (5pm-9am) at the first hearing which is in effect until the hearings come to an end. The first court date came and went. Her lawyer made a mistake and was not prepared for court. At the second hearing the father showed up 20minutes late and they were unable to get through all the testimonies. By the second hearing it had already been 2 months that this mom is without her child. Her friend who was the supervisor was fed up of this fiasco and said she no longer wanted to take part in this system that was hurting this boy and mother. She was left with no supervisor which equals no visitation. At the second hearing the court appointed advocate denied to release the supervised visitation based on the fact that she had not completed a 900 hour full mental health exam, which was not even court ordered. She did, however, complete a mental health intake exam, which was ordered by the court. The intake report noted that there were no known reasons why the boy could not be returned to the mother and that she appeared to be healthy and stable. Prior to the 2nd court hearing she had also secured an apartment and full-time job. The father doesn't even have a job and hasn't had one since 2007! She had to wait for an aunt to fly to TN to become her supervisor so she didn't get to see her boy but for 2 times since the last hearing. The aunt arrived yesterday. The next hearing is scheduled for October 11th.

I called the court appointed advocate (a retired, old man) and explained to him that it doesn't seem fair that she has to prove her innocence (meaning complete a 900hr mental exam) based on the flimsy allegations of an angry ex-boyfriend. There has been zero evidence or proof that she ever harmed or endangered her son. She has done nothing but take the appropriate steps to secure employment, an apartment, and cooperate with the courts by completing the mental health intake. The fact that she has taken care of her mental health by consistently seeing a therapist, and seeking help when she had PPD is being used against her. Even the voluntary visit to a woman's clinic from 7 years prior is being used against her. In the conversation I had with the advocate, he hinted to the fact that he knows about her past losses of family members when she was a TEENAGER!!! Even that is being used against her. This is a 33 year old woman!

My question is: Is there any PPD support group that might be interested in providing some assistance to this mother? We can't start taking kids away from good mothers just b/c they show a history of taking care of their mental health! I realize i only gave you the highlights but there is really nothing that could ever indicate that this mother is unfit. I mean this is the very person I would want to raise my son if something ever happened to me.

Her 2.5 yr. old. son is suffering. He his traumatized and losing trust in the one person who has cared for him since the day he was conceived. What can be done?
 
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#3 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by alicia9178 View Post
Why in the world and HOW in the world could they require a 900 hr mental health exam? I have never heard of that...that would take MONTHS if not over a year....something about that has to be incorrect.
The didn't order the 900 hour one they "recommended" it. They only ordered the basic intake exam which she completed. The other one should only be reserved for people who commit some type of act such as attempted suicide, neglect of the child due to mental illness, etc, etc. But the court appointed advocate (who is pretty old and out of touch) would not recommend the court give her unsupervised visits simply b/c she didn't do the 900hour exam. WTH? :?
 
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