How to get someone help with postpartum depression - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 4 Old 10-31-2010, 02:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get someone to talk to their doctor about postpartum depression when they don't that anything is wrong?
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#2 of 4 Old 10-31-2010, 02:29 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Also just to add....My sister in law has always had a strong willed personality, never the type to call you and start crying etc...They had their first child in July of 2009 and their second Aug 0f 2010. I was kinda worried about her after the first was born but she seemed fine after a little while and then they got pregnant with the second. so it was kinda like well is she moody etc from the first or is it pregnancy hormones kicking in. I have looked things up online about PPD and some of the symptoms I think she does have but whenever you try to mention anything to her about maybe her talking to her doctor about how she is feeling or whatever she gets mad and says that she is not crazy (and no one has ever implied that to her). She is the type that she is never wrong, she can do it all, I am in control etc...I just feel really bad for her when she calls me crying and upset and I live 500 miles away. And everything that upsets her she takes it out on my brother so it's causing a strain on there marriage. And he doesn't know what to do, he has tried sitting down and talking with her etc but it's like talking to a brick wall. Any suggestions would be very appreciated. Thanks!!
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#3 of 4 Old 10-31-2010, 11:11 AM
 
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One way I find works is to say something like: "Without getting help, where do you see yourself in 5 years? in 10 years? in 20 years? What does the future with your children look like? Where are they in 5/10/20 years? How are they with their children?" etc

Basically intensifying what the future would look like with the present behaviour/health/habits.

With PPD, we tend to think 'it'll go away' eventually or soon and so we don't look too far ahead because we are already overwhelmed right now, but looking at how today is affecting tmrrw especially with regard to our kids, may give her that push, even if not right away, it'll give her something to think about.

HTH!
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Helping women overcome postpartum depression and birth trauma. http://www.postmommyhood.com

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#4 of 4 Old 11-01-2010, 12:54 AM
 
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It sounds like she's afraid of the label. She obviously realized that something is wrong if she's calling you crying all the time. Maybe if you could help her see that her situation could improve without calling it depression.

The book "The Natural Guide to Pregnancy and Postpartum Health" taught me that almost anyone going through pregnancy and nursing (especially several times in few years) will have some nutritional deficits and some decrease in mental health. This author's answer is a specialized diet when I would rather use supplements (I just think it is too hard to get enough of the nutrients through food). But if you could convince your sil that you don't think she's crazy, you just think she's taken a hit from her situation. And she would likely feel better with, for example, better sleep, exercise, outdoor light, more personal time alone and some supplements, would she do it?

Since it sounds like her dh is on board, he could help a lot in making that happen. I would also send him to postpartum dads.

If you really want to push for the doctor, I would suggest asking her to take a test like the one in our sticky and finding some testimonials on the web (you could find some in this forum, I bet) from moms about what their experience with ppd was like and how they were much more like themselves again after getting treatment.

But in the end, you can't force someone to get help. Good luck. I've been in that situation before, trying to convince someone that there are ways to treat ppd, you don't have to live like this. It is really hard.
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