I'm sitting here, wondering if I should pick up the phone and call my doctor and admit to having possible post partum depression issues ...
I guess joining this forum and writing this post is my first step really. Like most people, I hate to bother the doctor if nothing is wrong ...
coupled with the fact that admitting to having mental issues is a hard thing to do.
My daughter was born 7 weeks ago, after 24 hours of labor, they finally took her via c-section. I love her to pieces, but I'm not myself anymore.
I feel sad a lot, I never seem to laugh much anymore and when I do it feels like its forced and not genuine on my part.I get mad a lot, at little things that shouldn't bother me, and I feel just a sense of apathy, like I could sit on the couch and watch TV all day long and that would be OK while the world passes me by.
I am bonding with my daughter, but sometimes I feel guilty almost, it's silly, over bringing her into this world, especially when she's asleep and she looks so innocent and I can't even pinpoint what it is about those moments that make me feel guilty.
And I feel guilty over other issues to, such as making her take a nap just so I can have some time alone (even though napping is GOOD for babies! See, logically, I can't figure myself out either...)
Anyway, I guess Im looking for validation that what I'm feeling may be postpartum related, even though I have a suspicion it might be.
As far as thoughts on suicide and death, I'm not actively seeking them. However... should the subject of death enter my mind, either via random topics on the news or something like that, I don't fear it like I should be, and that scares me. Is there anyone else who thinks like that?
Well, thanks for reading this. I've not brought this concerned up to anybody yet. I'm normally a very closed off person, I don't talk about
myself much at all, and I tend not to tell anyone when I feel sick of any kind so this is a big step. The fact that I'm crying right now while I'm writing this is probably a clue that something is wrong anyway...
Thank you all, I hope to find a good support group to exchange thoughts with.
Also, who am I supposed to call about all this? My obgyn or my regular doctor?
I think I feel like you, so maybe I have PPD too. I've not brought it up to anyone yet either. Thinking of calling my midwife to see if she could just refer me to a therapist. Don't want to go in to my doctor, I'm not very comfortable talking about it and would probably chicken out. I didn't have the traumatic birth you did but my relationship with my partner is falling apart. So I guess I'm depressed about that. I got my placenta encapsulated and just received it back today, maybe it'll help a bit.
Anyway, I know I'm not being very helpful to you. I think seeking help is the best thing to do, because if it is PPD it'll just get worse and it's super treatable. I hope you get lots of good advice on here, and find some help IRL.
...And when your deepest thoughts are broken,
keep on dreaming boy, cause when you stop dreamin' it's time to die.
I think the best place to start would be your obgyn. I contacted my midwives when I started to feel overwhelmed and they put me in contact with the right people. I have to say that it really helps to start talking about it or at least get the ball rolling. I know that these things can build if not treated early and the work will be harder, the longer your wait. My dd2 is 2 weeks and I have been feeling out of control with my thoughts for about a week now. Don't worry about bothering your doctor...that's what they are there for. I decided to take a wait and see approach on meds, but have started seeing a therapist once a week along w/ acupuncture and supplements. Like i said, just starting to talk about it all has helped a lot. I feel like my mind is out of my control at times, but it feels better knowing i have taken control in other ways (if that makes sense).
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