I have a 13 week old little guy and although I couldn't be happier with him in my life, I've started to realize that my anxiety is gettinng increasingly worse. I was on Zoloft for anxiety and depression for years, but stopped taking it when I found out I was pregnant. I literally feel nervous and overwhelmed 90% of the time and I always feel like I'm going to do something that isn't good for the baby, or that something will happen to the baby and it will be my fault, or just an overall fear that something is going to go wrong. I've tried putting these feelings aside, but they are growing more intense. I allow myself to have one night out a week where I can drink , etc... If I have anymore than two drinks I won't nurse for 24 hours, but I still feel incredibly guilty and then my anxiety gets worse. Has anyone had a similar experience to this? I know that I probably need to get back on medication, however, for me that means not breastfeeding, , b/c I worry so much about anything getting passed to the babe. Any words of wisdom or support would be SO appreciated ( if only for peace of mind...) Thanks moms!
It takes a lot to discuss your fears so making a post like this is a step in the right direction. It might be a good idea to eliminate alcohol for awhile until your emotions stabilize ... same for caffeine and any other stimulants or depressants. Drinking then holding off on breastfeeding will really mess with your head. Perhaps focus on keeping yourself well fed and rested and then to relieve stress try doing something for 20 minutes a day that gets your heart pumping. That way you don't have to put yourself on that rollercoaster of nursing and not nursing and worry. In my opinion it just isn't worth it.
In response to your anxiety I understand. It can be overwhelming to be completely responsible for someone so helpless. When you start to get a bad feeling share it with someone you trust or write it down in a journal. You would be amazed at how empowering it is to release a fear like that into the wild. Take your fears as a sign that you love your baby and you want what is best. If they are getting extreme take a second and jot them all down. Then after you see it or talk about it you might have the chance to uncover their source and work on what they are telling you.
I had a LOT of anxiety about my baby after she was born. You aren't alone. Take steps to care for yourself and establish some relationships where you can openly discuss your feelings and it will eventually get better. Have faith in your ability to be a good mother.
Thank you for the advice! Your probably right about not drinking for awhile.. it just gives me more to worry about. Even though I know I wait longer than needed for the alcohol to pass, it still gives me reason to worry.. ( I don't think I can give up my morining coffee yet though!!! haha).
I'm hoping that once my hormones settle the anxiety will subside... or eventually I will have to get back on meds. Thanks again!