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#31 of 50 Old 05-19-2004, 11:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
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O.k. ladies-time for me to be honest. I've drank 3 times in the past several weeks. I really wanted to make it thru my 6weeks w/out a drink and I didn't make it! :
I'm very disappointed in myself. As far as the drinking goes, I drank 2 glasses of wine on 2 occassions and 1 margarita when I actually got out without my babe. I know it's not a lot. I never moved beyond tipsy. I didn't feel very much from the drinking. I can't say I had a great time. It didn't really help. Mostly I drank cause everyone else was drinking, although I drank the first time cause I was horribly depressed. Anyway, it makes me sad. I'm upset with me and not quite sure what to do now. Blah.
Chrissy :

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#32 of 50 Old 05-19-2004, 04:07 PM
 
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Chrissy, I hope I didn't guilt that out of you, but I'm glad that you were honest, nonetheless. I think that if you are worried that your drinking is a problem, then it IS a problem and you should address it with your Psychiatrist and therapist as such. I'm surprised that your therapist dismissed your concern so easily. I grew up in a family with a dad who drank anywhere from 3 to 6 beers a night and more on the weekends. He was never rip-roarin drunk, but he was drunk enough to not be himself. He never thought it was a problem, but the rest of the family did. I'm sure that he thought that it was no big deal and that my brother and I never noticed when he had been drinking, but let me tell you, we did and it was very hard on us.

Over the past 10 years or so my dad has become a totally different person and rarely drinks anymore. We live five hours apart and talk on the phone weekly. I can tell just by talking on the phone if he has had a couple drinks or not because his personality changes, even if ever so slightly after just a bit of alcohol. If he has had more than a couple of beers I don't even want to talk to him because I know that it isn't him that I'm talking to, it's the alcohol. I know that this might not seem very relevent to you, but I just wanted to show you the flip side of the story -- the side that could be your children someday. I haven't even told you any of the specifics, like how my dad used to want to have "heart to heart" talks with me after drinking and would always proceed to tell me that how when my brother and I graduated from high school he was going to divorce my mother. That's a hard thing to lay on a 12 year old. He doesn't remember this at all, so evidentally he didn't realize the impact it had on me. Or how there was a year after I graduated and my parents had just divorced that we didn't talk. I could tell you story after story, but that would bore you.

Once we have children our actions no longer just impact us, they impact our family and have a great influence on who our children become. I would likely be a totally different person with less baggage if my dad hadn't drank. I don't dwell on it because I can't change it now, and I have a wonderful dh and a great family. Don't let drinking affect your family like it did mine. If you have any questions, or just want to talk, please PM me.
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#33 of 50 Old 05-19-2004, 04:32 PM
 
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I just want to add please be careful about drinking with effexor. I am on effexor an had a drink(my first in years) while out with the girls, and I was suicidal that night. It scared the crap out of me. A lot of ad's are not supposed to be mixed with alcohol, probably for this reason.

I am thinking of you.
Hugs, Debi

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#34 of 50 Old 05-19-2004, 05:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm starting to feel a bit like y'all think I'm a raging alcoholic or something. Please understand that I'd never put my baby in harms way or force him to deal with an alcoholic mother. I'm just a new mama who's trying to get it together. I had a scarey experience with alcohol several weeks ago and it's making me reconsider the choices I make. I have been honest with my therapist and I do think she's on the right track with me. It's far more about habit and a symptom of my PPD. As for my psychiatrist, she does know I drink we just haven't talked about it as an issue. I think over the past 6weeks I've been sort of exploring where the line is for me. I'm not sure I want to completely cut alcohol out of my life. I don't think there's anything wrong with a few glasses of wine. I just want to make sure I've got it under control and I'm drinking reasonably and with full thought and care. I think I have a connection to alcohol that is hard to break but it's much like my connection to sugar. I've been trying to stop eating sugary foods but every once in awhile, I slip and have a cookie. I feel guilty about it, of course but I go on. I just want some help and support in finding my line and making better choices. I want this to be an honest space for me to explore this issue.
And I thank you all for being there and responding.
Chrissy

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#35 of 50 Old 05-19-2004, 08:53 PM
 
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Hi Chrissy~I hope my post didn't make you think that...it definately wasn't my intention!! I totally understand what you are saying. I just wanted to make sure you knew how mixing alcohol and antidepressants could effect a person. I think my experience was pretty extreme, but it was scary!!

Hang in there, I think you are doing a great job. Debi

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#36 of 50 Old 05-19-2004, 11:10 PM
 
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It's OK, Chrissy--I think you are doing great--even to be able to "talk" about this here.

BTW, it was ME who was the one who never told the therapist about various things. Alcohol wasn't an issue at the time--it was other stuff. I was just wondering if this was common----to not feel comfortable sharing everything--I certainly didn't mean it specifically about SC's case. Dang--the internet is so hard sometimes--you know? Nothing comes out the way I mean it.

Hang in there, honey---at least you recognize that this could develop into a real "issue" for you. At least you are thinking about it.
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#37 of 50 Old 05-20-2004, 08:59 AM
 
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PLEASE let your doctor know if you're drinking alcohol at all- it can interact with meds!
The cookie thing really got my attention. Why the guilt? You can have a cookie, even while you're trying to stay away from sugar, and not have to buy a bakery! When you eat less sugar, you want less sugar. But when you'd really like a cookie, eat one cookie, enjoy it, and chill.
Or it tied to alcohol in that you wonder if that one cookie will get out of control?
((hugs))
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#38 of 50 Old 05-20-2004, 12:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey ladies-
Sorry if I was being sensative. I'm feeling guilty about drinking and just felt a little misunderstood for a minute. You know how it can be when you're online.
As far as the cookie analogy goes, I was saying that I think my relationship with alcohol is like the relationship to sweets. I want to resist but I get in the habit with sugar and then if I have a cookie I'm hard on myself. Same with alcohol. But, you're right, I can have a drink and not buy the liquor store
I really appreciate being able to come here and share and get differing opinions. I feel lots of love and support.
Thanks!
Chrissy

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#39 of 50 Old 05-20-2004, 06:25 PM
 
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Sugar, now there's MY addiction. I could go the rest of my life without ever having a drink of alcohol, but take away sugar and diet pop and I think I would be suicidal. Of course, sugar and aspertame are a vicious circle. Aspertame makes you crave sugar and carbs, as if I didn't already crave them enough already. I tried to give up pop for lent, but I was so miserable to live with that I started drinking it again. I guess it's my "drink" of choice.

Just an fyi, both sugar and aspertame are know to sort of influence depression symptoms. Some schools of thought feel that many who suffer from depression (as well as alcoholics) are really hypoglycemic. Evidentally, upon going on a hypoglycemic diet many people with depression improve dramatically. Aspertame affects the neurotransmitters.

It sucks that both of my favorite things are so bad for me.
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#40 of 50 Old 05-20-2004, 10:08 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jish
Just an fyi, both sugar and aspertame are know to sort of influence depression symptoms. Some schools of thought feel that many who suffer from depression (as well as alcoholics) are really hypoglycemic. Evidentally, upon going on a hypoglycemic diet many people with depression improve dramatically.
But . . . but . . . . but . . . . I love sugar. If I weren't already married, I might consider marrying sugar. Please don't say that horrible thing you just said. Take it back, woman. Take it back I say!






























:LOL












No, seriously . . . take it back.
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#41 of 50 Old 05-21-2004, 05:57 PM
 
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QTB, I wish I could take it back. Of course it hasn't stopped me from drinking diet pop by the gallon and eating sugar by the pound.


Why isn't there a support group for this -- sugarholics anonymous. I'm guessing that the goodies at the meeting wouldn't be very good. :LOL :LOL :LOL

BTW, I might consider marrying sugar too. Perhaps we could move to some commune together and bake cookies, cake, candy, etc. Life would be good.
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#42 of 50 Old 05-21-2004, 09:12 PM
 
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Chrissy, I totally understand where you are coming from and I think I understand what you were trying to say. I am not a raging drunk, but I do really enjoy alcohol. I can stop drinking, but it *is* a substance I feel the desire to consume in certain moods or situations. I understand your not wanting to give alcohol up entirely forever, I sure don't want to do that. I just don't want to feel like I can't deal with bad moods in other ways. It's honestly a lot like some people treat sugar - they are in a bad mood so they want a few brownies. (I say "some people" like I'm not one of the brownie lovers, which is far from true, LOL!)

I was also trying to do the no alcohol thing but I had a glass of wine a couple of times when my in-laws were visiting, and I had 2 beers the other night on a "date" with DH. I didn't particularly even want the wine but didn't want to not drink b/c it would have felt weird. It would be out of character for me to turn down wine, so I figured if I did they'd either think I was pregnant or an alcoholic or something. The beer was enjoyable, but after one I really wanted another, which reminds me why I have to be quite vigilant.

I am not sure about the zero drinking policy I have been toying with. I feel like I'm setting myself up for failure. I'm considering occasional drinking instead, as in, on occasions where it would be appropriate (like the in-laws taking us out to dinner) but NOT just because I'm at home and there's beer in the fridge. I am happy to have mostly stopped, though. It's a relief to use other ways of dealing with stress and sadness, which I have had a ton of the last couple weeks with only the rare fleeting dream of a fish-bowl sized margarita...

Carol
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#43 of 50 Old 05-21-2004, 09:14 PM
 
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"Why isn't there a support group for this -- sugarholics anonymous. I'm guessing that the goodies at the meeting wouldn't be very good. :LOL :LOL :LOL"

Too funny! They'd probably be a lot like the wheat-free, dairy-free, egg-free, taste-free things I try hard to interest my NON-allergy-free daughter in! Mmmm, pass the oaty bars with fig and quince paste...
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#44 of 50 Old 05-21-2004, 09:57 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jish
BTW, I might consider marrying sugar too. Perhaps we could move to some commune together and bake cookies, cake, candy, etc. Life would be good.
Oh--I am so there!! I think we should set it up in Hershey, PA, OK?

I am a really good baker, too. In fact, I often call myself a compulsive baker. I always thought that'd be a great name if I ever started a cookie business!
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#45 of 50 Old 05-21-2004, 10:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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EllasMama-
Thanks for sharing your story. It helps a lot. I think it is a really challenging issue sometimes. There's so many factors that can play into why a woman drinks. It's hard for me to figure out sometimes exactly what's going on. I think you make a good point that there's a big difference between drinking cause you're feeling bad and having a glass of wine when you go out to dinner. My worst bout with drinking was, of course, cause I was using alcohol to cover pain. (And woe is me, that REALLY didn't work.) I think I want to be able to have some wine out from time to time. I just want to stay away from over drinking, drinking at home out of habit and drinking to mask pain. What do you do for yourself to deal with pain instead of drinking? I've got some ideas for myself but I can always use more.
It sounds like you're really doing well! Hurray! You go girl!
Chrissy :girlpin

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#46 of 50 Old 05-21-2004, 10:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I love sugar too! I read somewhere that people can crave sugar when their bodies really need another substance. A lot of cravings for some reason come out as sugar. The article said you could want sugar when really what your body needs is protein or lettuce or something. Hmmmm..... That's interesting.

Not sure I buy that. It sure seems like when I WANT BROWNIES , I really want brownies!!


: : : :

Chrissy (I don't knit or use curlers but I thought these were cute!)

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#47 of 50 Old 05-23-2004, 05:53 PM
 
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Hmmmm.........

Sugar ----- Lettuce.....

Sugar ----- Lettuce.....

Which will I choose?











Quee, PASS THOSE BROWNIES!!!!!!

Heck, pass me a Mike's Hard Lemonade while I'm at it.

I should fess up that I'm not an anti-drinker. I drink on occasion, but it's only a handful of times a year. I'm basically cheap and alcohol is expensive and I don't enjoy it enough at this point to justify the cost. Now, back ten years ago when I was in my 20s, I enjoyed A LOT of alcohol. Way to much alcohol at times. Thankfully, I began getting hung over very easily and decided it wasn't worth it. Coming from a family with one parent who is an alcoholic and the other who is bulimic (sp?) I was probably wise to back off.

On the other hand, I should thank alcohol. My darling 2 month old was conceived due to a bit too much Mike's lemonade, a beautiful evening, and being to lazy to go back inside and get a condom. Thank goodness for blankets and back yards with privacy fences.

I think I just got this thread way off topic...
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#48 of 50 Old 05-23-2004, 09:06 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SpiralChrissy
What do you do for yourself to deal with pain instead of drinking? I've got some ideas for myself but I can always use more.
Therapy, taking breaks, exercise, reading, brownies - the usual, nothing earth-shatteringly cool. I've also been on Lexapro for 8 months and that's helped me gain control and a feeling of hopefulness. I guess mainly I try to control it through not buying alcohol. Just like with natural childbirth, if you go to a birth center where an epidural isn't available, then you are forced to rely on other ways to deal with your pain. So if I don't have the alcohol around, and it's too much trouble to run to the store to buy any, I can hold up pretty well. (DH still has beer around, but it's not as big a temptation b/c he buys brands I'm not familiar with.)

I'm also trying to motivate myself to go to church more regularly since I don't take time for my spiritual side otherwise. There is a wonderful Unitarian Universalist church in town...I actually went this morning. There are no "rules" about what God you have to believe in and no judgment about behaviors you have being "sinful," so it's a good approach for me. I figure it's cheaper than an extra therapy session, LOL, and the awesome music is an added bonus. I go about twice a year and always mean to go more often but never get around to it. I feel sometimes like I drink and eat to try to fill up a void inside me, so I'm hoping having more spiritual practice might make me feel less empty. Can't hurt, anyhow!

Carol
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#49 of 50 Old 05-26-2004, 08:15 PM
 
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Well I don't drink as my Hubby is an alchoholic, so no liquor in the house, but there are days when I wish I could...........

Red Raspberry tea and Chammomile Teas( yeah it sounds cheesy, but they really do help frazzled mommas!)

If you can barder or trade or pay a Helper to come and clean your abode, it's not like it's a solution, but it sure helps in the short time. You can look around and say "ahhhhh clean house"

Get a local HS girl or someone you know to watch the kids a couple hours a week, some alone time for you is totally nessesary, unless you can't leave a nursling, then maybe she can come to your house and watch them while you're home, you can relax, seh can watch make food , wash dishes etc! I know it takes a lot to ask for help, you've taken the hardest step already!

We are all connected in this life and we cannot do it all alone!
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#50 of 50 Old 05-29-2004, 11:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks Sarah.
Part of the reason I need to monitor my own alcohol use is because my DH is an alcoholic. My DS needs to grow up with one parent, at least, with a reasonable view on alcohol! It's hard to be dealing with alcohol sometimes and dealing with the DH's issues too, let me tell ya!
Thanks for writing. I do have a babysitter that I rely on and I"m trying to do the FLYLADY so I can get my house together.
One of my big problems is motivation though. I just don't feel like doing anythign so my life feels a little vapid. So, I suppose sometimes drinking sounds like fun cause I'm so bored with my life, huh?
Now that's something for me to work on!
Chrissy

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