I think this is on the right board, but maybe not. DH didn't come home last night, I stayed awake most of the night waiting for him, but Gwen wasn't sleeping well, so I finally went and layed down in bed with her, I was able to sleep in spurts, but kept being awaken by panic attacks. I am really scared because I have no idea where dh is, I actually called the hospital and the sheriffs dept to make sure nothing bad happened. He was supposed to go to his friends funeral today too (friend was in a wreck on Wednesday night), so its not really like him to just not come home and let down all of his other friends who need him. I am really upset and can't stop crying, I am getting angry at my kids for no good reason, and I can't even bring myself to play with Gwen. I have been depressed for quite awhile now, but today it has gotten 10 times worse. I feel like I can't function at all. I keep thinking about suicide, but I would never actually go through with it becasue a) I'm pregnant and b) no one else I know is qualified to raise my kids the way I want them raised, which kind of makes me feel worse, because I know that there is no way out. I just feel so depressed and alone, there is no one IRL I can talk to because my parents don't really care, and my sister just wants to nag me about how I could change my life if I wanted to, and I don't have any friends around here. I just feel so lost, I don't know what to do. I don't really know what I am looking for in typing this post, but I really needed to get all that out.