Ok I kind of posted this in another thread but I didn't get a response. I might as well get down to what I am really concerned about.
Since I was a little kid I have loved the idea of being pregnant. I obsessed over it. Now I have 3 kids ages 3, 21 months, and 5 months and I cannot wait to get pregnant again. I love being pregnant, giving birth, and having babies. The last 2 kids were concieved 6 months pp, I am coming up on 6 months pp with my youngest and I have such a strong desito be pregnant again, it is painful to imagine not being. Could it be a hormonal imbalance? Why do I want to be pregnant again?
Then I feel guilty for wanting another so soon, "why can't I just be grateful for the children I have?" which leads to me being guilty about every thing else, no matter what I do I feel guilty. I am a good mom. I know I am a good mom, but I always feel guilty for some reason, usually for wanting more kids, but it could be as reheating food for lunch instead of making a new meal or taking the kids grocery shopping instead of to the park. I don't know whats wrong with me. So to some it up. I want to be pregnant. I am guilty all the time and I feel like I am always on the edge. I asked DH if he thought I had ppd and he said "no not at all." So if I don't, I am really sorry for posting this here. I am just trying to figure out what is normal here and what might be a signal of a bigger problem. I realize ppd is a serious issue.
Slightly mommy to 3 little girlsDD1 9/23/08DD2 1/21/10DD3 5/26/11
#4 guess date 4/20/13
It does seem like a pretty strong pattern. I worry that you could get overwhelmed trying to care for little ones so close together and then feel even more guilty. I would wait for a bit, but that's just me.
As for the guilt thing, I think that infiltrates everything I do as a mom. And I think a lot of it is our society today and our current cultural expectations of moms. It's like if you are gonna have a kid, or especially stay home with them, you better do it perfectly. You better devote every cell in your body to giving them a perfect life. it's nuts.
--oops sorry, that's my own rant...
Anyway, i don't really know if it is PPD because I am no doctor, but it does seem like a pattern and that maybe the need to go back into pregnancy, which makes you feel good, could be an escape from bad feelings now. Just a thought. Maybe you need time to get over not being pregnant and find out what life is like in the next stages before you go into pregnancy again. PPD or not, I think it's worth really putting some effort into figuring out what's going on.
I hope you get some good support here and in your 'real life.'
Mom to 11 y.o. lawyer, 9 y.o. actor, and 4 y.o. pilot. I believe 'em on those, too!
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