Loss of Interest, is something wrong with me? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 04-15-2012, 11:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I just had my daughter 4 weeks ago and for the first week I felt fine towards my husband. However, week 2 I suddenly started hating him and I mean really hating him for no reason. I just can't stand seeing him or talking to him. Even the way he smells and breaths and eats and talks gets on my nerves. I get mad at him all the time, for every little thing I bitch and nag at him, I even pick fights with him so he leaves.
I don't know if somethings seriously wrong, or if its just my hormones, but its putting a serious toll on my marriage I don't know if these feelings go much deeper than that. We've had our problems in the past, but I have never felt like I do now.
I reject his kisses and can't stand when he touches me, when he hugs me I can't move away fast enough. The other night his foot brushed against mine while laying in bed and I just freaked out, "Don't touch me!!"
 I've completely lost interest in him and I don't know if this is some sort of depression or what is going on? I feel fine towards my 2 kids, it's just the DH I have issues with.
Anyone experiencing something similiar? thanks for any advice I'm desperate!! 

 

Let me know I'm not alone... I love my husband with all my heart, and he is an amazing father and husband.... but at the rate Im going were heading for divorce greensad.gif

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#2 of 6 Old 04-15-2012, 03:15 PM
 
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The first months were kind of horrible for me.  I was insane with sleep deprivation, completely overwhelmed with the baby, and had PPD.  Remember that you are going through a very, very intense period in your life.

 

I would first encourage you to reach out to someone IRL.  Is there a mom's group, a LLL, or a therapist you'd trust to talk with?  Irritability can certainly be a sign of depression, but new motherhood is such a whirlwind that I'd say you need to see if there are other signs before you start worrying about what "label" to apply to your feelings towards him and try to figure out where they are coming from.

 

It sounds like you are in a really hard place and I am so sorry. 


 sleepytime.gif I got tired of my signature, but I still love my children and husband and miss my little brotherkid.gif

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#3 of 6 Old 04-15-2012, 10:28 PM
 
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Sounds like you need some parent parent bonding. All you hormones have you ramped up to bond with your baby. That plus all the time it takes to care for a newborn keeps bonding low toward the hubby. You may also be instinctually be protecting yourself from another pregnancy right now. It will be hard but you'll have to shove aside your annoyance with him and get close. Spend time doing oxytocin releasing activitys with him - hand holding, eye gazing, giving and receiving innocent massage and pats, hugs, kisses - will help smooth thing over for you. Those are all things you can do together with baby in arms or breast feeding. It will releas oxytocin in both of you creating bonding and smoothing out the grumps. It's working well in my house, we have 3 kids the youngest is 3 weeks old today. I'm the least irritated with him this go round and he is more in tune and helpful. I firmly beleive this is because we make sure the engage in those primitive bonding behaviors everyday. Good luck.
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#4 of 6 Old 04-17-2012, 04:33 PM
 
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Right there with you...don't worry, it will pass. Homeopathic Sepia can be helpful. It's a combo of hormones and sleep deprivation.

Consciously mothering 3 girls and 2 boys
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#5 of 6 Old 04-17-2012, 06:34 PM
 
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I just had my daughter 4 weeks ago and for the first week I felt fine towards my husband.

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#6 of 6 Old 05-08-2012, 07:46 PM
 
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MamaMarie, are things looking up for you?  I was thinking about you today and hoping you were in a better place.


 sleepytime.gif I got tired of my signature, but I still love my children and husband and miss my little brotherkid.gif

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