I feel like such a bad mother!! - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 10 Old 01-31-2013, 07:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
courtneym89's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 9
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I fear that I may be suffering from postpartum depression, or maybe an anger disorder. My anger has never been this bad though. I had my son 4 months ago and ever since then it seems like I can't stand my 2yr old daughter. Everything she does irritates me or anger's me. Things like throwing food on the floor or continuing to do something after I told her "no" or "stop". I yell at her on a daily basis and i feel so bad for it but I feel like I just can't help it. At times I feel so angry with her that I just want to punch something or spank her till she get's the point (which I don't and I know is irrational). I just need some support here on how to stop this cycle. I have no issues with my son though. I am going to see a psychiatrist on the 14th to be evaluated and talk about these issues.

courtneym89 is offline  
#2 of 10 Old 01-31-2013, 12:39 PM
 
lovemylab's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: NH
Posts: 305
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well it sounds like you are heading in the right direction and getting help. It could be from a lack of sleep? I went threw a time of depression and I purchased: ppd for dummies. For me it helped. It pointed out how exactly I was acting and feeling and I can't explain it but it got me to get out of the rut I was in. Good luck!
lovemylab is offline  
#3 of 10 Old 01-31-2013, 01:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
courtneym89's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 9
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I get a pretty good amount of sleep, both kids sleep thru the night. I just feel such anger and rage towards my daughter though. Like if she wakes up during the night i feel so enraged and angry that i just yell at her to lay down and go back to sleep. Or if she fights me to take a nap I will do the same or just leave her there to cry. I feel like I just want to spank her till she get's the idea of what she is doing at the time is making me ANGRY!!!
 

courtneym89 is offline  
#4 of 10 Old 01-31-2013, 01:27 PM
 
lovemylab's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: NH
Posts: 305
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
First let me comment: omg your kids sleep the night!!!! What I would give for that. smile.gif

All moms at some point probably "see red" as long as your not acting on it. Do you have anyone that could give you a break? Sometimes I have to tag my husband in when I have had enough. Also, I noticed for me if I don't get a little bit of alone time to destress things bother me quicker.
lovemylab is offline  
#5 of 10 Old 01-31-2013, 01:28 PM
 
creativeGeoMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 2
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I just wrote a blog post about my postpartum http://creativegeographer.blogspot.ca/2013/01/2012-what-year.html?m=1 hang in there you are not a bad mom, you recognize something is wrong and you are trying to help yourself. Be proud of that.
creativeGeoMom is offline  
#6 of 10 Old 01-31-2013, 01:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
courtneym89's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 9
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Well if my husband tries to put my daughter to sleep she thinks its time to play. She knows when i put her to bed its bed time and i mean business, which is a bad thing i suppose. I did have some alone time a few weeks ago when i started going to the gym but I have been getting sick here lately and I feel like complete crap so I haven't gone. I just feel so terrible that I have the felling of wanting to hurt my child because they are upsetting me. By hurt i mean repeatedly spanking her till she lays down and goes to sleep :(. I mean I yell at her to shut up when shes crying :(
 

courtneym89 is offline  
#7 of 10 Old 01-31-2013, 01:46 PM
 
Jennyanydots's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,380
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

my DDs are 25 months apart, and after DD2 was born I remember feeling very similar in my relationship with DD1.  She regressed some and acted out following her sister's birth, and I had very little patience.  It was a struggle to be a good mother to her, and I didn't always behave the way I should have and wanted to.  I did spank, I did yell.  I'm not proud.  I saw the mother I was being and I didn't like it one bit- it reminded me too much of my own mom, and was a real wake up call to me to choose gentle discipline.  They're teenagers now, and best friends- both are very happy and well adjusted kids, but I will always regret not being a more patient and loving mom to DD1 during the period after DD2 was born. 

 

I can relate and sympathize, and the best advice I can give is to try to rationalize with yourself and talk yourself through the angry, impatient feelings.  Give yourself a timeout when your temper flares.  Sometimes we can't control how we feel, but we can control how we act.  Also, try to take a broader perspective.  For instance, with my son now, nothing phases me quite the same, or gets under my skin- not tantrums, sleep deprivation, etc- because after raising two kids to near adulthood, I know how brief this period truly is.  It doesn't feel like it when you're in it, but it's just a flash when you look back on it.

 

Good luck, I hope things become more peaceful for you.


chicken3.gif mama to two teens and two tots partners.gif madly in love with DP guitar.gif

Jennyanydots is offline  
#8 of 10 Old 01-31-2013, 01:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
courtneym89's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 9
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennyanydots View Post

my DDs are 25 months apart, and after DD2 was born I remember feeling very similar in my relationship with DD1.  She regressed some and acted out following her sister's birth, and I had very little patience.  It was a struggle to be a good mother to her, and I didn't always behave the way I should have and wanted to.  I did spank, I did yell.  I'm not proud.  I saw the mother I was being and I didn't like it one bit- it reminded me too much of my own mom, and was a real wake up call to me to choose gentle discipline.  They're teenagers now, and best friends- both are very happy and well adjusted kids, but I will always regret not being a more patient and loving mom to DD1 during the period after DD2 was born. 

 

I can relate and sympathize, and the best advice I can give is to try to rationalize with yourself and talk yourself through the angry, impatient feelings.  Give yourself a timeout when your temper flares.  Sometimes we can't control how we feel, but we can control how we act.  Also, try to take a broader perspective.  For instance, with my son now, nothing phases me quite the same, or gets under my skin- not tantrums, sleep deprivation, etc- because after raising two kids to near adulthood, I know how brief this period truly is.  It doesn't feel like it when you're in it, but it's just a flash when you look back on it.

 

Good luck, I hope things become more peaceful for you.

Thank you :)

courtneym89 is offline  
#9 of 10 Old 01-31-2013, 01:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
courtneym89's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 9
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Thank you all!!!

courtneym89 is offline  
#10 of 10 Old 07-11-2013, 03:37 PM
 
MissElliephant's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 6
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I really felt this way with my newborn DD- so angry I wanted to "punish" her (which I knew was irrational)... And then I felt guilty for having such negative thoughts. I'm still working on the counseling side of things, but I had to acknowledge the cycle and I started a low dose of Zoloft. It really worked wonders. Try to remind yourself that it's not really something you can control, that there's (likely) a chemical imbalance in your body. It's GREAT that you're taking the steps to get better. It may take a little time, but you will certainly feel better soon. Hugs. 

MissElliephant is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off