My beautiful baby girl was born in December and I feel like the old me is gone forever. In her place is this new angry person. I had a C-section and was in a lot of pain. No one helped me out and I felt like no one understood. My husband had to go back to work immediately and I have been left with a colicky baby at home all the time. The bad weather in the Northeast has meant we have been home-bound most of the time.
I tried to take some medication for a month because, on some days, I feel like I can't even get up and do anything. I just want to cry into my pillow. The Zoloft made me feel weird though--it felt like cotton in my head. I went from being an emotional wreck to being a zombie.
I'm weaning off of Zoloft now and still feel like screaming all the time. I feel like a bad person, a bad wife and a terrible mother. I go into the spare bedroom and cry and scream while leaving my baby in her rocker. I look in the mirror and feel like I don't recognize myself--I used to be a successful business consultant but now my work all dried up because of the time I took off for the pregnancy and baby.
Ugh, I just need some suggestions and maybe some hugs.
It ain't easy being home all day with a little when you don't feel yourself already. Bupropion does not make you feel foggy. A natural alternative is motherwort which has some awesome affects... In my opinion
Are you keeping a schedule? Keeping a schedule can be very beneficial to both of you? Can you get out to just go to the library or mall and bundle your little one up on you chest?
How many naps is she taking? Can you do mommy time when she is not asleep at least one of those nap times? Knit, text, take shower and deflate and get up energy!
Oh sending you more hugs
Hang in there. Sometimes it's so overwhelming, especially when you're with the baby most of the time. I'm in the same position..My husband works four days a week, 12 hour shifts and I have a 4.5 month old that is constantly screaming and crying in pain from his tummy issues. It feels like you're alone, but you're NOT! Coming to this group is a huge step. I was on Zoloft last year and it made me feel the same. I felt like a zombie as well. I'm now on Cipralex and that made a huge difference. Just know the medications take time to adjust. With me it was almost 3 weeks.
And this winter has been brutal! It's depressing in itself! I'm from Eastern Ontario, Canada and I've been sick of this nasty weather since it came. It's hard too because we can't even go out for a walk with the baby because the weather has been so crummy. Luckily, I found a small mom and tot play group my son and I go to once a week. That's made a huge difference. I find just getting out of the house, even going for a car ride with the baby helps. It's better than staring at the same darn 4 walls!
Take good care