I started feeling sorta "lifeless" when I was pregnant with my now 20 mth old dd. I attributed it to the circumstances I was in- major Loser boyfriend, I was 18, definitely unplanned pregnancy! And then when dd was born, I didn't have any "baby blues", instead I actually had "baby highs"! Lol. I felt pretty good for the first few weeks, maybe even 2-3 mths, I can't remember exactly. I left dd's father 17 mths ago, have a good life, a fairly promising future, excellent family support (my mom was an LLL leader and I am living with them, but not for long b/c they are going to buy a house for me, dd, and my brother to live in!) So, I feel like life is going pretty darn well, EXCEPT... I feel like I take 1 step forward ant 2 back. I keep thinking I will pull myself out of this funk I am in, and yet it never quite happens. I just don't feel like myself. I often blame on that I am getting used to being a mom, after going directly from party mode to mom-to-be.
I do not have some of the typical depression symptoms, like insomina or sleeping too much (though I have had problems with not being able to sleep, just not right now), or eating a lot or not eating a lot, feeling lifeles,etc. But I do not feel happy, ever. I act happy and feel *almost* happy, but it's like I can only get so far before I hit this brick wall. I can totally function, but I wake up feeling hopeless more often than not.
And, the big kicker that made me come here is that my parenting is going to crap. I have been feeling edgy more and more everyday, snapping at dd or dealing out unfair treatment more than I wanna admit. So, this is where I stop! I always thought I could control my own feelings better, rather than having to go on meds, but now I think going on meds for a few months may help me regain my old self, and then maybe I won't need them?!
Can anti-depressants help even if you don't fit the exact category of depresses? Or maybe I do? What kind of Dr do you go to? I need to go to my gynecologist soon, can she give me info/prescribe meds? Thanks for your help!