hello everyone, my intro. - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 11 Old 09-10-2004, 12:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
tabitha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: berkeley, ca
Posts: 2,412
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
well i dont think i have ever posted here before.

i'm tabitha, i have a 2 year old and a 12 week old baby.

this is my first expereince with PPD. i have no insurance and so it was a huge struggle to find help. finally! i have.

i am on a very low dose (25 mg) of zoloft and complimentary homeopathic remedies. its only been a few days, so no change yet, except it feels so good to be *doing something*. my coping skills have not improved at all though. if one of the babies cries i pretty much disintegrate and i hate being alone all day.

i had a magick homebirth, i'm tandem nursing, i wanted 2 babies. this snuck up on me and suddenly i was even suicidal. i cant believe how fast it took hold of me. i had/still have unexplained skin issues from it, rashes on my breasts and hips, strange itching sensations all over.

i have had a lot of support from friends but also some judgement (for the drugs). some people have told me it is because i am doing something impossible thinking i can parent this way. some people have said this is what i get for being so high and mighty or something. others have said they are more depressed than me and get by without drugs. WTF. people are just... terrible sometimes.

what i *do* know is my whole family was and is suffering from my PPD. i need help and i am getting it now.

tabitha

Hi, I'm Tabitha. I'm a homeschooling mother of four: ds (11) dd (9) ds (7) ds (5) And I'm expecting a fifth in 2014! Find me at http://www.omelay.blogspot.com
tabitha is offline  
#2 of 11 Old 09-10-2004, 05:10 PM
 
Jish's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: in a constant state of chaos
Posts: 5,264
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have my six month old on my lap and he likes to "type" so for now I'll just say that people can really suck when it comes to depression. Tune them all out and do what works for YOU! Meds are fine, don't feel guilty at all about taking care of yourself and your family. More later when I don't have my helper on my lap. 2
Jish is offline  
#3 of 11 Old 09-11-2004, 04:11 PM
 
toraji's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Rural Upstate NY
Posts: 1,179
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
hi tabitha!

screw the other people, you gotta do what you gotta do. It's always easy for people to judge other people and say that they would never do blah blah blah but only you can judge what is right for your situation.

hugs to you...depression is hard but it can be overcome.
toraji is offline  
#4 of 11 Old 09-12-2004, 10:49 AM
 
Sungold17's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Harford Co, Maryland
Posts: 270
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Congratulations on taking the steps you need to get help and eventually feel good again.

-Dawn
Sungold17 is offline  
#5 of 11 Old 09-13-2004, 04:26 PM
 
Jish's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: in a constant state of chaos
Posts: 5,264
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
How are you doing, Tabitha. I'm typing solo so I thought I'd check back in on you. 2 25 mg of zoloft is a typical starter dose, so if you find that you aren't feeling any relief soon, you may want to consider going up to 50 mg. For most people 50 to 100mg are the typical doses, but I know moms who bf while taking 150mg, so don't let the dosages scare you. Take what you need to to get better. Also, it can take several weeks to start feeling any real effects from the meds. That in itself is frustrating -- the wait -- but it takes a while to get the seretonin functioning correctly again.

How are you coping with everything else?

Adding a second child can be extremely stressful. It changes your whole family, and it can be exceptionally scary because there will be times that it will change the way you feel about your oldest child. I have told this story before, but there was a period when my second child was around three months or so that I didn't feel the same about my oldest child anymore. I didn't feel like I loved him as much as I had before his brother was born. I was constantly frustrated with him. I felt absolutely terrible about the way I was feeling, like I had ruined his life, and our relationship permanently. It lasted for several weeks or a couple months then as quickly as those feelings came, they were gone. I started asking my friends who had their second children in the months around when I did, and found out that more than half of them (most of them actually) had gone through that very same thing, but were too embarassed to talk to anyone else about it. After all, mothering is always supposed to be wonderful and we should never have those feelings about our children -- right? Well, I found out it was wrong. Many, many of us go through feelings like that, it's just taboo to talk about it.

Try not to be too hard on yourself for how you are feeling now. I think the transition to two was hardest for me when my second child was between 3 and 6 months and started having his own personality. He was so sweet and charming that it was easy to see my older child as demanding and frustrating. Don't feel guilty about your feelings, just acknowledge them and know that they are normal will change soon enough. Change is the only guarentee we seem to have.

Let us know how you're doing. 2
Jish is offline  
#6 of 11 Old 09-15-2004, 10:36 PM
 
cztarma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 13
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am taking Zoloft too, was really worried about side effects, and it made all of the difference in the world for me. It was so stressful, I felt so guilty all of the time, and my son was 21 months when I started, so I weaned him in one night so I could take the meds!!

It was heartbreaking for a while, but he really didn't nurse anymore anyways, it was just a comfort to him, so now we cuddle A LOT. . .
I know that some people say you can nurse on Zoloft but I just felt uncomfortable, and, due to the PPD, felt ready to be done nursing anyways.

I don't know if this was helpful or not, but don't feel guilty for trying to get better. Its crappy enough being depressed (like theres not enough guilt involved in that already) to have it piled on you from folks who don't know what you are going through.

good luck, drink lots of water, and take time for yourself without feeling guilty.

Allysen
cztarma is offline  
#7 of 11 Old 09-15-2004, 10:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
tabitha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: berkeley, ca
Posts: 2,412
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
thanks mamas.

i don't know if its working yet. part of me is just happier to be getting help. i saw my homeopath today and i have to start taking the remedy im on more frequently and friday we are deciding whether or not to up the dose of the zoloft to 50 mg.

today was a terrible day.

today i thought, no amount of medicine will make me better because my problem is that i am inadequate for the task.

tabitha

Hi, I'm Tabitha. I'm a homeschooling mother of four: ds (11) dd (9) ds (7) ds (5) And I'm expecting a fifth in 2014! Find me at http://www.omelay.blogspot.com
tabitha is offline  
#8 of 11 Old 09-15-2004, 10:52 PM
 
weetzie's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 1,923
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh honey honey.

I am so sorry that you are dealing with this. Depression is awful. I am so proud of you for getting the treatment that you need.

You are not inadequate mama. You are wonderful. I know that it doesn't feel like that. But I believe it.
weetzie is offline  
#9 of 11 Old 09-16-2004, 02:25 PM
 
KellyB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh, Tabitha...
I know the feelings of inadaquacy(sp?)...it's really just a feeling, though...not the truth.
I remember after my ds was born thinking "Oh, God...what have I done?...what was I thinking? I can't do this!"
But I swear...it passes...you'll be happy again...
Don't feel guilty about upping your meds if you have to.
And I'd eliminate from my life for a while anyone who isn't supportive. Rrrr! That makes me so mad to hear how awful people can be....
((((Tabitha))))))
Just keep on keepin' on...It'll get better. This won't last forever.
KellyB is offline  
#10 of 11 Old 09-16-2004, 06:25 PM
 
3_opihi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: home
Posts: 3,803
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Tabitha-
Just take care of yourself right and don't worry about everyone else right now. Yes, people can be awful especially at the times we most need help. Its hard to admit that you need the help, but when you do, its so much of a weight thats lifted.

Are you taking homeopathic pulsatilla? I just started it and its helping alot. You just gotta do what you gotta do, ya know. The fact that you are getting treatment just shows how good of a mama you are and how much you care about your babies.

2
3_opihi is offline  
#11 of 11 Old 09-19-2004, 01:05 AM
 
curlygrrl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Outside Asheville, NC
Posts: 264
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Tabitha, Just wanted to send ((hugs)) my DD was born in June too, I've been feeling pretty rotten and just started Zoloft myself. Hope it helps to know you're not alone.

Tamara
curlygrrl is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off