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#61 of 142 Old 11-16-2005, 12:36 AM
 
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I agree Chrissy some days are definately better than others and there is no rhyme or reason to it.
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#62 of 142 Old 11-17-2005, 01:42 PM
 
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Originally Posted by CRISSY
Maybe I'm being punished for somthing I said or did. If that's what it is I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY. BAD DAY
I recently realised that I only believe in karma when something bad happens to me. Like, what did I do to deserve this? Not when something great happens, I just accept it and enjoy. I guess it's pretty normal to want an explanation for bad things, might make it easier to deal with. It's really changed the way I deal w/ things, trying to accept the bad as peacefully as I accept the good. "This too shall pass" has become my motto.

Love to all the ladies!
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#63 of 142 Old 12-05-2005, 10:35 PM
 
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I hope this thread isn't fading out it does give me a chance to vent but I also like to hear how other moms are dealing day to day. My last post I was having a real hard time. I want to thank fancyd for all the support. I also wanted to give an update. Things have really been pretty good I'm not going to say it to loud but my mind seems at peace my eyes are more clear and my body seems to be a lot more relaxed. I'm still on Zoloft same dosage and I've been taking vitamins. The days don't seem to drag but instead fly by. I can't say anything has changed in my life. Like a flick of a switch I'm doing good. I try not to beat myself up on past thoughts but instead remind myself it's past and not present. I hope everyone else is doing good I would love to hear from ya..
lots of love
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#64 of 142 Old 12-08-2005, 02:24 PM
 
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I wanted do an intro. Im so glad I came across this site and such a supportive group. Im 27yo married, first time momma. My daughter is now 8 months and I finally admitted I need help for ppd. Things are getting worse, not better. I went to my doc recently & she put me on zoloft, but I had a bad reaction (couldnt breathe well, extreme dizziness and lethargy) I am now prescribed Efexor but havent taken it yet. I don't know if I can handle my anxiety/ depression with natural remedies, but I want to try before taking anything else. ANY SUGGESTIONS? I need to do something. I am having a hard time getting through my days.
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#65 of 142 Old 12-08-2005, 07:59 PM
 
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Hi, avasmom1!

Make sure you're taking your vitamins, for a start. I found that magnesium/calcium w/ vitamin D helped me. Evening Primrose Oil helps some, I found that I got more yeast infections while taking it. Always keep in contact w/ your dr. PPD is nothing to mess with! My dr. didn't reccomend anti-depressants, rather talk therapy and eating well. If I felt that I needed them, she would have proscribed, though. Also, thyroid imbalaces are fairly common in new moms. Hope that helps!

to all the mamas! Glad to hear you're doing better, CHRISSY.
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#66 of 142 Old 12-09-2005, 04:27 AM
 
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who prescribes the antidepressants? your regular doc or the psychiatrist?

i was so frustrated yesterday because i was feeling really down--anxious, scary thoughts, all that--but i don't have a regular doc, and i have Med-i-cal, i was given the run-a-round on the phone. finally, i got an appointment to see a psychiatrist for NEXT YEAR!!!
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#67 of 142 Old 12-09-2005, 04:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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You can get it through your regular doc. But personally, I'd try some other things than anti-depressants first. I've got what seems to be ppd/ocd, which the authors of this book I was looking out classify as different than regular ocd. I seem to have anxiety mixed with depression. I'm trying progesterone cream, more Omega-3s, calcium magnesium, B6, and getting more help at home. I will be going to get my thyroid checked out here soon too. I do however have a 5 week sample of zoloft in my medicine cabinet in case things get worse. I am particularly concerned about just going on meds for several reasons. 1) unwanted side effects. 2) the fact that you have to wean on and off meds, which not doing can cause disastrous side-effects. 3) not having a timeline for using meds - how will i ever know it is okay to stop? i don't want to get stuck.

anna kiss partner to jon radical mama to aleks (8/02) and bastian (5/05)
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#68 of 142 Old 12-11-2005, 06:57 PM
 
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Sigh, a sleep deprived mini-vent on the way...I just got "dumped" by my therapist and I've just got to vent a bit. I've been seeing her for an hour a week for 3.5 months and at the end of our last session she said "I don't think I can help you...and I'm not sure anyone else can at this point. My advice is to just stop complaining and accept that this is how life is going to be". I was in total shock...I just sort of mumbled something and left and it took me a couple hours to move from just numb amazement to the confused anger I feel now! I mean, what sort of therapist says something like that? Especially to a person they KNOW is depressed?

I guess I should have anticipated something like this...I asked my primary care doc (a sweet woman, very accepting of alternate therapies, and the general practitioner I saw all through pregnancy...she's my dd's doc as well) to recommend someone who would be willing to work with me without medication. I'd been through depression in the past, knew the warning signs, and wanted to head this off early instead of waiting till I was totally non-functional like I did last time. I was crying every night, couldn't sleep, was worried about my dd, scored 76 on the ppd "quiz", etc...

Anyway, she gave me a name, I went, and after explaining my situation (including why I'm not into taking medication right now) the therapist asked "well, will you at least consider taking the meds and weaning your daughter if I recommend it?". Ummmm...no. So I guess I should have known she wouldn't be exactly what I needed, but...well...I really needed help and there she was!

I just don't know what to do now...I work part time and have the only income in my immediate family, my dh is a grad student and works 50-60 hours a week but is currently unpaid and hasn't been paid since June, and there's a slew of other stressors in my life right now over which I have no control (like, my dad just lost his job and his health insurance and he has a chronic heart condition which is amazingly expensive to treat, and my little brother is in Iraq so I dread hearing the news each day). I'm trying some of the supplement blends people have recommended in these threads, and am trying to get more exercise on a daily basis, but it's just so hard.

Grrrrrr...isn't a therapist supposed to help? Even just a little? I totally feel worse now than I did 3 months ago (though I guess I cry less...that's something I suppose)!

Sorry for the "whine" but I'm just at my wit's end and the only bright side I can find is that now I'll have that one hour a week to do something more productive than therapy!

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#69 of 142 Old 12-15-2005, 02:33 PM
 
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My name is Lisa. I am mama to Noah, 17 months (born 7/14/04). . I know I am quite a bit postpartum, but its just taken me a long time to post..
I had a great pregnancy by most standards. I had wanted a homebirth but insurance wouldn't cover the $4,000 it was going to cost and we didn't have that kind of money lying around. So off to the OB i went. My water broke on its own at 38 weeks and i was induced. I had a good, drug-free labor for 8 hours. Dh and I had taken lamaze and were really psyched for a natural delivery. I was so ready to join that primal sisterhood of birthing women. But after 8 hours Noah's heart rate dropped to 40 and kept dropping with each contraction. I got so scared hearing that machine beeping. I had wanted an intervention-free delivery and ended up flat on my back with an internal monitor, pitocin, an amnio infusion, oxygen, and all the external monitors. Noah never dropped into my pelvis and by the time i was at 6 cm, his heart rate was in the 30s and never came back up. So I ended up with a stat c-section. I was terrified for my baby but also so upset that fate had robbed me of my natural delivery. When they made the incision they found that the cord was around Noah's neck twice, and pulling tighter with each contraction. He was totally blue and required oxygen to get his color back. He was very small, only 5 lb 6 oz. They said that he may have mental problems from lack of oxygen due to the cord around his neck. His placenta apparently was also a bit atrophied, possibly contributing to his small size, and they have no idea why.
I did ok as a new mom. I adored my son from the second i saw him and my Dh did too. I nursed him in recovery and he's been a milkie machine ever since. I was tired of course, but i felt that it wouldn't last forever, so i dealt. It took a long time to process the birth and I felt for a long time that i had failed as a babymaker (placenta failure) since he was so small. I felt like I had been robbed of the delivery i had worked for so long towards.

The depression has really set in in the last 7 months or so. Noah has never been a 'good' sleeper, usually not longer than 3-4 hours at a stretch. So sleep deprivation is par for the course for me. Since I am a SAHM, Dh and I agreed that the nighttime parenting goes to me. Its not that I mind getting up, its more like 17 months of constant nightwaking and night nursing has gradually worn me down to a nub. Exhaustion is my constant state.
I have a long history of depression and kind of expected to have some PPD, but when I did ok in the months after delivery DH and I both felt relieved. But i guess it just came later for me.
I have no libido at all, and thats causing problems in my marriage. I used to be so creative, but I have no energy or desire to draw or paint or scrapbook or do anything I used to do. Money problems are a constant because I am staying home now with my high-need child. I feel that Dh blames me for our money issues cus I want so badly to stay home with Noah. He doesn't appear to have any developmental issues, but he needs constant attention and constant stimulation. We can't even leave him in the nursery at church because he's terrified of strangers. I am exhausted because Dh works 13 hours a day and I never get a break. We are moving in January because we can no longer afford our mortgage. I went to see the place we will be renting, and its not even half as nice as our house, and that made me feel so hopeless. I am a Taurus, and I need beauty and natural elements in my environment. The townhome we are renting is a little shabby (thanks to the previous tenants), smells like dogs and is in a loud, crowded block. A far cry from our tidy little house in a more rural area where we can hear the eagles from our porch. I feel like a terrible person for bitching about it but its such a letdown. I am so exhausted from trying to figure out ways to save every penny but I dont feel good living in a dump either. It all just makes me feel like I am a terrible person all over .
My beloved mom is very ill and I cant seem to help her very much.
I have so much guilt. For not being a better wife, mother, daughter, sister, person. I feel terrible about myself and hate looking in the mirror; i feel like i look worse every day. I have not lost the 50 lbs I gained during pg, despite nursing, and I know I look awful. I feel awful. I rarely go out anymore cus I hate how I look and feel. I no longer enjoy clothes or shopping like I used to. For that matter, I dont enjoy anything except spending time with my little one. He keeps me going, he keeps some joy in my heart where there isnt much left. I hate feeling like this - empty, a shell of myself. I hate being on meds and will try pretty much anything to avoid them. Dh has said I should wean ( like thats the magic bullet) but I refused - my nursing relationship with my son helps with my anxiety (thank you, prolactin!). Dh has also said that if I don't start getting better that he's getting a vasectomy cus he doesn't want us to go thru this with another kid.
I need a therapist and got the list of approved providers from insurance, but looking at a long list of anonymous names is daunting. I keep putting it off. Dh has gone so far to, at my midwife's urging, agree to go to therapy with me, but i dont know if going by myself would be more beneficial or not. Dh is a great guy and he's trying his best; the problems are mine. Iwoule love to try acupuncture but ins. doesnt cover it.
well, i could write a lot more, but my baby is crying, so time to nurse down.
I am glad I got to have a little vent. thank you.

Lisa
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#70 of 142 Old 12-15-2005, 03:51 PM
 
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Welcome mamahippo! Venting is a great start...
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#71 of 142 Old 12-15-2005, 07:56 PM
 
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MamaHippo -

So much of your intro sounds like my story!~

To everyone else:

I just found this thread and will post my intro when I have more computer time. But for a start my name is Deanna, and I gave birth to beautiful Willow Jade of January of this year.

More later!
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#72 of 142 Old 12-15-2005, 10:55 PM
 
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Welcome willowpooh! Our babes are just about the same age!
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#73 of 142 Old 12-16-2005, 12:54 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wombatclay
Sigh, a sleep deprived mini-vent on the way...I just got "dumped" by my therapist and I've just got to vent a bit.
She definitely wasn't who you needed anyway. You need to find an alternative sort of doctor to help you through supplementation for your depression and a therapist who will just be a therapist and help you through other issues. I don't think I ever talked about medication with my therapist but he helped me a great deal.

Amanda Rose, author, Rebuild From Depression: A Nutrient Guide. Don't miss this opportunity to build a business telling friends about probiotic foods and grass fed meats: Beyond Organic Review.

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#74 of 142 Old 12-16-2005, 01:00 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaHippo
For that matter, I dont enjoy anything except spending time with my little one. He keeps me going, he keeps some joy in my heart where there isnt much left.
Lisa -- you hold on to that positive because that is a biggie. You may have days where you don't even want to spend time with your child and that's totally normal too (and probably common).

Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaHippo
I need a therapist and got the list of approved providers from insurance, but looking at a long list of anonymous names is daunting. I keep putting it off. Dh has gone so far to, at my midwife's urging, agree to go to therapy with me, but i dont know if going by myself would be more beneficial or not. Dh is a great guy and he's trying his best; the problems are mine. Iwoule love to try acupuncture but ins. doesnt cover it.
well, i could write a lot more, but my baby is crying, so time to nurse down.
I am glad I got to have a little vent. thank you.

Lisa
I think I quoted wrong but I agree with you on not stopping the nursing. You and your baby need it. Just make sure your diet is especially good since you have to produce all of that milk. The nutrients required by the milk can run you down a lot.

You may need to wait to choose a therapist until you have a good moment. That is a hard thing. Do you know anyone who might be able to help you cut that list down?

Amanda Rose, author, Rebuild From Depression: A Nutrient Guide. Don't miss this opportunity to build a business telling friends about probiotic foods and grass fed meats: Beyond Organic Review.

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#75 of 142 Old 12-16-2005, 01:01 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by willowpooh
I just found this thread and will post my intro when I have more computer time. But for a start my name is Deanna, and I gave birth to beautiful Willow Jade of January of this year.
Welcome!

Amanda Rose, author, Rebuild From Depression: A Nutrient Guide. Don't miss this opportunity to build a business telling friends about probiotic foods and grass fed meats: Beyond Organic Review.

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#76 of 142 Old 12-16-2005, 01:15 PM
 
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Reading your post brought me straight back into the feelings of depression that I had around 17-20 months of age. That was the hardest time in my life. The depression (for me) showed up immediately after a traumatic birth - like yours - but got increasingly worse with sleep deprivation (I had a marathoner popping on and off 6-10 times a night) and with his developmental needs around that age. I also hated my body, hated myself and started hiding at home because I was so exhausted and so ashamed. Like you, my time with my son was the only pleasure in my life. Just so you know, therapy has helped me. So have nutritional supplements like DHA's and other things (you can go back in this thread to find specific recommendations). But once my son moved through that age, I found things easing off a bit. By 2, he was expressing himself more and able to focus on other play longer - giving me more time to write, reflect and take hot baths! Hang in there. And know you aren't alone. It might not help the feelings or the exhaustion but it can make it more bearable to know that it's not just you and that what you are experiencing is happening to others too. And it is really shitty to have to give up some of your energy to depression when all you want is to love and enjoy your baby. It doesn't seem fair, I know.
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#77 of 142 Old 12-19-2005, 06:41 PM
 
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My story ~

My whole life I've wanted a baby girl, and I felt I couldn't wait to have one... yet I wanted to wait until everything (both marriage and financial-wise) was "perfect". At age 28 (I would deliver at age 29) I felt I'd reached that point and my baby's conception was a bit "militantly" planned.

Almost from day 1 I had a complicated pregnancy. First I had morning, noon, and night sickness until well into the second trimester. I actually lost so much weight that the day I went into labor I weighed 6 pounds LESS than the day I concieved. Then my lifelong IBS problems created unimaginiably painful complications (the pain was much than 13 hours of labor). At 26 weeks I was hospitalized for a week with these pains, and for a couple of days it was thought that my placenta was torn... it was the biggest heartbreak of my life. But it turned out that wasn't the case thankfully. And when I finally did deliver she was perfectly healthy... 8lbs, 2 oz.

At only 32 weeks I became fully efaced and started having contractions, and I was put on bedrest. The bedrest actually became the solution to all of my problems... I had a relatively easy pregnancy from then on. At about 39 weeks I finally went into labor for real, and I had an easy labor compared to what I expected. I didn't even get to the point where I asked for drugs... they advised I'd need them soon, so I went ahead and took the epidural. Soon I found out why my labor was easy (well, I guess this was the reason)... I never dilated past 3.5. The dr told me he'd probably have to do a c-section... to which I begged him to give me another hour or two because the thought of a c/s terrified me and was not the way I "dreamed" it would be. He did, but there was absolutely no change. I felt parts of the surgery, and had a hard time in the recovery area afterwards. When it finally came time to hold the baby (about two and a half hours after the birth) that I'd dreamed of for so long I was too scared to do so b/c of the morphine.

My real depression began when I had to return to work when the baby was only 8 weeks old. I looked great after I delivered, but I gained 14 LBS in just two weeks after returning to work. I had been out on leave for four months... and I'd wanted nothing more than to be a SAHM, but there was no way we could make our bills if we did so... I've always been the one that makes more money in our marriage. When I returned to work I found out that a "friend" that had worked there had spent four months spreading horrible stories about me and was trying to get me fired. Ironically she ended up being the one to be fired... but the betrayal cut very deeply. Management treated me like a freak b/c I needed a room for breastpumping on my lunch hour, and eventually they took it away from me without even telling me they were going to. I was stressed out beyond belief trying to work full-time, recover from a c/s, and be a new mother. Co-workers kept making cruel comments about my postpartum weight, and I hated my body. Even though I only weigh 133 at 5'4" I was practically wearing mumus to hide myself. I hated leaving the house. I constantly fantasised about suicide... but I knew I'd never go that route because I could never leave my baby.

Like MamaHippo said the only time I felt happiness or peace was when I was with my baby, and I never felt anger toward her.

But I had plenty of anger, and I turned it toward my DH (but held it in silently and sufferingly). We have always had a great relationship and a rather un-turbulant marriage. But I was so disappointed about the way he had acted while I was pregnant... he was definitely NOT one of those daddies that is feeling mommy's belly and making whale sounds at the baby. He acted disinterested and annoyed through most of my pregnancy. He spent lots of money because he "just had to get this one last thing before the baby comes" and we've had a year of crippling financial and credit problems. I was angry because he didn't make more. I'd see other husbands who didn't make much but would say, "Well, my wife stays home because she was just too sad to leave the baby... God will find a way for us to make it somehow even though we don't have a lot of money," and I felt "screwed" that I ended up with a husband that seemed to have no such compassion for me. He's been a wonderful father... and he loves his little girl more than life itself... but still I was angry. I kept seeing him as the person who took away my dream of motherhood the way I envisioned it to be. Also I have to constantly hear my mother destroy him as a father and a husband... and it makes me question everything. My DH and I have to work completely opposite schedules for childcare purposes and NEVER have had a day off together since I went back to work, not even holidays (he always has to work them). But when he is home he thinks it is carte blanch for him to hand off the baby to me as soon as I hit the door and play online games all night, and for the most part ignore us. We've discussed this... and he justifies it with, "Well, I'm not out at bars like other husbands. If you or Willow need me I'm right here in the same room." But he's NOT, not emotionally anyway. I have nearly 0 interest in sex... it almost seems disgusting to me (but I'm still breastfeeding and I hear that is normal).

Meanwhile at work I've had to fight days where I just wanted to pack up all of my stuff and walk out and never look back. I'd then fantasise that I'd stop home and grab the baby and run away with her and very little money in our bank account. Of course this is all stupid... and really not like me.

I thought these feelings would pass, but they didn't. And now my DD is 11 months old and I've finally broken down and sought help by getting on Lexapro.

I feel like I'm starting to do better (and I'm slowly starting to loose a teeny bit of weight) but I know I still have so far to go physically and emotionally.

I'm hoping this will be a good support area for me.

Thanks for reading the ramble.
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#78 of 142 Old 12-28-2005, 05:05 PM
 
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I posted a while ago. I had my family doctor prescribe Zoloft several weeks ago but never went to pick it up. I just kept thinking I could handle it without meds. I have been taking my EFAs, I was exercising regularly until recently, doing everything I could think of but it isn't helping. My anxiety levels are just off the charts (for me). I can't take it anymore. I have never been so depressed. So today I asked her to call the script in again, and this time I went, picked it up and took the first pill right there in the pharmacy, LOL.

My main reason is that I am beating myself for not being a good enough mother. My patience is so thin and I am unhappy so much of the time. My 4-year-old daughter, who is an extremely bright and very sensitive soul, is clearly showing the effects. Her patience is also very thin and her moods unpredictable. She seems sad a lot of the time. I hate this. I want her to be happy and most of all, care free. I need to take this step. I'm frightened of the side effects too but they can't be worse than this.
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#79 of 142 Old 12-30-2005, 04:02 PM
 
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My name is Ameerah. Im 25 married 2kids. This is my first time having PPD. My youngest is 8months. Im trying to get over it with out meds. I took them for awhile, t hat didnt helo when i came off them I had to end up going to the hospital. Anyway i dont want meds to take over my life. It was scary at first but its getting better. Im still trying to find ways to deal with it. Im working on finding a natural way to help me. At first i was very isolated never went anywhere but after i started getting out of the house it started to get alittle better.Because for awhile i would not let my husband leave the house . He stayed off work for awhile to help me cause i was a fraid to be alone with the baby. We almost lost our house. it had me going to the hospital like crazzy thinking i was dying and i was sick and something was the matter with me. But as time goes by it gets better its not completly gone but its getting there.
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#80 of 142 Old 01-01-2006, 01:32 AM
 
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Hugs to all you mamas! It's a crappy time, for sure, but there is an end to this. I promise that.

When I went to my doctor (she had a baby 4 months before me), she said the best thing to do was to have a safe place to vent and to have help, a break, something for yourself. These days we lack an extended family, even lactating relatives who could help. Sometimes, even the AP ideal can work against a new mother.

I know that for me, nutritional supplement helped a great deal, but mostly my boyfriend helping me w/ our child did a world of wonders. He works out of town, and I'm sympathetic to his state, but man! Sometimes I nees a poop by myself just to get it together, yk?

I had to break DOWN!!! for him to help and I wish it hadn't come to that. Just keep seeking help however that may come, come here to blast off your feelings, and things will get better little by little.
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#81 of 142 Old 01-02-2006, 02:17 PM
 
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Hi ladies. I just got back from visiting family and found 150 emails in my inbox. Luckily, a whole lot of it is SPAM.

Ameerah -- I'm glad things are getting better. I've been out of my really bad cycles for months, but still have low times. It does get better slowly.

CityGIrl -- So you're on about Day 6 now. Any relief yet? I know it may take a while, but just wondering how you're doing.

willowpooh -- Your morning sickness may actually be an important clue for you. Morning sickness is caused (or aggravated in any case) by deficiencies in Vitamin B6. B6 is a factor in IBS and digestive wellness in general. It's also a big factor in depression. Here's my post in a thread on natural cures where I mention B6. Check it out when you have time. There is also a tribe in the Health and Healing Forum here which would help with the IBS as well. It's all related.

Amanda

Amanda Rose, author, Rebuild From Depression: A Nutrient Guide. Don't miss this opportunity to build a business telling friends about probiotic foods and grass fed meats: Beyond Organic Review.

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#82 of 142 Old 01-06-2006, 01:20 AM
 
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I hope you all dont mind if i join this thread as i just found it a few minutes ago and feel i badly need support. I have not been officially diagnosed with PPD but i am not my normal self and its driving myself and my family crazy. Here's a little about me

Im 25, married and have 2 beautiful dd's. We moved to the sacramento area of cali a year and a half ago and have really made NO friends still. My mother lives 20 mins away BUT isnt much help as i tend to care for her and her bi-polar needs. DD#1 is 2 years old and was born in a very invasive and traumatic hossy birth. DD#2 is 11 weeks old and was born wonderfully at home (but im still thinking through the posterior part of it all). We go to a large church but i have yet to befriend anyone as we seem to parent much differently then the others. After dd#1's birth i was the happiest i have ever been in my entire life, no joke. i didnt even experience the slightest tinge of baby blues. It was wonderful, i expected the same this go round. But it has been the opposite. Im tired, anxious, nervous, scared to death something is going to happen to both my children at any given moment, constantly angry and upset. My dh and i seem to fight like there is no tomorrow lately and i am constantly getting mad at my 2 yo for waking my other dd and for other little things. Dh is working 72 hours on 12 hours off. Sometimes he gets 2 days in a row off and really does try to help when he can, but i feel so forlorn and lost when he is not here. I love my children and have never ever thought of harming them, but when the colic hours start i honestly just want to run away. Its like my body shuts off and i tend to her in automode, not at all how i parented dd#1 and i feel so HORRIBLY guilty for not being the mom that everyone else is, or even that i was to dd#1. I have yet to go in to the docs as i dont want to go on meds as im still bf. I cry all the time and at the drop of the hat and im ready for some help. Where do i go? Would my midwives be able to help? Thanks

Loving mom to 2energy.gif ,1jammin.gif , & 1dog2.gif . Surrodaughter 4/09
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#83 of 142 Old 01-06-2006, 01:35 AM
 
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Talk to your midwives for sure. My doctor said lack of support and help is a huge factor in PPD. Sounds like there's not much time on your DP's hands... Is there any way you could hire a student for a few hours a week? He/She could play w/ your older child while you napped w/ baby or just dealt w/ the colic, Also, have you heard of using rooibos tea for colic? I've heard it works wonders. Here are some links

* Colic, Allergies & Other Ailments: Distributors of rooibos tea often suggest it can help allergies, sleep problems, digestive problems, headache, and other ailments, but these claims have not been verified by scientific research. If the indigenous people of the Cedarberg region used rooibos tea medicinally, that tradition was lost and rooibos was just enjoyed as a good-tasting beverage until the recent interest in its health benefits. Many of the health claims for rooibos tea began in 1968 when a South African woman, Annekie Theron, found that rooibos tea eased her infant’s colic. As the story goes, she found no documentation on the benefits of rooibos and began her own experiments with local babies who had colic and allergies. She concluded that rooibos helped these babies, and she published a book in 1970 titled Allergies: An Amazing Discovery. Since then, she patented a rooibos extract that is now used in cosmetic products, and she started her own line of health and cosmetic products.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rooibos

Today, South African physicians recommend rooibos for infant colic. South Africans also use it to calm digestive upset in adults, to help induce sound sleep, and topically to sooth eczema, skin allergies, and diaper rash. Not enough research has been done to know if these folk remedies really are effective or to identify the substances in the tea that might be responsible for any observable benefits. Joubert says the tea does seem to help infant colic, but no formal studies have been done.

http://www.hylands.com/products/colic.php
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#84 of 142 Old 01-06-2006, 02:30 AM
 
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Hi mamas,
I am almost 9 months pp from my second birth. I had both my babes via c-section. My first was due to six hours of pushing with his poor head stuck and face-up...finally a section. My second was just amiserable/disappointing decision that I sometimes regret.

I have dealt with depression since high school. I am 33 now, and am on meds for the 3rd time. First was when I was 21--prozac (YUCK!), then Paxil after graduating from colllege at 25, now paxil again after a really ugly and terrifying start with my daughter. I believe it reoccurred because of a few factors:
1) really lonely/bad hospital experience after cs
2) bf'ing BEGAN with cracked/bleeding nipples and awful latch issues
3) slept on the couch with DD while DS and DP enjoyed a king size bed

Anyhow, now I am wishing I wasn't on meds because I just don't feel like myself, have extra weight due to the lovely side effect...and in the last couple of weeks have found myself getting very angry very easily.

AnnaKiss, I felt like I could have written your original post save the DP is a PhD part. But, everything else rings true...

I want to stop yelling, stop being the *extreme* mama (one extreme to the other) and get back to my gd roots. I am so disappointed in myself, but I feel like I just can't get through a day without losing it.

Thank you for htis thread. I believe it found me at just the right time.

Darcy mama to Dillon, Marah and Leo, partner to Jeremy
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#85 of 142 Old 01-06-2006, 05:48 AM
 
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Fancy D thank you so much for that info. I have been trying the colic tabs but they only work once in a blue moon, i will definately look into the rooibos tea, never heard of it but im willing to give anything a try.

It's 30 minutes after midnight and both my dd's are asleep but this insomnia that has sprouted its ugly head has kept me from snuggling in with them. And dh is on another train and will be gone for at least another day. I decided to take the time to read through all the posts on this thread finally. It has brought tears to my eyes. I had not heard about the mother who threw her kids off the golden gate bridge (i grew up in the bay area) and it BREAKS BREAKS BREAKS my heart.

I dont ever fear for my children's lives being lost by my hands, but instead have the opposite end of the spectrum. Maybe it is some OCD? I will see a knife in the sink and get terrified of my older dd or someone getting ahold of it and stabbing younger dd on accident. Or i will hand dd off to my mom, or sister and im so fearful of them dropping her i can see it happening in my mind. Or the few times i have nursed her in the car, im so fearful of getting hit by other cars i speed up the feeding even though we are parked. I truly think im losing my mind. I wouldnt ever hurt her nor would i want anyone to, instead i think its the complete opposite. I feel like i am being held hostage by my fears. I am so fearful of my dd's getting kidnapped one sleeps in our bed and the other in her crib in our room. I cannot control the world and i know that, but my fear overruns that logic. I am so very tired of this. I have been working so hard at my faith as we've been through a year with scares of leukemia which thankfully were only dd#1 having an immune disorder, we had to back out of our first house we were buying,a job loss, a lyme disease diagnoses which resulted in dh off work for almost half a year and an iv that went to his heart, a bankruptcy and the loss of 2/3 of our income. And with all of that i was able to put things in God's hands and breath easy. But i cannot breath easy about my daughter's safety. Dd#1 is a co-sleeper to this day, dd#2 refuses to co-sleep and has slept wonderfully in the crib from day3. But my guilt about her being in the crib keeps me up at night. I am fearful she will stop breathing or die of sids in the crib, i worry that she wont feel as loved as her sister, or that she will wake up hungry and ill sleep through it because she isnt next to me. When do all of these ridiculous fears and thoughts become manageable? Had someone ever told me motherhood is scary i never would have believed them. Is irrational fears a symptom? How to you combat them?

My house is kept up. The laundry is done, dishes clean and put away, dinner usually on the table and both children as well as myself are always showered and usually clothed halfway lol. Its my way of fighting the depression. My mother is bi-polar and ptsd and i grew up as the mom in the house because she would sleep and not be able to function for weeks at a time. Therefor i'd complete all the household tasks and care for my dad and sisters. I fear that should i let the house go, then the depression will overtake me and my biggest fear of turning into my mother will come true. I have never had mania or bi-polar and i know it cant just develop out of thin air nor is it contagious, but it is another irrational fear. I so badly want to be the mother my girls deserve and dont ever want them to grow up as i did. And i so badly dont want to have any sort of depression. As my older sister told me, i had a homebirth nothing can stop me, so i shouldnt be suffering from ppd cuz im stronger then that. Sigh, i dont know where im going with this post. Sorry to chew your eyes off with my rant. But thank you for listening

Loving mom to 2energy.gif ,1jammin.gif , & 1dog2.gif . Surrodaughter 4/09
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#86 of 142 Old 01-06-2006, 11:23 AM
 
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I had a lot of this fear too. It has finally eased but I still get it a little, makes me queasy and my legs weak. One thing I have found that helps is a poem I found on Mothering. It was called a Unity Prayer:

I see you as God sees you, with plenty to meet your every need.

It kinda helps me get my breathing back to normal and gets me away from the fear.
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#87 of 142 Old 01-06-2006, 12:09 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aka mommy
But my guilt about her being in the crib keeps me up at night. I am fearful she will stop breathing or die of sids in the crib, i worry that she wont feel as loved as her sister, or that she will wake up hungry and ill sleep through it because she isnt next to me.
You're being responsive to her needs, and that makes you a good mama. That's what makes attached kids, not some pre-set bag of rules. Trust me, she won't sleep through hunger or discomfort just because you're not right there! Sounds loke your little one is more independant than your first. I'm sure there are numerous moms who would trade with you in a new york second.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aka mommy
When do all of these ridiculous fears and thoughts become manageable? Had someone ever told me motherhood is scary i never would have believed them. Is irrational fears a symptom? How to you combat them?
The square breathing mentioned earlier is a great tool to combat anxiety, at least for me. Talking myself through the fear helps, too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aka mommy
As my older sister told me, i had a homebirth nothing can stop me, so i shouldnt be suffering from ppd cuz im stronger then that. Sigh, i dont know where im going with this post. Sorry to chew your eyes off with my rant. But thank you for listening
Ok, no offense, but your sister is whack. NO ONE CHOOSES PPD. No one would chooses this depression, how crazy is that? Your sister sounds like my SO, someone who has never dealt with this issue and therefore talks out of their a**. Not to say that she doesn't care, but she doesn't understand


This is exactly the place to come and rant. At least here, we understand your situation and can empathise and sympathise. Much love going out to all of you!

P.S. Are you taking any supplements or vitamins?
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#88 of 142 Old 01-06-2006, 01:36 PM
 
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I responded to this thread last night in the hopes of finding support. Can anyone relate to feelings of anger? I get angry very easily and think to myself a mantra that helps to keep me calm==though not always. The rainy weather here has had me very uptight and furiously cleaning(ocd?).

I am starting each day with a brief me time here on the computer while DS watches his pbs programs : and dd sits here next to me.

looking for support and some reassurance that I can get through each day calmly.

Darcy mama to Dillon, Marah and Leo, partner to Jeremy
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#89 of 142 Old 01-06-2006, 02:24 PM
 
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Also, my DH takes Glucoflex 3-6-9 for ADD and it has flax sed and fish oil. I took the recommended 3 today. Any thoughts on its effectiveness?

TIA!

Here's to a healthful, calm and gently loving day!

Darcy mama to Dillon, Marah and Leo, partner to Jeremy
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#90 of 142 Old 01-06-2006, 03:21 PM
 
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I absolutely felt RAGE! Waves of it... It was essential that I took some "me" time at those moments. So no bag on head for letting your child watch pbs! If it helps you get through your day, and makes you a better mom than there's no shame in that.

This is all my opinion, but I don't value total and utter calmness as a virtue. I am human, and I can feel the whole gamut of emotions. Anger has its place in life, and if it is misplaced, I look at what I'm really angry about (it's usually *something*)

Check w/ your dr. regarding side effects, maybe the anger is from there. I don't take medication, so I don't know a whole lot about it. But if you're worn out and not being supported like you need, you'd probably be angry. And if you felt you couldn't express that for some reason, the anger would come out somewhere, sometime. At least, that was my issue. After having been suppressed, my rage-outs would be 10X worse than if I had been able to express it initially.

Hope this helps a bit, good feelings to you all!
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