Hi, My name is Jenni and I have ppd. Now, that wasn't so bad, was it? I have two dd's 2 1/2 yo and 5 months.
I was diagnosed with ppd when dd#1 was 4 mo old. I felt like it couldn't happen to me--after all she was a perfect baby! She was a good nurser, good sleeper, cheerful disposition, etc. About the same time that I attended a ppd support group in my hometown, my dh admitted that he had been looking at ppd online and was going to try and convince me to seek medical attention had I not decided to do it myself. What a guy!!
Since I had been in counseling in hs and college (for typical teen girl depressive issues), I guessed that that would not work this time. My dr and the psych nurse recommended paxil for me and I was on 10 mg until about halfway through pg with dd#2.
Then I upped my dosage. Is it hormonal or what? All of a sudden I felt like I was out of control again. (Perhaps that explains my tendency to want to lash out at my spirited 2 1/2 yo?). Now I take 15mg and it seems to be working fine.
I have taken Paxil through a pg and two bfing experiences. I also participated in a bfing and antidepressants study with dd#1 and would be happy to share those experiences as well.
I, too, probably would have given up bfing dd#1 had it not been for a local bfing support group (with charter member jbcjmom) that I attended weekly. It helps to know that you are not alone.
Now for the scary part: I hope that this IS the antidepressant talking. I fell in love with dd#2 so much faster than #1. I have a bond with her like I never had with #1. And she is/was excatly the opposite--up at night, still, won't take a bottle, cheerful now, but was a grump of a newborn, etc.
Glad I have found you all!
Edited to add that I shared the bfing and ad study info here:bfing study