Tell therapist or not? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 8 Old 09-04-2006, 04:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
weeirishlass's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,046
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am going to stop going to my therapist. For one, I feel a lot better. But also because I don't think she's very good. Instead of providing insight or asking questions about why I feel the way I do, she offers pracitcal advice. Like she tells me to exercise. Or to take time off. Stuff I can read in any trite magazine article on ppd. She doesn't explore my feelings deeper and she doesn't encourage me to. So I just feel like it's a waste of time. And she also offers parenting advice unsolicited. So a mom comes to you, already feeling insecure, and you offer advice or tell her she doesn't need to do things that way, jsut making her feel more insecure?!?!?! At our very first appointment, she told me to start giving dd rice cereal in a bottle at night. I just brushed it off, but it's continued. So I am going to send her an e-mail cancelling our appt. and telling her I won't be back, but do you think I should go into my reasons for not coming back? In some ways I feel like it could help her as a therapist to know this stuff, but I also don't want to hurt her feelings. THoughts?
weeirishlass is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 8 Old 09-04-2006, 05:24 PM
 
frogguruami's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Under my rock!
Posts: 2,768
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I would definately tell her why. You can say something like It has become obvious that our ideas regarding parenting are very different and therefore I don't think you are the appropriate person to help me through this phase of my life. If you would like me to elaborate I would be happy to provide you with some examples. Or something to that effect.

That way she knows why you are leaving and if she is interested in learning more she can. Perhaps she can even recommend a new therapist that shares your values.
frogguruami is offline  
#3 of 8 Old 09-04-2006, 06:55 PM
 
mandib50's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: my own reality
Posts: 4,698
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i've had crappy therapists in the past and just never went back without saying anything. however, i do think it is fair to say something about why you are leaving, and i certainly would personally do that in the future myself if i were in your shoes.


Midwifery student , Mama to my 4 amazing kids. treehugger.gif

mandib50 is offline  
#4 of 8 Old 09-04-2006, 07:41 PM
 
mamabadger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,743
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'd certainly comment on the feeding advice, at least. The other things she did might well be part of a specific approach to therapy, even if it's one that doesn't work for you. However, her training doesn't make her an expert on infant nutrition or breastfeeding, and her suggestions seem inappropriate to me.
mamabadger is offline  
#5 of 8 Old 09-20-2006, 03:20 AM
 
KatSG's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 1,367
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think you should say exactly what you put in your post. You were looking for real tools to help you work out your emotions and you got trite "advice" instead. And instead of telling you what to do as a parent she should be encouraging you to seek out other parents that share your values for support. I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. That must be so frustrating. I hope you do find someone else that can help you work on the things you want to address.

Kat - mama to Clara (9/29/03): & Iris (5/30/06)
KatSG is offline  
#6 of 8 Old 09-20-2006, 03:46 AM
 
calimommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: stockton, ca
Posts: 83
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
that is why I am becomign a therapist myself... I've had it with ""intern counselors" who want to fix you by giing meds and 3 visits, i have really good insurance... its too bad the therapsit are not that great though.. your best bet is to post things in this forum (your more than welcome to send me an e-mail if tahts better.. I usually check my e-mail every day while Dd is napping

the other thing you can do is start a journal and jsut write whateve thoughts go into your mind (write dow the time your writing in the journal and a sentance or word summarizing why your writing.. ie: "so bored" 1:15 p.m., "im not sure anymore" 3:00 if this does not work for you, leave yourself a voice mail, semnd yourself an e-mail, etc the theory si to see why your having the strong feelings that your having

(Im used to dealing with parents of out of control teens and marital problems)
.. hope this is helpfull!!
calimommy is offline  
#7 of 8 Old 09-20-2006, 03:36 PM
 
royaloakmi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,364
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think that in order to have some closure (and out of fairness to her), you should let her know exactly what you've said in your post.
royaloakmi is offline  
#8 of 8 Old 09-21-2006, 06:13 PM
 
Monkeyfeet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: New York
Posts: 1,615
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by royaloakmi View Post
I think that in order to have some closure (and out of fairness to her), you should let her know exactly what you've said in your post.
ITA!

Hugs.
Monkeyfeet is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off