Tell therapist or not? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 09-04-2006, 05:55 PM - Thread Starter
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I am going to stop going to my therapist. For one, I feel a lot better. But also because I don't think she's very good. Instead of providing insight or asking questions about why I feel the way I do, she offers pracitcal advice. Like she tells me to exercise. Or to take time off. Stuff I can read in any trite magazine article on ppd. She doesn't explore my feelings deeper and she doesn't encourage me to. So I just feel like it's a waste of time. And she also offers parenting advice unsolicited. So a mom comes to you, already feeling insecure, and you offer advice or tell her she doesn't need to do things that way, jsut making her feel more insecure?!?!?! At our very first appointment, she told me to start giving dd rice cereal in a bottle at night. I just brushed it off, but it's continued. So I am going to send her an e-mail cancelling our appt. and telling her I won't be back, but do you think I should go into my reasons for not coming back? In some ways I feel like it could help her as a therapist to know this stuff, but I also don't want to hurt her feelings. THoughts?
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#2 of 8 Old 09-04-2006, 06:24 PM
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I would definately tell her why. You can say something like It has become obvious that our ideas regarding parenting are very different and therefore I don't think you are the appropriate person to help me through this phase of my life. If you would like me to elaborate I would be happy to provide you with some examples. Or something to that effect.

That way she knows why you are leaving and if she is interested in learning more she can. Perhaps she can even recommend a new therapist that shares your values.
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#3 of 8 Old 09-04-2006, 07:55 PM
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i've had crappy therapists in the past and just never went back without saying anything. however, i do think it is fair to say something about why you are leaving, and i certainly would personally do that in the future myself if i were in your shoes.

Midwifery student , Mama to my 4 amazing kids. treehugger.gif

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#4 of 8 Old 09-04-2006, 08:41 PM
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I'd certainly comment on the feeding advice, at least. The other things she did might well be part of a specific approach to therapy, even if it's one that doesn't work for you. However, her training doesn't make her an expert on infant nutrition or breastfeeding, and her suggestions seem inappropriate to me.
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#5 of 8 Old 09-20-2006, 04:20 AM
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I think you should say exactly what you put in your post. You were looking for real tools to help you work out your emotions and you got trite "advice" instead. And instead of telling you what to do as a parent she should be encouraging you to seek out other parents that share your values for support. I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. That must be so frustrating. I hope you do find someone else that can help you work on the things you want to address.

Kat - mama to Clara (9/29/03): & Iris (5/30/06)
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#6 of 8 Old 09-20-2006, 04:46 AM
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that is why I am becomign a therapist myself... I've had it with ""intern counselors" who want to fix you by giing meds and 3 visits, i have really good insurance... its too bad the therapsit are not that great though.. your best bet is to post things in this forum (your more than welcome to send me an e-mail if tahts better.. I usually check my e-mail every day while Dd is napping

the other thing you can do is start a journal and jsut write whateve thoughts go into your mind (write dow the time your writing in the journal and a sentance or word summarizing why your writing.. ie: "so bored" 1:15 p.m., "im not sure anymore" 3:00 if this does not work for you, leave yourself a voice mail, semnd yourself an e-mail, etc the theory si to see why your having the strong feelings that your having

(Im used to dealing with parents of out of control teens and marital problems)
.. hope this is helpfull!!
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#7 of 8 Old 09-20-2006, 04:36 PM
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I think that in order to have some closure (and out of fairness to her), you should let her know exactly what you've said in your post.
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#8 of 8 Old 09-21-2006, 07:13 PM
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Originally Posted by royaloakmi View Post
I think that in order to have some closure (and out of fairness to her), you should let her know exactly what you've said in your post.

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