I'm a terrible mother - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 23 Old 05-04-2007, 05:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Anybody else feel like that? We're doing okay, but this is something I constantly, constantly have to struggle and battle with.

How do you fight your doubts? What kind of self-talk do you do?

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#2 of 23 Old 05-04-2007, 05:39 PM
 
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I couldn't read this with out replying. I suffered terrible ppd and often felt this way. Are you seeing anyone about your depression? I would share these feelings with them so you can begin to feel good about your parenting.

Mom to Iris and Henry
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#3 of 23 Old 05-04-2007, 05:43 PM
 
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I'm sure that ALL women have felt this way at one time or another. Always try to remember that you're human and that none of us are perfect, and that you're doing the very best that you possibly can do for your child. None of us are experts when we first have children, and we WILL make mistakes along the line. Our mothers made mistakes with us, and we turned out just fine, right?
However, you shouldn't bottle these feelings up. It's good that you reached out to the forum, and I suggest that you also talk to your doctor/spouse/friends/family so you don't feel so alone and you have their support too.
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#4 of 23 Old 05-04-2007, 05:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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No, I'm not seeing anyone, though I think it would be good to. I don't know if I have depression though, as I'm functional mostly in my life. I just get so down on myself when certain problems crop up in our family. I just have such high standards for myself in being a "good" parent. I'm so worried I'm going to ruin dd.

Being PG again is a big trigger for me (even though it was planned and I'm happy about it). Dh is happy too but is looking ahead to the early postpartum with "trepidation". Neither of us do well with sleep deprivation. I feel sad but understand why he feels that way. I wish both of us were more resilient. It makes me feel a little depressed.

The problem is finding a good fit with a counsellor. I spoke with three counsellors in the year after dd was born, all of them wanted me to stop co-sleeping and do CIO. None of them agreed with some of the AP stuff that felt so right to us. This made it very difficult to get help. One counsellor was moderately helpful with some of the stuff she said and did.

The problem too is that dd is very intense and persistent. I sometimes feel very very tired and worn out dealing with her. But she really is a beautiful and lovely bright wonderful child. I waste so much energy beating myself up each day, agonizing over my choices, worrying if I'm making the right decisions.

Sigh. I guess I'll just have to start getting out there again and being a fierce advocate for myself. I'm just so tired though. I am 3 wks PG with bb#2 and have already started interviewing doulas who have experience working with women who had a traumatic birth and mood issues. The response is, "Wow, you're doing this early." Yes. Yes. I want to make sure I get good help. Good help is hard to find. I wish it wasn't so hard.

Thanks for your reply. Thanks for listening. My friends IRL don't listen well.

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#5 of 23 Old 05-04-2007, 05:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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jessieann - you're so right about our mothers making mistakes too and us turning out all right. You know, the thing is, that in my family the mistakes didn't always turn out alright. I have a brother who disowned the family because of his inability to get over the mistakes my parents made (there are other issues there as well, such as undiagnosed and untreated mental illness).

I have turned the legacy of abuse around in numerous ways so far in our family. And there were some things my parents did that were really great, and those things I try to carry on in to my family life. But I am very nervous and not confident in my ability to be there totally for my child(ren). I'm afraid.

Thanks for listening. I should go to a counsellor because my family and friends just don't know how to be supportive enough, or are too judgemental, or just don't understand. I'm also tired of telling things to dh and I think it tires him out to hear me with these probs all the time.

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#6 of 23 Old 05-04-2007, 07:57 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Emese'sMom View Post
jessieann - you're so right about our mothers making mistakes too and us turning out all right. You know, the thing is, that in my family the mistakes didn't always turn out alright. I have a brother who disowned the family because of his inability to get over the mistakes my parents made (there are other issues there as well, such as undiagnosed and untreated mental illness).

I have turned the legacy of abuse around in numerous ways so far in our family. And there were some things my parents did that were really great, and those things I try to carry on in to my family life. But I am very nervous and not confident in my ability to be there totally for my child(ren). I'm afraid.

Thanks for listening. I should go to a counsellor because my family and friends just don't know how to be supportive enough, or are too judgemental, or just don't understand. I'm also tired of telling things to dh and I think it tires him out to hear me with these probs all the time.

Just try to keep in mind that nobody is perfect, and as long as you're giving it your best shot, you ARE a good mother. Try not to worry too much about the future, but instead worry about the present. If you take each day as it comes, life is much, much easier to cope with. Why worry about what your child will think of you when they become an adult? You should be more worried about their CURRENT happiness and well being. You have to remember that even the all american seeming family next door has skeletons in their closet, and that there's nothing that can't be worked out with a little hard work, dedication and love.
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#7 of 23 Old 05-04-2007, 10:34 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Emese'sMom View Post

The problem too is that dd is very intense and persistent. I sometimes feel very very tired and worn out dealing with her. But she really is a beautiful and lovely bright wonderful child. I waste so much energy beating myself up each day, agonizing over my choices, worrying if I'm making the right decisions.


Thanks for your reply. Thanks for listening. My friends IRL don't listen well.
OMG, I totally understand. My dd (4) is JUST like that- bright, energetic, creative but also totally demanding of my attention, since she was a newborn, persistent, mommy-look-at-me-talk-to-me in your face ALL DAY long, very needy in lots of ways. Then I have toddler boy, 22 mths, who is more laid back but also needs attention, obviously, the both of them fighting over me sometimes.....and one due in May :

I feel completely consumed some days, and just so...worn out and burned out. Then I feel down because I am not enjoying them and push them away a bit, and THEN I feel like "I am a bad mom" thing. I spend way too much time feeling guilty- here I will post you an email I wrote to a friend:

"It has been bothering me lately that I spend so much time feeling guilty
about what I do, or neglect to do as a mother. I tried to make three
categories:

The "I should be doing more" guilt
More educational things, more "quality time" with crafts, books, projects,
more "special time" together. When I am cleaning, or preoccupied with stuff
not- kid related, I am always thinking "you should be....should be....should
be.....spending time with them, playing with them, down on the floor doing
legos or gettting out play-do, or engaging them, doing things THEY love,
taking them to really fun places...I feel guilty for being too tired or
cranky or stressed to do all I want to do. I think I have to make the most
of every day, because they will grow up and I want them (and me) to look
back on lots of great memories.


The "oh my gosh I just yelled or was short or critical with the kids" guilt

That is when I get on their backs about something small, like crumbs on the
floor, and yell or am less than kind and understanding, or get impatient.
Then I see I hurt Elianna's feelings and feel like an ass and worry that I
am hurting her self-esteem, or her self-imagine and will scar her for life,
etc. etc. I notice I expect more of her as the oldest. I try and praise for
every time I get critical and impatient, but....

The "I should be enjoying them every minute" guilt

This is a big one. Every time I feel annoyed with them, or just resentful of
their needs or their demands on me, I have these obsessive thoughts like
"soon they will be all grown up and you will miss this time", or "if it is
so hard for you to meet their needs, then why did you have kids?", or even
worse I think "what if they got killed in a car crash tommorow, and you
didn't enjoy every single minute you had with them!!" That always goes
through my head and drives me crazy. I think I could lose the kids, and then
I will wish all the times back that they were screaming for me, or demanding
juice/snacks/attention/help/whatever. So it gets obsessive that I have to
"enjoy" ever single minute, and if I don't, I feel guilty about my feelings.
This is the worst guilt for sure, because it eats me up."

See what I mean?

If you ever want to chat through email about how we moms can get RID of this "bad mom syndrome" let me know! I just got a script for Zoloft, because I just haven't been doing so well with them, and the anxiety over the new baby coming.

Anyhow, sorry no good advice yet, but just telling you you are not the only one.
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#8 of 23 Old 05-05-2007, 01:08 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Mindy70 View Post
The "I should be doing more" guilt More educational things, more "quality time" with crafts, books, projects, more "special time" together. When I am cleaning, or preoccupied with stuff
not- kid related, I am always thinking "you should be....should be....should be.....spending time with them, playing with them, down on the floor doing legos or gettting out play-do, or engaging them, doing things THEY love, taking them to really fun places...I feel guilty for being too tired or cranky or stressed to do all I want to do. I think I have to make the most of every day, because they will grow up and I want them (and me) to look
back on lots of great memories.

The "I should be enjoying them every minute" guilt. This is a big one. Every time I feel annoyed with them, or just resentful of their needs or their demands on me, I have these obsessive thoughts like "soon they will be all grown up and you will miss this time", or "if it is so hard for you to meet their needs, then why did you have kids?", or even worse I think "what if they got killed in a car crash tommorow, and you didn't enjoy every single minute you had with them!!" That always goes
through my head and drives me crazy. I think I could lose the kids, and then I will wish all the times back that they were screaming for me, or demanding juice/snacks/attention/help/whatever. So it gets obsessive that I have to "enjoy" ever single minute, and if I don't, I feel guilty about my feelings. This is the worst guilt for sure, because it eats me up."
That is exactly what I am thinking! But somewhere I read: The days are long but the years fly by. So, that's my mantra, and then I refocus.
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#9 of 23 Old 05-07-2007, 02:49 PM
 
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I hear what all of you are saying. One thing that comes to mind is a quote I know really applies to me personally: "They say the unexamined life is not worth living, but the overexamined life is hell." I do take a lot of pride and care in making thoughtful choices for my kids. I'm a SAHM-- this is my job, after all. But sometimes I have to just look at the whole thing and laugh. Like last week when I dressed my baby in a lovely Absorba outfit, fed him a jar of organic baby food, and set him on the family room floor just long enough for me to log into email, during which time he ate a button battery and had to be rushed to the ER. Yes I felt guilty, but I had to let it go and pull myself back from the situation and, once I had gotten the phone call that he was going to be fine, laugh inwardly at it all. Here I am trying so hard to make good choices for my kids, but all the organic baby food and French outfits in the world don't make a bit of difference when your baby's eating batteries while you're in your email!! Parenthood can be a comedy of errors and that's just how it is. All you can do is make thoughtful choices and try to control the inevitable chaos.

The other thing is, people always look at me with big eyes and say "I don't know how you can handle four kids, I can hardly handle two!!" But the thing is, I can remember **SO WELL** when my oldest kids were 3 and 1 and I was just in a constant struggle with myself that seemed to center around Little House on the Prairie. "In pioneer days the women did this and that and made their own soap and didn't get overwhelmed... why do I feel so stressed out about MY life?" I had those thoughts all the time, trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Now I have 4, and I find my life to be infinitely easier. I'm more experienced as a mom. I have a better sense what could screw up my kids and what won't (hint: most things won't). When you have one or two very small children, IT'S JUST A HARD TIME. It just is. You can't compare your life to anybody else's and wonder what's wrong with you. About the best thing you can do is cut yourself some slack and acknowledge that you are in the middle of a very common, very big challenge.

Don't get me wrong, I still get stressed about plenty of things as a mother. It just doesn't all feel as overwhelming and-- I admit-- often-unrewarding as it did when my oldest kids were tiny. When your kids get old enough that they can watch Supernanny and shake their heads in amazement at the holy terrors on the show, you can smile to yourself and know you've done OK after all.
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#10 of 23 Old 05-07-2007, 03:36 PM
 
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BEING A MOMMY IS SO HARD. SO VERY HARD. IT TAKES SO MUCH- TO CREATE LIFE- AND THEN TO NURTURE THAT LIFE ONCE BORN.
I find that it is important to take time for myself I am very fortunate that I have a husband who gives me "mommy time" without that time I would break. My hat is off to all single mothers, or mommies who don't have supportive husbands.
Its important to "recharge your batteries". I tell my three year old :Mommy needs a time out" LOL.
TAKE CARE OF YOU- TRY NOT TO LOSE YOURSELF and DO NOT FEEL GUILTY ABOUT DOING SO. You didn't stop being a person when you became a mother.
Please know that everyone feels like a bad mother, in fact I am convinced my three year old doesn't like me LOL.
I'll confess sometimes I feel like putting up a white flag, and saying hey, I GIVE UP, I didn't know what I was getting myself into. LOL.
One of the things that really helps me when "MOMMY IS HAVE A BAD DAY" and has NOTHING TO GIVE. I think about all of those precious children that are very ill and at the Hospital, and I think you know I betcha that THOSE PARENTS - would give anything to have a child who could tear up the house and get into things. That gives me a little perspective. But its hard, it really is. I used to work two jobs a collective 70 hours a week I did that for about 10 years and you know what IT WAS EASIER THAN BEING HOME WITH MY KIDS. I think about the "end result".
Hugs to you momma, its a natural and normal feeling.
YOU WILL BE FINE.
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#11 of 23 Old 05-07-2007, 04:01 PM
 
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My therapist describes PPD as "the perfect storm". There are many qualities a person has to have to get PPD and one of them is perfectionism, which you sound like you have. (Me, too!)

I would absolutely get help. EVERY therapist I talked to was against Co-sleeping, too. EBF, too. You just have to ignore that part. Another symptom of depression is throwing off anyone who doesn't totally fit your perfect idea of what someone should be. That was me. I would come out of their office fuming, thinking "how can they help me if they don't AGREE with me?"

They don't have to agree with your parenting choices. My pediatrician, family, therapist, OBGYN, etc. do NOT support my choices to co-sleep, delay vaccines, breastfeed my toddler WHILE PREGNANT, etc. That is okay. They don't have to. But if they can all help me in the way that I have hired them to, which in my therapists case is to help me deal with depression and irrrational thoughts so that I can function and not be constantly irritable... then they are doing what I pay them for.

Just my two cents. You will have a really hard time finding someone who will not tell you to stop co-sleeping or whatever. Just keep that to yourself, if you want. But try and find a therapist you get along with, otherwise.

Best Wishes. I know what you are going through and it DOES get so much better.

Oh- and there are many meds you can take while pregnant. I am currently on a very small dose of Zoloft that I was taking when I got pregnant and have continued. It helps me to be a better mommy to the baby I have here, you know? There are also lots of studies that show that it is more dangerous to a fetus to have a depressed mother than to take meds. Just thought that might help if you are faced with the choice to take meds or not.

Mom to two beautiful boys, now in school to be a therapist and help other women with PPD.  
 

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#12 of 23 Old 05-07-2007, 11:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Mindy70 View Post
OMG, I totally understand. [...] The "I should be doing more" guilt; More educational things, more "quality time" with crafts, books, projects, more "special time" together. When I am cleaning, or preoccupied with stuff not- kid related, I am always thinking "you should be....should be....should be.....spending time with them, playing with them, down on the floor doing legos or gettting out play-do, or engaging them, doing things THEY love, taking them to really fun places...I feel guilty for being too tired or cranky or stressed to do all I want to do. [...] The "oh my gosh I just yelled or was short or critical with the kids" guilt
Thank you, I could SO relate to what you were saying! Good to know I'm not alone...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Christine&men View Post
That is exactly what I am thinking! But somewhere I read: The days are long but the years fly by. So, that's my mantra, and then I refocus.
Yes, I've heard this before and it makes good sense. Must write it down and post it for myself!

Quote:
Originally Posted by mikes_becky View Post
"They say the unexamined life is not worth living, but the overexamined life is hell." [...] Parenthood can be a comedy of errors and that's just how it is. All you can do is make thoughtful choices and try to control the inevitable chaos. [...] Now I have 4, and I find my life to be infinitely easier. I'm more experienced as a mom. I have a better sense what could screw up my kids and what won't (hint: most things won't). When you have one or two very small children, IT'S JUST A HARD TIME. It just is.
Great stuff. I should print out this thread and read it over and over!!! Thanks mamas!!!!!

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Originally Posted by november21 View Post
BEING A MOMMY IS SO HARD. SO VERY HARD. IT TAKES SO MUCH- TO CREATE LIFE- AND THEN TO NURTURE THAT LIFE ONCE BORN. [...] "mommy time" TAKE CARE OF YOU- TRY NOT TO LOSE YOURSELF and DO NOT FEEL GUILTY ABOUT DOING SO. You didn't stop being a person when you became a mother.
Please know that everyone feels like a bad mother, in fact I am convinced my three year old doesn't like me LOL.
I'll confess sometimes I feel like putting up a white flag, and saying hey, I GIVE UP, I didn't know what I was getting myself into. LOL.
One of the things that really helps me when "MOMMY IS HAVE A BAD DAY" and has NOTHING TO GIVE. I think about all of those precious children that are very ill and at the Hospital,
So much of what you say resonates, thank you. I also say the same thing to myself when having a rough day with dd.....when she's sick I remind myself that I'd give ANYTHING to have her act out and be back to her normal self!

Quote:
Originally Posted by mom0810 View Post
My therapist describes PPD as "the perfect storm". There are many qualities a person has to have to get PPD and one of them is perfectionism, which you sound like you have. (Me, too!)

I would absolutely get help. EVERY therapist I talked to was against Co-sleeping, too. EBF, too. You just have to ignore that part. Another symptom of depression is throwing off anyone who doesn't totally fit your perfect idea of what someone should be. That was me. I would come out of their office fuming, thinking "how can they help me if they don't AGREE with me?" [...] I am currently on a very small dose of Zoloft that I was taking when I got pregnant and have continued. It helps me to be a better mommy to the baby I have here, you know? There are also lots of studies that show that it is more dangerous to a fetus to have a depressed mother than to take meds. Just thought that might help if you are faced with the choice to take meds or not.
OMG you hit the nail on the head with the perfectionism stuff. I have been working on that for a decade and a half! And it STILL pervades. Sigh. Well, gotta keep at it. What you've said has given me a lot to think about. I think there's a lot of good truth in it. I agree that it's best to take what you can from the therapist and discard the rest. I agree. It does have value.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU Mamas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dd wants to write: oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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#13 of 23 Old 05-08-2007, 07:15 AM
 
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I don't have much to add, but

I'm in the same boat. I'm on antidepressants, but it just doesn't seem to be enough. I'm sure you're a good mom. I constantly doubt myself, but I know I'm a good mom, too.

I hope things get better for you!
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#14 of 23 Old 05-08-2007, 08:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks

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#15 of 23 Old 05-13-2007, 01:42 PM
 
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I feel the same way most of the time. My son prefers my mil to me because she actually likes being around him. For Mother's Day all I want is to be alone.

Mom to a bright & energetic 6 y.o. boy  blahblah.gif   With my sweetie for 10 years now  blowkiss.gif  Registered nurse  caffix.gif

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#16 of 23 Old 05-14-2007, 01:11 AM
 
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You've gotten some great advice and I just wanted to add a hug and to say that I can really sympathize with you about seeking counseling or talking to others ... In the back of my mind I think part of the reason I've been sorta quiet with my feelings and not seeking help or talking much to people (aside from feeling ashamed of feeling this way) is that I'm afraid someone will say I need to stop breastfeeding/co-sleeping/babywearing/ or attachment parenting and those are actually the things in my life which I feel so good about!

I guess maybe the key is to keep looking for someone who will come at this from my attachment, natural parenting perspective. I hope we can both find that person.

Oh, and Congratulations on your pregnancy! I think it is wonderful that you're already interviewing doulas and looking for all the support and help you can get - what a wonderful gift to yourself and your family!

Best Wishes!

knit.gifKara~ Rockin' Granola wife to Christopher and mama to J (Nov. '01), M (June '06), L (May '08) and stork-girl.gif (edd 8/3/11)
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#17 of 23 Old 05-14-2007, 02:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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At the very least it would be nice to find a counsellor who can help me find MY WAY, not their way! At least to be non-biased about the parenting approaches! Still, I think there is something to be gained from a counsellor who can offer some helpful things, it doesn't have to be all or nothing. For myself, when I wanted to find someone who wouldn't make me try to stop co-sleeping etc. I guess if I was already feeling insecure about my ability to be a good mother, I wanted someone to reinforce that yes, what I was doing was alright and good, etc. But I see that you have to go out on a limb yourself for much and tell yourself you're doing a good job. (shrugging)

stacyann -

Our children love us. I have found that being more playful and taking care of myself makes a huge difference in my patience for a day. I also have to be vigilant with caffeine consumption (cut it out), refined sugars, instead eat lots of fruit, veg, protein, healthy stuff, and take my vitamins and EXERCISE!!!!!!!! Even just 20 mins 3+ times per week. Makes a HUGE difference. Anyone else?

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#18 of 23 Old 05-14-2007, 11:37 AM
 
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Hey Emese's Mom,

I am the same as you. I can't wait to have another child, but I am so worried about the sleep deprivation it comes with. How do AP moms do it? We are cosleeping with #1, and I do love it, but I can not sleep with him in the room. I will miss the time I will have with him. We are currently gently transitioning him to his crib which is still in our room! When he is older, he will go in his own room if he is ready.

With our next child, we decided that we are going to take it as it comes, depending on the nature of the child. But if he/she is easy going, we are going to use a crib when they are about 2 months old, keep them in the room for a few more weeks, and then transition to their room. I will still wake up to nurse, etc.

Some people think, what's the use? But, I can survive on a 2-3 hour stretch of sleep at a time, especially if I get a few of them. It is the time BETWEEN the feedings that I stay awake because dc is right next to me. I would rather have a stretch of sleep and have to get up and walk to the crib than always be awake in the bed.

Anyway, thought that might help. Every child will be different, and who knows, this one may not want to cosleep at all, and sleep better by themselves!

Jenny, mother of two boys; 7-25-06 and 7-27-08. Loving wife to Cole. I love birth! :
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#19 of 23 Old 05-14-2007, 01:04 PM
 
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At the very least it would be nice to find a counsellor who can help me find MY WAY, not their way! At least to be non-biased about the parenting approaches! Still, I think there is something to be gained from a counsellor who can offer some helpful things, it doesn't have to be all or nothing.
exactly! Like it doesn't have to be all or nothing on either end (or at least to be non-biased would be an excellent starting point for both patient and counsellor)

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I also have to be vigilant with caffeine consumption (cut it out), refined sugars, instead eat lots of fruit, veg, protein, healthy stuff, and take my vitamins and EXERCISE!!!!!!!! Even just 20 mins 3+ times per week. Makes a HUGE difference. Anyone else?
Yes. Kinda makes the whole "you are what you eat" thing have a little different meaning ... like your moods are what you eat, or at least some of mine seem to be anyway I've been telling myself I need to caffeine to get through the day but I think it actually stresses me out more and makes me more hypervigilant, or at least contributes to that.

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#20 of 23 Old 05-15-2007, 03:10 AM
 
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Emese'sMom- When I read some of your posts, I actually said to myself, "Is she me?" I have felt exactly the way you have. I don't have any great solution, but I'm trying to go easier on myself. I harbor a lot of guilt and I need to let it go. Today with dd was great! Yesterday was awful because she was really tired and I was cranky. I realized that the way I start the morning with my kids can affect the whole day. My bad mood really comes back to bite me when my dd gets angry/imaptient/crabby because I am. I have to keep telling myself to let my anger go and focus on something else. Yes, exercise and good food are really important. It's almost impossible for me to exercise alone during the week because dh gets home and then we're totally focused on dinner, cleanup and getting ds into bed at 7. I need to schedule less and just take a long walk with the kids during the day. That's perfect exercise for me now. Oh, and keep looking for a good counselor. There's got to be one near you who will respect your parenting decisions.

Mindy70- What you wrote about guilt was right on. I drown myself in all those forms of guilt. At least I know I'm not the only one.
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#21 of 23 Old 05-16-2007, 12:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
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riversong - Sad but true how many of us have that constant doubting voice. I think this is something counselling can help with. As for the irritability and starting the day cranky - yes, this can really set the tone for all. Taking care of your container (sleep, walking in sun, eating when hungry) definitely helps. It does help to try to focus on something else, redirect the mind to something more positive too. s to all who are trying to work against that negative voice.

The social worker I saw when I had some PPD had me wear an elastic band on my wrist and snap it every time I thought something negative ("I am a bad mother" *snap!* replace with positive thought "I am a good mother" "I am a good enough mother"). I was AMAZED by how often I was snapping. It really put things in to persective for me on the negative chatter going on inside my head. Anybody else try something like this before?

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#22 of 23 Old 05-16-2007, 06:03 PM
 
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I am starting a support group for mothers just like you,I have been to therapists and counselers and doctors and let me tell you one thing they all had in common,THEY HAVE NEVER SUFFERED FROM POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION.The only real professionals on this topic are the women who have survived it.I am in the process of getting the resources together to start a safe haven for women who need understanding caring people to help them, and to listen to them,also i would like to give you my email address [email protected], i am in contact with other mothers who are feeling the same way you are,it does help to talk to other mothers who know the way you feel!!!! As for you wondering if you are a good parent, The "proffesionals"will always tell you the way they think you need to be doing something with your own child but always remember that #1 you love your little angel,#2dont sweat the small stuff,#3 if you spend to much time worrying that your not the perfect parent you might miss all the wonderful little things they do.It sounds to me like you are doing everything right according to your own unique situation.if it seems right to you than it is right.
as for your pregnancy,I have four children and i am 29,I had severe ppd with my 3rd so needless to say i was terrified that i would have it with my 4th but i had none.Please feel free to email me and join our support group.My name is denise
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#23 of 23 Old 05-16-2007, 11:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi Denise, wow I admire consumer/survivors who pull together to make their own groups. So much to share, so much learned from experience! I've always wondered how people maintain enough distance not to get overwhelmed by others' issues in a group.... I imagine it happens at least SOME of the time. How do you do it? And how many in the group so far?

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