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#1 of 72 Old 07-25-2007, 07:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Every single time I nurse Kalten, within 30 seconds of latching on, I feel this deep sadness/hopelessness, sometimes physically in my chest. Could it be hormonal? We've always had a pretty good nursing relationship, and whenever people say stuff like "he's so big!" I feel so proud that he's BF and I'm meeting his needs and keeping him healthy. When it happens, I try to put words to it and figure out what's wrong, but nothing ever is. What is it? I'd really like to figure it out, as it seems to be getting worse.
the following is poster's replies and my answers
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BUT, the times I've felt it, I know it had nothing to do with any of this or anything else in my life for that matter. I could tell it was purely hormonal.
Yeah, somehow I really think it doesn't have anything to do with things going on. It just feels like feelings.

could you be pregnant?
Hm. I doubt it, but I would absolutely love that! Maybe I'll try that preg test I have at home. DH and I planned on stopping BC in December.

Was the birth difficult? Was your own birth or babyhood difficult?
Those are questions that popped into my head, reading your post. Maybe you are still processing something.
Or hormones. Or both.
That's the thing. Everything was/is pretty much perfect...

Are you mourning something? Were you hoping for a natural birth and had a c/s...? Did you have a miscarriage before this pregnancy...? Going back to work soon...? Maybe miss your "old self" a little...?
I remember when DS was a little baby, sometimes when we were nursing or I was lying in bed with him watching him sleep, I would feel so overwhelmed with love that I would burst into tears. It terrified me how much I could love another person, and that if something happened to him I didn't think I could go on living. Basically, I was a hormonal wreck.
The only thing I can think of is that I wanted to do it without an epi but ended up with one and felt a little guilty for a week or two. But I'm pretty sure I'm over that. I've done the "burst into tears with love" thing a few times. It's different from that, but maybe related?

dooney, my mom had post partum depression after me that really showed itself the most when she let down during breastfeeding. She would have an overwhelming sadness that was not just an emotional feeling, but also a physical one...she says that she could feel it in her chest, sometimes a sadness so deep it was in her very bones. The hormones involved with breastfeeding did intensify the feeling of sadness to a huge degree. For her it got worse because I had colic from food allergies that she didn't know about and I was a really, really, really cranky baby. Too, though she was happy in her marriage, she didn't have much support in her post partum period at all, and so was tired to boot. All of those things combined made for a very sad mama, especially with the hormones of let down.
If you think that that might be the case, I will echo the other pp's and suggest that you DO see your doctor. There are things you can do, naturally as well as chemically, that are safe and effective for treating ppd, and will help to make you feel normal again...even if it's just when you're breastfeeding.
That's exactly how I would describe it. Maybe it's so mild for me because I have a lot of support and Kalten's a really easy baby.
What kind of doctor treats PPD? I don't have a regular doctor. Would my OB help?

Thank you guys so much for your support and ideas and mostly for making me feel like I'm not alone and not crazy. I'd never heard of anyone being sad only while nursing. Within the last few days the sadness sometimes hasn't gone away which worries me. DH and I have a date planned for tonight and K's going to grandma's so maybe that will help a little.
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I finally called the women's health center. ("I'm going to have you hold a minute - oh wait, are you thinking of hurting yourself or the baby? lol)They made me answer a bunch of questions (I have blamed myself unnecessarily when things have gone wrong a-all the time, b-most of the time, c-hardly ever, or d-not at all - ARGH!) before she would let me explain. It made me so frustrated and for the rest of the call I was bordering on tears. I haven't cried the whole time this has been a problem. When I got to explain what was wrong, the nurse talked to my OB and he said it sounded like a rush of estrogen whenever I nurse. My options were a low dose of... I think she said Lexapro? or "monitor it and let us know if it worsens."
Now I think I am worse off than before.
I had her call in the prescription but I don't know if I'll pick it up.
and the update:
I finally decided to pick up the prescription. I went to take one today and the sticker on the bottle said "do not take this medicine if you are breastfeeding."

Well DUH. The nurse wrote me the prescription when I said that I get depressed WHEN HE NURSES, so she had to know.

I called and got another nurse. She said it says that because there's not enough research to call it safe. Well, I'm not taking it.

She said another option (what? another option? the first nurse said meds or deal with it) is a therapist who can maybe help me deal with the emotions and stuff, and then refer me to a psychiatrist (at this point I'm thinking I'm in way over my head) to talk about medicine.

BUT... I have to wait until August 6 for the appointment. Meanwhile I have been singing, reading, etc to distract myself.

Thanks if you've read this whole thing. I'm just looking for some support. I guess I'm tempted to just cancel the appointment and go it alone, partly cause I don't like admitting there's a problem, partly for the impending insurance struggle.
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#2 of 72 Old 07-25-2007, 08:37 PM
 
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Hi Dooney! We were in the same ddc. I couldn't read this and not respond. I lurk on this forum because I got hit with a bad bout of ppd and while it wasn't just while nursing, I empathize with your feelings of confusion and wanting to "go it alone"....not wanting to admit to struggling etc. I lashed out at my ds a couple of times though and realized that I was hating my life, thats when I called the midwives, who called in script for zoloft asap. I guess knowing how much I was against taking anything helped them realize that if I was asking for it that I must really need it. It DID give me a lifeline when I needed one. I weaned myself off of it almost as soon as I started though, after reading the Mood Cure which sprang from a thread in this forum actually titled "A True Natural Remedy". It's a majorly long thread and I haven't gotten through the whole thing but it's led me down a different path on my journey. So far so good! I'm doing St. John's Wort and a bunch of amino acids. I don't know where I was going with that. I guess I just wanted to say hello and to offer a . No one can tell us how to proceed down our personal path of course but its support you want so its support you have. Lots and lots
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#3 of 72 Old 07-25-2007, 10:35 PM
 
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Hi dooney! I wanted to respond because I was so surprised to see this!! I had the exact same problem with both of my boys. For me, the first time it lasted probably 9 months and the second time it lasted about 6 months. Mine was pretty fleeting. It would last maybe a minute right after he'd latch on. I'm positive it was hormonal.

With DS1 I had no PPD, not even baby blues and with DS2 I think I did struggle with it for awhile. (I didn't talk to a Dr. about it. I just started myself on vitamins- B12, fish oil & a multi. For me that was enough, but it is probably not the case for all.) Both of my births went extremely well so there was really no explaination in that regard. With DS1 we had a horrible time nursing for at least the first 3 months but with DS2 it was fine.

Both times I just rode it out and it eventually went away. I hope this will give you some sort of hope that yes there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I asked this question before and nobody could really give me an answer. I don't know how severely you are feeling this but I'm glad you are asking questions because for me, it would've helped to know that I wasn't alone! You can PM me anytime!

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#4 of 72 Old 07-25-2007, 11:30 PM
 
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Holy. Cow. I can't believe I just read this. I only happened upon this post by mere chance. I just want you to know that you are ABSOLUTELY not alone. I have NEVER met ANYONE but myself who experiences this exact same thing. I'm in shock. I've talked to all my friends, LLL and everything inbetween to see if anyone has ever had this happen and I am the only one. My ND is the only person who has heard of it upon letdown and is currently treating me with homeopathy.

It is 100% hormones mama! I've had this happen with ALL 4 of my kiddos while bfing. It is the strangest thing ever and I really hate it. It's super strong right after birth and for some time after but then ( for me anyway) it seems to slowly get less intense. My dd is 10 mo and I still have it to some degree though it's much easier to deal with now. I even lose my appetite upon letdown. I imediately feel as though I hate food if I think about it even if I was starving previous to nursing. As soon as let down passes it lifts pretty much but it's aweful strange to go through.

We can talk more via pm if you'd like. Please feel free. I would LOVE to hear from someone else who has/is going through this.

Ima to Mizz.Jonas- 14, Isman- 12,Javsar- 9, Nani Gweesa- 4 and Baby Micah born into the Universe sleeping at full term Oct. 19th 2008 and Partner to Abba ~ belly.gif8/2011  Grateful to be Dead  broc1.gif
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#5 of 72 Old 07-25-2007, 11:34 PM
 
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Lovingmommyhood- I didn't even notice your post since I was so thrown by the op. s I guess we have a tiny little tribe here... wonder if there are others? I'm telling you, I thought I was so wierd for so many years over this.

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#6 of 72 Old 07-26-2007, 12:16 AM
 
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Holy. Cow. I can't believe I just read this. I only happened upon this post by mere chance. I just want you to know that you are ABSOLUTELY not alone. I have NEVER met ANYONE but myself who experiences this exact same thing. I'm in shock. I've talked to all my friends, LLL and everything inbetween to see if anyone has ever had this happen and I am the only one. My ND is the only person who has heard of it upon letdown and is currently treating me with homeopathy.

It is 100% hormones mama! I've had this happen with ALL 4 of my kiddos while bfing. It is the strangest thing ever and I really hate it. It's super strong right after birth and for some time after but then ( for me anyway) it seems to slowly get less intense. My dd is 10 mo and I still have it to some degree though it's much easier to deal with now. I even lose my appetite upon letdown. I imediately feel as though I hate food if I think about it even if I was starving previous to nursing. As soon as let down passes it lifts pretty much but it's aweful strange to go through.

We can talk more via pm if you'd like. Please feel free. I would LOVE to hear from someone else who has/is going through this.

Holy Cow! I can't believe I just read this! : This is exactly what happened to me with both my kids. I remembered loving being able to bf but hating it at the same time because I would get this rush of "yucky" feelings that I couldn't explain every time I would nurse.
I remember talking to my husband about it after my son was born. I was saying how frustrating it was because other moms would talk about the rush of love and good feelings they would have when they let down and I just felt really odd, sad, anxious, etc. I figured it must be hormones. My DH suggested calling my OB. I never did and now over time it has pretty much passed on it's own.
What I did do though that really helped was watch the "Ellen" Show or any comedy that I could find on TV while I nursed. I know I should be staring into my childs beautiful eyes while BF....or that's what I've been told. But for me having something really funny on the tv absolutely helped take my mind off the down feelings. Without the TV as a distraction, I would just wallow in the sad thoughts that would come into my head while I was nursing.
I will say again that it has pretty much passed on it's own. So, there is hope mama.
Just Tivo "Ellen" like I did so you can flip it on whenever you're nursing. But, Wow! I had never heard of anyone else experiencing this.
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#7 of 72 Old 07-26-2007, 12:22 AM
 
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Most meds say "do not take while breastfeeding" because the drug companies are covering their backsides. Most drugs actually ARE safe for nursing mothers, despite the warning on the bottle.

I hope somebody with Dr. Hale's book can post about Lexapro in particular- see what he says about that particular drug while nursing.

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#8 of 72 Old 07-26-2007, 01:56 AM
 
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This is wild... I imagine there are many others who are too embarrassed to admit to anyone or talk about this experience because they feel like there's something wrong with them. I seriously thought it was just me.

On the Lexapro thing... I don't know about taking it while bfing but I know that anyone with a tendency toward being bi polar should stay away from it because it can trigger manic episodes for those people.

For the longest time ( several childrens worth ) I never did anything specific about this. It took me until last week to see my ND with this babe and she's 10 mo. Oy. She has me doing some hardcore fish oil doses along with my multi/ probiotic/antioxidant regimine... as well as homeopathic Sepia. I go back in on Fri to evaluate. I've definately seen a slight difference in my overall balance but not the major changes I'm looking for. These things take time as I'm aware, so I'm being patient. I'll post the results of my visit and anything she recommends after my next visit as a reference. Of course what's good for me may not be the exact answer for someone else, but what the heck kwim?

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#9 of 72 Old 07-26-2007, 11:32 AM
 
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The label on the meds is purely CYA. Lexapro is totally safe while nursing. I have Hale's book here somewhere and will try to post what it says later.

Most, if not all, of the SSRI's are totally safe while nursing. HTH.

Mom to two beautiful boys, now in school to be a therapist and help other women with PPD.  
 

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#10 of 72 Old 07-26-2007, 05:36 PM
 
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Yeah... and you know what kills me? The fact that so many Dr.'s tell mamas that they have to quit bfing so that they can be treated That ends up adding to the depression for so many and totally unneccesarily. No thanks to the Dr.'s who don't choose to make themselves aware.

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#11 of 72 Old 07-26-2007, 10:51 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Milkymommi View Post
Holy. Cow. I can't believe I just read this. I only happened upon this post by mere chance. I just want you to know that you are ABSOLUTELY not alone. I have NEVER met ANYONE but myself who experiences this exact same thing. I'm in shock. I've talked to all my friends, LLL and everything inbetween to see if anyone has ever had this happen and I am the only one. My ND is the only person who has heard of it upon letdown and is currently treating me with homeopathy.

It is 100% hormones mama! I've had this happen with ALL 4 of my kiddos while bfing. It is the strangest thing ever and I really hate it. It's super strong right after birth and for some time after but then ( for me anyway) it seems to slowly get less intense. My dd is 10 mo and I still have it to some degree though it's much easier to deal with now. I even lose my appetite upon letdown. I imediately feel as though I hate food if I think about it even if I was starving previous to nursing. As soon as let down passes it lifts pretty much but it's aweful strange to go through.

We can talk more via pm if you'd like. Please feel free. I would LOVE to hear from someone else who has/is going through this.

I LOVE how shocked we all are to see others like us. I honestly thought it was just me. I tried searching the net and found not much of anything. With my first it took me awhile to even make the connection. I just figured "wow I feel sad and icky" not sure why. Icky is the best way I can describe it. It's such a RUSH that you just know it's hormones. It would even make my stomach feel...again, icky.

OP I hope it helps to know that you are not alone! It would've helped me!

Mommy to THREE sweet boys & ONE sweet girl + a newb due in February!  I need a nap. 
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#12 of 72 Old 07-27-2007, 07:42 PM
 
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I LOVE how shocked we all are to see others like us. I honestly thought it was just me. I tried searching the net and found not much of anything. With my first it took me awhile to even make the connection. I just figured "wow I feel sad and icky" not sure why. Icky is the best way I can describe it. It's such a RUSH that you just know it's hormones. It would even make my stomach feel...again, icky.

OP I hope it helps to know that you are not alone! It would've helped me!
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#13 of 72 Old 07-29-2007, 01:24 AM
 
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Went to the ND... we're slowly working on this. She just put me on some extra Magnesium ( like 600 mg ) along with the other supps while she delves into this a little further. She said it's not something that there's a ton of info out there on but she is familiar with it. She mentioned possibly treating with homeopathic prolactin... but wants to think on it some more. She talked about it having something to do with the pituitary gland drawing from a different area and a bunch of other stuff I just didn't store to long term memory When I go back I'll write it all down to share here.

She's so fantastic and she's very concerned with these issues as an attatched bfing mama herself. It's so great to sit in my Dr.'s space with our babies playing on the floor together, sitting in our slings or bfing at the same time while she helps keep me healthy !

Everyone stay sub'd to this thread and I'll keep the info that I get coming. I really think this needs to get out there as I'm SURE there have to be so many other mamas dealing with this wild ride.

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#14 of 72 Old 07-30-2007, 12:56 PM
 
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I want so much for you to know you are not alone. I have the same thing - a rush of depression, nausea, and a horrible headache. This did not happen with my first son, 14 years ago, but it is happening now with my daughter, 3 months old. I thought I was crazy - why would nature make breastfeeding unpleasant (physically) - although I do love to watch my baby bliss out on the milk. And like the other mama said, I can be starving, and then as soon as the milk lets down, I can't stand the thought of food and am instantly not hungry. I think Oxytocin is what brings the milk down, and it is supposed to be the hormone that promotes bonding and cuddling. I wonder why it is having a different reaction in some of us (not that we don't bond or cuddle)? Could it be interacting with a different chemical in us? I asked my midwife a few days pp and she said that it might be related to my rough labor, but that was 3 months ago now.
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#15 of 72 Old 07-30-2007, 01:04 PM
 
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www.kellymom.com has a complete list of safe antidepressents that you can take while bfing.

Zoloft is the safest followed by others.

 
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#16 of 72 Old 07-30-2007, 07:19 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Milkymommi View Post
Went to the ND... we're slowly working on this. She just put me on some extra Magnesium ( like 600 mg ) along with the other supps while she delves into this a little further. She said it's not something that there's a ton of info out there on but she is familiar with it. She mentioned possibly treating with homeopathic prolactin... but wants to think on it some more. She talked about it having something to do with the pituitary gland drawing from a different area and a bunch of other stuff I just didn't store to long term memory When I go back I'll write it all down to share here.

She's so fantastic and she's very concerned with these issues as an attatched bfing mama herself. It's so great to sit in my Dr.'s space with our babies playing on the floor together, sitting in our slings or bfing at the same time while she helps keep me healthy !

Everyone stay sub'd to this thread and I'll keep the info that I get coming. I really think this needs to get out there as I'm SURE there have to be so many other mamas dealing with this wild ride.

Thanks for the info.! Please let us know what else you find out.
Very curious!!
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#17 of 72 Old 07-31-2007, 01:05 AM
 
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I think Oxytocin is what brings the milk down, and it is supposed to be the hormone that promotes bonding and cuddling. I wonder why it is having a different reaction in some of us (not that we don't bond or cuddle)? Could it be interacting with a different chemical in us?
Prolactin is the "feel good, warm fuzzy" hormone that is related to bfing. Apparently this particular hormone hates us No, My ND did mention something about the pituitary gland and the prolactin causing this reaction in some women. I forgot to mention it to her since I can't recall clearly what she said...I'll send an email tonight before I head to bed. It's a very real thing we're experiencing and I don't think it has anything to do with traumatic birth or anything like that. It's one of the most undeniable feelings when it happens, as if you're being instantly taken over. The change is incredible and immediate upon letdown. I just can't get over it still that I'm in the company of others who have this issue.

No one has ever been able to understand.

Where's the op? You around mama? Maybe I'll pm her...

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#18 of 72 Old 08-03-2007, 04:01 AM
 
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I love nursing DS and I find it bonding and comforting, but when he first latches on, I get the rush of severe, severe, severe depressive feelings. I don't want to get into it, but wanted to let you know I'm following the thread 'cause I totally get where you're coming from.

Funny you mention the headaches -- got those too, at the beginning, and loss of appetite.
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#19 of 72 Old 08-04-2007, 01:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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i'm here. i really haven't been noticing it happening very often lately. i think it's spilled over into normal life, so I just don't notice it. my appointment is monday to be "evaluated." i'm dreading it. i want the whole ball to stop rolling, even though i'm the one who started it. i don't want to drive the 1/2 hour to get there, i don't want to sit in the waiting room of "behavioral health." i don't want to be evaluated. i want to be okay and i want to stop feeling like the world is ending and i don't want to look back on my life years from now and remember how guilty and depressed i was when i had the best husband and son and family and LIFE i could possibly ask for, and honestly i'm happy with my life, i really am. i don't understand how i can be this happy and be depressed. it's almost like apples and oranges, like i can be this way because depression is not a feeling and happiness is. but they shouldn't be able to coexist. i'm afraid they'll tell me shut up and take your medicine.
lord i don't make any sense.
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#20 of 72 Old 08-05-2007, 02:44 PM
 
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Family doctors and nurses know nothing more about depression, breastfeeding, PPD, or psychotropic medications than you or I. They have absolutely no training in any of these areas and come to all of them with a medical model bias that may not be in a mom's best interest. Perhaps talk therapy alone can resolve it or perhaps the physical sensations are triggering something about which you have not been fully aware. And perhaps it will simply go away without treatment. Maybe there is a physiologic process going on related to the biology of breastfeeding and a breastfeeding expert will have insight. Going to a nurse without a breastfeeding specialty for advice on this is no more likely to get you meaningful help than discussing it with your hair stylist.

Many psychotropics are perfectly safe to take while breastfeeding but many are not. I absolutely would not trust kellymom.com for that information. The most complete and accurate source of information on drugs and breastfeeding is Hale's Medications and Mother's Milk.

In order for prescription of an SSRI to be appropriate there needs to be some reason to believe that the physiologic process going on when the feelings come is related to seritonin reuptake. I don't know. Is there? Or was this nurse just saying, "Depressed? Take an anti-depressant."

Good luck! You are very wise to be asking lots of questions and exploring all of your options.

J.D. and mother to three. Sustainable Mothering and check out my Writing and Speaking
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#21 of 72 Old 08-05-2007, 11:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I had to cancel my appointment. My mom is in the hospital again - she had a heart attack in Feb, and was having chest pain and numbness in her arm last night but they decided it wasn't her heart this time but we still don't know what it is - and I have to man the daycare all by myself tomorrow.

I don't know what to do.
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#22 of 72 Old 08-06-2007, 04:49 PM
 
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I felt this way with my son. It was the most horrible feeling in the world. At times I felt like I never wanted to nurse again.. But I always did and 2.5 years and another baby later I still am. It was so uncomfortable, but it only lasted about a month for me. When I went back to work it stopped. In hind sight I probably was depressed but just never treated. This time I did not feel that way, but I undeniably did have ppd. Meds have helped SOOOO much I enjoy my kids in a whole new way and I don't dread getting up anymore!!! I never wanted to take meds.. but I would much rather take them than feel like that again...
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#23 of 72 Old 08-07-2007, 01:50 AM
 
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Dooney, is it at all possible for you to see a Naturopath? It's so much less intimidating and in many cases a great option to treat things like this. I have had fantastic results over the years with reguard to depression ( non- nursing ). We use Naturopathic care for everything possible and it's been really great for us. Maybe this could be a good place for you to start as well?

hang in there mama

Ima to Mizz.Jonas- 14, Isman- 12,Javsar- 9, Nani Gweesa- 4 and Baby Micah born into the Universe sleeping at full term Oct. 19th 2008 and Partner to Abba ~ belly.gif8/2011  Grateful to be Dead  broc1.gif
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#24 of 72 Old 08-09-2007, 01:55 PM
 
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I had been scanning this forum for a couple weeks looking for something to jump out at me, to explain how I had been feeling. I couldn’t put my finger on it. I assumed it was postpartum related, but I wouldn’t have called it depression. I originally didn’t click on this thread, because I had “moments” when I wasn’t nursing.

I decided to read the thread a few days ago and wished I had sooner!

I realized that the way I am feeling is connected to feeding and milk, the reason I didn’t realize it before is because it is related to LETDOWN specifically. In fact, I can tell a letdown is coming because of how I SUDDENLY feel. This happens several times during a feeding, but those times are not as intense as the emotional feelings I get in between feedings during a spontaneous letdown. I think this is because during feeding I am at least feeling more connected to my baby and the nice feelings of nursing and so the yucky emotional stuff is easier to ignore.

In between feedings it is much worse. I can tell I am about to letdown (about 60-90 seconds after it hits) because of how I feel and it’s a horrid feeling lasting about 2 minutes.

So to explain how I feel: It’s a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach. There is a strong aversion to food. I don’t feel sad, but I feel “icky and yucky.” It is a feeling I seem to have associated with strong feelings of worry and guilt in the past, because when I first started experiencing the sensation I kept searching for what I was feeling guilty or worried about. Turns out there was nothing, it was just that same sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that makes me loose my appetite that I had experienced in the past for these other reasons.

I feel able to cope with it, as I know now what it is and why. I think also as time goes on (my baby is 4 weeks now) it gets less intense. I lost a lot of weight quickly in the beginning because food always sounded so horrible. I am able to eat now, it’s just sometimes doesn’t sound good at the moment, or after I eat I momentarily wished I hadn’t. I think because the sensation lasts only moments now, where as before it was lingering.

My biggest thoughts right now are about NAMING this. If there are so many of us and it seems to be fairly unheard of, It ought to have a name. Also as a breastfeeding counselor I would take comfort in knowing what this emotional issue connected to breastfeeding IS.
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#25 of 72 Old 08-09-2007, 10:48 PM
 
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Ahdoula... your words could have come directly out of my own mouth.

I've been thinking about this for a couple of hours. I keep trying to post here but my dd keeps waking up to nurse so I have to keep leaving before I get my thoughts down

During the last nursing, I decided that I'm going to contact a friend of mine and ask her to read this thread. She just got her CLC and her mother is probably the most well reguarded IBCLC in our area. I'm curious as to what they will say about all this. I've mentioned it at LLL before but I'm pretty sure that at the times i've brought it up neither of them were there.

I haven't forgotten about posting the results of my ND visit either... I'm not going in till Monday. We've had to reschedule etc... I think i'm going to turn her on to this thread as well so maybe we'll get to hear from one or more of these ladies within the thread. I hope so.

Be well everyone!

Ima to Mizz.Jonas- 14, Isman- 12,Javsar- 9, Nani Gweesa- 4 and Baby Micah born into the Universe sleeping at full term Oct. 19th 2008 and Partner to Abba ~ belly.gif8/2011  Grateful to be Dead  broc1.gif
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#26 of 72 Old 08-10-2007, 10:25 AM
 
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Kristie,
I am a CLC myself and after two peer counselor programs and my CLC training, I havn't heard of it. An IBCLC may know better but I expecpt it is not the sort of thing in text books, but the sort of thing some IBCLCs know of through their own work. I should check my Answer Book and see if it gives mention....

Since yesterday it has seemed worse. Maybe becuase I am more aware of it, or maybe just a normal flucuation of the hormones.
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#27 of 72 Old 08-10-2007, 12:19 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ahdoula View Post

So to explain how I feel: It’s a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach. There is a strong aversion to food. I don’t feel sad, but I feel “icky and yucky.” It is a feeling I seem to have associated with strong feelings of worry and guilt in the past, because when I first started experiencing the sensation I kept searching for what I was feeling guilty or worried about. Turns out there was nothing, it was just that same sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that makes me loose my appetite that I had experienced in the past for these other reasons.


My biggest thoughts right now are about NAMING this. If there are so many of us and it seems to be fairly unheard of, It ought to have a name. Also as a breastfeeding counselor I would take comfort in knowing what this emotional issue connected to breastfeeding IS.

Ahdoula...thank you so much for your thoughts. You are right on!

I really connected with what you said about associating the feelings with something in the past. That is what I felt as well.
I remember as a child occasionally having that same deep in the gut feeling of "yuck". When I would get that feeling I recall, in my mind, creating a character out of it like a dragon and then I would imagine a prince coming and fighting it away. I know....sounds bizarre...: but I was little, what can I say.
I bring that up because that was the same in the gut Yuck feeling that I would have during letdown. I also found nursing extremely painful for the first few weeks. My little one is almost 9mos. now so I don't get those feelings really while nursing anymore. However, it impacted me enough that I'm still thinking about it and curious about what it is.
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#28 of 72 Old 08-13-2007, 02:03 PM
 
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I cant even express how happy I was to find this thread. I get the same icky feeling, in fact, it was one of many problems with bfing that lead to me pumping exclusively. I still get the yucky feeling with pumping. This last week its been better so hopefully its going away (my baby is 5 ½ months). Thank you all so much for sharing your experiences. I wish I read this sooner!
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#29 of 72 Old 08-14-2007, 04:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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If this is so common, why isn't there more help?
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#30 of 72 Old 08-14-2007, 09:55 PM
 
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Quote:
So to explain how I feel: It’s a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach. There is a strong aversion to food. I don’t feel sad, but I feel “icky and yucky.” It is a feeling I seem to have associated with strong feelings of worry and guilt in the past
yes, word for word, totally how I feel

And why isn't there more help? Hate to be all bitter about it, but I really think it's because it's a woman's issue, so there are all sorts of strange complexities surrounding it, some of which women do to themselves such as questioning their worth as a mother ("if I were a good mom wouldn't I feel great nursing my DC?," "I haven't heard about this before, I must be the only one," etc), so it makes it almost 'shameful' to disclose such things. Also I think there is a real prejudice against emotional/psychological problems. They aren't as easy to deal with, not tangible like the physical. I ALSO think that the reason we have problems with mental illness and emotional/psychological problems is because we associate emotion with women.
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