Paranoid??? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 07-30-2003, 04:45 PM - Thread Starter
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Is being paraniod part of depression, or low selfesteem, or something else? I am always wooried about what other will think of me. I have NO close friends (depite being in 2 playgroups, one of them for 3 years)because I'm afraid if they really get to know me they won't like me. I'm even afraid of what the online mamas think of me. I am afraid to say anything in fear it might me the wrong thing to say. Sometimes I just want to be a hermitt so I don't have to deal with people. The weird part is that I am very outgoing/opinionated with family. I know this is not normal...has anyone else experienced this, or know why someone would have this problem?

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#2 of 6 Old 07-30-2003, 05:04 PM
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Yes, being paranoid like that is one of the forms depression can take. I asked my psychiatrist a few months back about it because anxiety is one of my symptoms. He said that different people feel depression in different ways. Some people get "depressed" in the way most people think of depression -- the blues. Other people feel anxiety like I do (mine is anxiety about my health, mostly about my heart.) Some people have what you describe, it is sort of like a social paranoia. They fear what others think or will say about them. All of these things can lead to agoraphobia in extreme cases. It's almost like you get the bonus of social anxiety disorder along with depression. Nice, huh.:

If your doctor doesn't know about this aspect of your situation, you should tell him/her. They may be able to better specialize your treatment to include dealing with this.

Best of luck to you, and know that none of us here are judging you. We are rowing in that same boat right along side of you.
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#3 of 6 Old 07-31-2003, 09:58 AM
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Yes, I do suffer from that feeling myself. I personally dont have low self-esteem, I love myself pretty much. I think it could stem from different things depending on the person.

But I do know how it feels!! I have a REALLY bad problem maintaining freindships with other females. And then I get all paranoid like that my male friends just want in my pants, and then my fears get confirmed and it SUCKS!! Especially because I think Im outgoing, like you, I offend or something? others with my high motivation? being myself?attitude? open-ended opinions?honesty? I dont know. (if you know what it is please tell me!!) Im always trying to mellow myself out! not because I dont like myself but because I want to be able to relate with others.......females perticualary I have no probems with males.

However, I think in todays world, so-to-speak, it is a valid fear. When I look in some hearts of peoples its like they are so judgemental, almost worried about proving thier own status or something. To hell with that I say! I dont have to prove anything! Or maybe its just their own low self esteem. Much of my own conflicts come from other's bad energy. Becasue I think as long as you know YOU are being open, & caring (& not too freaky,funky or smelly......or hell that dont matter!!) then it shouldnt matter because if they REALLY are cool, they will like you no matter what!! and want to know you for who you are. Which is why its worth it to keep showin' your lovin' light a glowin!!
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#4 of 6 Old 08-10-2003, 01:55 PM
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When I'm depressed, it skews my whole thinking and I get rather paranoid and cynical. Also I'm very withdrawn when depressed and don't wanna socialise. I get the 'can't be bothered', 'what's the point' of it feelings. I feel alienated from people when depressed - I just feel totally odd. It's not actually apparent to me either until I get better then I can see how paranoid and unsociable I was. I just don't function well when depressed. I'm pretty friendly and outgoing as well so people often don't notice when I'm suffering from depression. I just keep up appearances because I hate trying to explain it to folks who don't understand.

So I don't think you're weird. Depression really mucks up your head.
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#5 of 6 Old 11-09-2003, 09:14 PM
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i feel the same way. i have always assumed it is a form of social anxiety disorder. at the moment i have no close friends and haven't tried making any. then i get lonely and depressed because of it. i always was more comfortable with male friends but now that i am married that is out. ssri work on this problem for me.
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#6 of 6 Old 11-09-2003, 09:43 PM
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I have paranoid or low self-esteem feelings about dealing with people, too. I'm often wondering if someone really likes me, or if something I said sounded how I wanted it to sound. When I was younger I used to have a lot of "pretend" conversations with people, I think because I felt in control of what I wanted to say that way. It's strange because though I'm somewhat of an introvert, I wouldn't consider myself shy. In fact I'm one of the first to speak up in a group setting and not afraid to speak my mind. But then once the words have left my mouth I start to worry!

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