postpartum anxiety - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 38 Old 04-13-2008, 11:02 PM
 
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Hi girls,
I think I'll jump in since this issue seems to be the feature presentation of my life right now. I thought I was doing pretty good for a while after dd2 was born (5/08), but similar to my last ppd experience...it started to creep in at around 5-6mo. pp and it's been a very slippery slope. The past few weeks have gotten very tricky and I decided to go on the meds...Zoloft 50mg...I just want to be a good mother, I mean I know that I am...but it doesn't feel that way when I'm depressed and anxious.

ughh! I started them yesterday and was up half the night thankfully dh is a total night owl, so we hung out and talked, and laughed about really stupid stuff..kinda fun, except for the headache and weird spacey feeling.
I hope I start feeling better soon, ...how did it happen? I was keeping an eye out for it, taking my vitamins, planting my garden, and boom!

Last time I had ppd, I refused to take meds for almost 3 years....I was soooo hard on myself. Taking the meds makes me feel guilty, like I'm weak or taking the easy way out. This is probably why I'm posting in the mental health forum, huh? But I am determined to find a way out of this before I miss out on these precious early years with my kiddos.
Goddess help me
emese~ I am comforted by your posts....it's like a page from my own journal. Thanks for sharing!
river~ dh is hopefully switching jobs (remember me form chef forum?) it would be a 40 hour a week job!!!!!! at the foundry. hoping and praying for that!!!
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#32 of 38 Old 04-14-2008, 12:00 AM
 
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creektownmama--it sounds like you have been on meds before so maybe you know this, but the weird spacey feeling went away quickly for me. Also splitting the dose in half has helped me sleep (half in the morning, half at night). I don't know if it's just in my head or if it keeps the level of meds more constant, but it works.
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#33 of 38 Old 04-14-2008, 05:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Creektown I hope the meds are helpful to you now. I SO hear you on not wanting to miss out on the cruical early years with your kiddos. I really regret that it took me 2.5 yrs to get meds after I had my first.

You are not weak or taking the easy way out to get meds if/when you need them. Interesting that it has been at 5-6 mos. postpartum that your depression/anxiety is showing itself. Sounds like your dh is pretty supportive. That's good. Take care of yourself.


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#34 of 38 Old 04-23-2008, 01:39 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Mamas I need to post tonight. It's been a bit of rough going. My meds were working great (30 mg of Prozac per night) except that I noticed after the increase the dizziness, depersonalization and drowsiness were not going away. I LOVED the mood lift it gave me though and the patience. Loved it. Anyhow, my psychiatrist said let's go down to 20 mg with the Prozac and then we'll stack a bit of Wellbutrin or Desyrel to give you some added anti-dep affect, but cut back on the side effects that aren't going away.

I am super sensitive to meds and increased in 1/4 dozes, after awhile in 1/2 doses. It has worked well this way. But I agreed to go from 30 mg of prozac to 20 mg and had unpleasant discontinuation symptoms for a few days. On day 4 I took a mega dose of Omega 3's trying to rev up my metabolism some at dh's encouragement (we'd been reading about weight gain due to SSRI's and I've definitely gained weight). I think I had a drug interaction with the prozac and the fish oils. Ugh. It was not fun. My mood was quite wonky and there were many very unpleasant physical sensations and thoughts. Their intensity and the lack of my control over them unsettled me.

I spoke with my psychiatrist today and she agreed that perhaps we'd been weaning too quickly. I'm back up to 25 mg. I want to stay there. I like my meds! I like to feel sane and stable and happy and in control. The way I was feeling last night and a bit today reminds me of my traumatic teen years when things felt so out of control and I was suicidal. I hate feeling that way. Hate it.

Please pray for me and my journey.

I hope the rest of you are doing well. Anybody else care to chime in about how they are?


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#35 of 38 Old 04-25-2008, 10:31 PM
 
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I know its been said but just another voice to confirm that your meds are probably working fine....but WOW with that kind of stress, no wonder some of it is pushing through to the surface.

I've been on meds since long before DS was born (anxiety & depression) and while they DEFINITELY work great for me, a couple of times I had that experience when something so stressfull would be lurking around my brain that I'd get some panic attacks...and then I'd have to sit back, figure out why, sort out the cause of stress and everything would eventually be back on an even keel. I'm making it sound easier than it is...but you get the idea.

I'm so sorry because it sounds like there are a lot of external causes of stress for you but if it helps at ALL...this is most probably just a totally natural reaction to everything going on around you.

I REALLY REALLY hope things start to sort themselves out for you soon...and you get some SLEEP. Really sending you good thoughts.....
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#36 of 38 Old 04-29-2008, 08:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks


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#37 of 38 Old 05-01-2008, 03:10 PM
 
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Is it just before a letdown of milk mama? I found this site about something called Depressive Milk Ejection Relfex and it talks about a wave of anxiety just prior to milk release. Check it out

www.D-MER.org
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#38 of 38 Old 05-04-2008, 12:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EllieMac View Post
Is it just before a letdown of milk mama? I found this site about something called Depressive Milk Ejection Relfex and it talks about a wave of anxiety just prior to milk release. Check it out

www.D-MER.org
No, mercifully I get a strong sensation of sleepiness when my milk lets down, and relaxation. : Sometimes I feel a little breathless during a let down, or at most stressed/irritated if things going on around me are getting too much, but otherwise it's lovely.

Lately my nerves seem to be bad again. Oh well, gotta keep at it.


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