I've got the baby blahs - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 09-21-2003, 05:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I seriously feel like I'm sleepwalking. I'm totally uninterested in anything. The board I used to post on all the time is just boring and obnoxious to me now. I feel like I have nothing to talk to them about. This one is better, but I've only been posting here for a couple of days. My temper is sometimes out of control with my 4 year old, and as much as I love my new baby, sometimes I just want to give him to someone else and leave. I was really hoping to avoid PPD this time. I had it really bad with my 1st DS.

Ashe, mom to Kolaiah 09/09/03 and Gabriel 04/21/99
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#2 of 11 Old 09-22-2003, 11:24 AM
 
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I love that term, the baby blahs! That's how I feel sometimes, and I definitely feel like handing DD over sometimes, too. Then I feel guilty b/c I'm "supposed" to be glowing and luvvvvving everything about being a mom, right?

It sounds from your post like you had PPD with your first? Although you were hoping to avoid it with baby #2, at least you will know the signs better and hopefully have an easier time knowing how to get the support you need, if it gets to the point where you need it.

I'm sorry you are having a rough time. Can you get some time to yourself to do something that might refresh your outlook? Something you enjoy like writing or swimming or hiking or something? Maybe that'll help you feel more enlivened if it's just a funk you're in.

Hugs,
Carol
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#3 of 11 Old 09-23-2003, 06:21 PM
 
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Ashe, the sad truth is that if you had ppd once, you have a much higher chance of it returning. It sounds as if it has found it's way back into your life again. How did you deal with it last time? Did you take meds? Therapy? I hope you didn't just suffer. Life is too short to be miserable.
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#4 of 11 Old 09-23-2003, 06:23 PM
 
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BTW, anyone who thinks that two is a terrible age has never had a four year old.: Four years with my ds1 was definitely the most challenging. I'm feeling your frustration.
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#5 of 11 Old 10-11-2003, 07:32 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jish
BTW, anyone who thinks that two is a terrible age has never had a four year old.: Four years with my ds1 was definitely the most challenging. I'm feeling your frustration.
This has been my experience as well. Four has really thrown me for a loop!

I just had my baby last Sunday. I'm still having sadness with the idea that I'm not pregnant and just feeling kind of blah about everything too. Well, except the baby who I feel like is growing up already and she is only a week old. It's been hard to be as interested in my 4 year old, but I've been trying so she doesn't feel rejected. I hope it doesn't last for too much longer, but I'm afraid it might.
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#6 of 11 Old 10-12-2003, 12:40 AM
 
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Amy, here is something I wish someone would have told me before I had my second child and went through a tremendous amount of guilt. There is a likelyhood that you will go through a period where you might feel like you don't love your firstborn as much as you used to. I had this after my second was born, though now I can't remember when it started. I really felt like I may have made a mistake by having another when I started to feel less emotion for my first child. It was awful. I didn't feel as connected to him, he would get on my nerves so easy, and I just didn't have that "feeling" for him that I had before, iykwim. It lasted about six weeks or so and then it was gone, and I loved him more than ever once again.

After it was over I asked some of my other friends if they had felt that way, and when I described it they would look at me with amazement and say "YES!!!!" They just never admitted it to anyone because they felt so bad about it. It's like it's a dirty little secret. Thankfully, I am one of those people who figures I can't possibly be the only person who feels the way I feel, so I feel other people out and ask questions. It always turns out that moms are so relieved and willing to talk to me. It's the same way with my depression. I know I'm not alone, though I may be the most willing to talk about it.

I just wanted to share my experience in case you start feeling the same way, and feeling really guilty about it.

BTW, congrats on the new baby.
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#7 of 11 Old 10-12-2003, 02:31 PM
 
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Jish, I am crying from reading your post...that made me feel better. I had my baby on Wednesday and I am feeling so much, i don't know, resentment? toward my son, who is 3. I have totally lost my temper with him lately, which is the last thing he needs while adjusting to the new baby. I feel like a horrible mother.
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#8 of 11 Old 10-12-2003, 04:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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nak
me too! thank god i'm not the only one! i hope it passes soon. i still love my 4 year old and he deserves to still have his mom around to care for him!
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#9 of 11 Old 10-13-2003, 09:32 PM
 
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It's an awful feeling, isn't it. Unfortunately, not one soul told me that I might possibly feel that way. I'm glad that sharing my experience helped. I was so glad to find out that others felt that way when I started asking people. I just knew I couldn't be alone. Now when people ask me what the biggest change is when you add a second child, that's what I tell them. I know when I do that they don't believe me, how could anyone not love their first child as much, even for a short time, but they remember when the time comes and often tell me that was the best information they got about second children.

It's like a sad, guilty secret.
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#10 of 11 Old 10-14-2003, 01:36 AM
 
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#11 of 11 Old 10-14-2003, 03:46 PM
 
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Awww, no fair making a pregnant woman cry. I had no idea when I posted that what an impact it would make. I feel like I should write an article or something and have it published somewhere. We moms feel enough guilt in our lives that we shouldn't have to feel horrible for feeling like that, when it is evidentally a very common occurence. It shouldn't be a hidden secret that people are afraid to talk about when this many people feel so bad about it. I guess this is one more secret of motherhood exposed and that is a good thing.
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