I guess I am starting to sound *whiny* - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 09-23-2003, 02:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I post on other boards about my panic/anxiety attacks. I definetly have some form of either baby blues or PPD. I have been posting some time (on other boards) of my panic attacks when my DS starts whimpering before he cries. I do have a doctor's appointment next month. This time, I posted about a friend and asked a poll on what kept them going with these early months of baby's life? They really blasted me and said love pure and simple. I love my DS to the point it hurts. I have just been to busy *worrying* about him to enjoy these few months of him being a small baby.

I do realize that he is doing all the things a 9wk old is supposed to do like feeding every 2 hours and having fussy periods. I did not realize that I was only complaining and not looking at the blessings and I feel really bad about that. Even my DH says all I do is complain. I really need to change my attitude. I do love my DS and I cherish him. I did not realize I was this terrible. Thanks for listening!
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#2 of 4 Old 09-23-2003, 06:49 PM
 
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Wow, how awful of them to blast you for sharing your concerns and feelings. However, as someone who suffers from anxiety and panic attacks, I can tell you that only someone who also suffers from then can really understand. My IRL friends try so hard, but they think that anxiety is being stressed out about something. There is no way to explain how anxiety and panic overwhelms you and changes your life.

My anxiety focuses about my health. When it really gets going I am sure that I am going to die of some horrid disease, or of an instant heart attack. It is all that I can think about. My panic attacks often come out of the blue and are miserable and wipe me out for the entire day both physically and emotionally.

For me it started around the time my ds2 turned a year old, but I went undiagnosed and called a hypochondriac by my internist for nearly a year. I finally got so physically and emotionally ill that my dh took me to the ER where I was diagnosed with anxiety and clinical depression. I spent six days in the Psych unit (believe it or not, that was wonderful and just what I needed to get healthy again.) Many people are like you and their anxiety focuses around their children. Just make sure you get help before you slide down the slope that I did. There are many meds that will help with the anxiety and panic (Lexapro and Zoloft are two that worked well for me) and are breastfeeding compatible.

If you ever want to vent privately, feel free to PM me. I'm always willing to "listen." I'm off my meds and pregnant again and doing very well, but the experience is still right under the surface.
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#3 of 4 Old 09-24-2003, 12:40 AM
 
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This is kind of OT, but your story reminds me of when my DD was about 16 months old. She is very spirited, intense, demanding, etc. My husband was telling a female co-worker of his who had a younger child about how difficult our daughter was and how we could never seem to meet her needs quickly or well enough. The woman looked at him and said something to the effect of, "well, all you have to do with children is LOVE them enough and they will behave." This came from someone who left her baby in daycare part-time from a very early age and later went back to work full-time, while I was spending every single minute of every single day with my daughter, loving her beyond all belief and devoting every ounce of my being to her. That she could imply I didn't love my child enough because she wasn't a perfect angel made me so angry!!

I guess my point is that when people who aren't living through what you are, they just don't get it, and I understand how hurtful it can be when people unwittingly say things that are soooo thoughtless and cold. I'm sorry you experienced that. But I will say this - don't believe everything you hear about the overwhelming love women feel for their babies. I guarantee some of them are faking it because our society teaches us we SHOULD feel that way. It is not at all uncommon to feel overwhelmed and anxious and stressed with a newborn, and don't let some people convince you otherwise. I love my daughter more than anything, but have had vexing and challenging and tough times since the beginning. It's okay to complain. It IS hard work. If venting makes you feel better, then you should definitely do it. Bottling things up inside would be far more detrimental, IMHO.

Hugs,
Carol
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#4 of 4 Old 09-24-2003, 03:32 PM
 
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hi new mommy,
i just had my fourth child four weeks ago and my depression is back. i've suffered with it on & off for years (depression/anxiety/panic attacks) and it's just a terrible part of my life. i've done meds & therapy at different times, sometimes things work, sometimes they don't. what i do know is that your love for your child has nothing to do with your depression. you could be the nost loving person in the world & still be depressed. you're looking for help which is the right thing to do. those "friends" who told you love will conquer all are misguided and don't know what it's like to be depressed. i spoke to a therapist who does phone counselling named Jan Hunt. i found her on the natural child website. . her rates are reasonable and she's very easy to talk to. i know what you're going through, believe me. you can and will make it through and we all know how much you love your baby! consider meds if it's bad, they really do help. unfortunately. part of my anxiety is related to meds and i have a hard time taking them. when i did though, i had a new lease on life. there are some nutritional strategies you could try, but they take a bigger committment than one pill per day. i'm a nutritionist if you'd like some free advice in that area. cry when you need to, call whenever you need to and try jan hunt...most of all, don't let anyone make you doubt your love for your beautiful child.
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